Post # 1
I heard that traditionally the groom’s parents plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. Since we’re splitting the wedding costs three ways between his parents, my parents, and us, I don’t really think who pays for it matters in the end since we’ll be splitting all costs. I’ve seen his Mom somewhat recently, but we didn’t really talk about wedding stuff and the rehearsal dinner never really came up in any of our conversations so far. I don’t really want to ask if she’s going to plan it because she might feel bad that she didn’t offer to. Should I start researching venues and then ask for her opinion? I’m just getting a little anxious and I don’t want to wait until it’s too late.
Post # 3
Traditionally speaking the grooms family pays for the rehearsal dinner but if she doesn’t come out and offer to do so, then you really shouldn’t bring it up. If I were you, I would plan the rehearsal dinner as if you were going to be paying for it and let her come to you if she wants to chip in. Since your FIL’s are contributing to the wedding they certainly don’t have to contribute to the rehearsal dinner if they don’t want to.
Post # 4
So many things that are “tradition” have changed throughout the years. “Traditionally” the brides family pays for your wedding, so even with your in-laws pitching in, this would be an example of how things are so different now.
I would also, just plan the Rehearsal Dinner with the impression and expectance that you may have to pay for it.
Post # 5
I agree with PPs – I would just plan the rehearsal dinner as though you’re paying for it. Perhaps closer to the time she will mention that she’d like to contribute towards it.
Post # 6
Thanks for the advice! His Mom is the sweetest lady ever and the last thing I want to do is make her feel uncomfortable. My fiance is the first one in his family (even including cousins on both sides) to get married so I don’t think anyone in his family has much experience planning a wedding. I’m going to start looking for venues now 🙂
Post # 7
What if you phrased it like, we know you’re already contributing to the wedding, but the grooms family traditionally plans the Rehearsal dinner and I didn’t know if you wanted to pick out a location?