(Closed) Who should get married first?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Really?

 

I think you should each get married whenever you want…… as long as it’s not the same weekend.

Post # 4
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Both of you need to pick your wedding dates independent of each other. If you could both come to a mature understanding to make it easier for all of your relatives to attend, that would be nice. However, this has a hint of old school sibling rivalry, so i think you guys need to disengage fromt his argument and focus on yourselves instead of each other.

Post # 6
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jhub:  So just to be clear, you don’t care if she gets married in the summer of 2014, but she doesn’t want you to get married that summer (August) if she gets married then?

 

Post # 7
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think you guys need to just both get married when you want as long as it’s not super inconvenient for everyone. Just wondering though, why do you really want to get married on your brother’s birthday?

Post # 10
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think that being in the same family really does not matter, because a wedding is about the couple starting their new lives together. It really has nothing to do with anyone else, guests are just a + that you are allowing. So with that said I believe that you need to do what you want to do, what you imagine would be the perfect wedding for the two of you. So if that means both of you having your wedding in the same season its no big deal. Make it work. You guys are sisters! Be happy for eachother! 

Post # 11
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@jhub: Tjat’s a nice idea. I figured it was something like that, but I just wanted to know up front if it was something weird like you always were jealous of his birthday becasue it was the week before yours, etc. Some of the people who post specific dates like that are crazy  lol

Post # 13
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

@jhub:  

Can’t she get married in June or something?  Two months difference is lots of time between weddings, plus hers would be first which should make her happy.  I understand not wanting to do it in the same month because most relatives aren’t going to travel twice in a month for family weddings.  Are you sure she didn’t also want to use your brother’s birthday?  Maybe that’s why she’s upset.

Post # 14
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jhub:  My goodness.. It really sounds like you two need to sit down and have a calm discussion about this, even if she’s finding it hard to stay calm. I can’t even imagine hoping those things about my big sisters and their relationships. It sounds like she has some growing up to do. 

If she REALLY needs to have her own ‘season,’ she can hurry up and make plans and get married this summer. She has 7 months to plan for August 2013, tell her to get her butt in gear. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My husband and I got married in June 2012 and my brother and his wife got married Sept 2012.  Depending on the kinds of wedding that you are having, it does matter.  There was no bitterness, no rivalry (ok a tiny bit, but we did our best to be grown ups aboout it ;). 

Honestly, for those getting married later, it truly may impact the kind of wedding that you have.  We really didn’t think it would, but I think our family definitely did suffer from some wedding fatigue.

My brother and his wife got engaged later than us, and planned it later.  There was no back story, no fighting for dates, etc.  But, our weddings definitely had a lot of DIY, and our family was really tired by the time September got here.

I don’t have a lot of advice, because it sounds like you sister is being a bit unreasonable.  I just wanted to share our experience.  Maybe in some families or with a some weddings it wouldn’t matter 🙂

Post # 16
Hostess
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I say you in Aug and her in Oct. 2 months apart should be enough time for people to re-group.  You can always do a double wedding and squash the whole thing Wink   KIDDING!!

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