Post # 1
We’re going to a wedding soon, and DH is a groomsman. I’m knocked up, can’t drink, won’t know many people there, and apparently he’ll be sitting at the head table while I’m seated with…I don’t know who.
I understand the wedding is about the couple, but I don’t understand the point of head tables. It’s not even like the bride/groom can actually talk to the people sitting on the ends, and everyone would obviously rather sit with their own dates than in a line with the random other attendants they may or may not know well.
At our wedding, we had a head table, but with our three attendants on each side, and using both sides of the table, we had everyone sitting up there with their dates. We were able to look across the table and actually talk to everyone. Other things I’ve seen are having just the BM and MOH and their dates with the B&G at the head table (if the wedding party is too big for what we did). Then obviously there’s the sweetheart table, where the B&G sit together and everyone else sits with their dates.
Maybe I’m being selfish and crabby on pregnancy hormones, but I’m just dreading going to this whole event essentially by myself. And I feel like if you’re truly thinking about your guests/loved ones, especially at such a romantic event, then you’d want to let them sit with their SOs.
What do you think? Comments welcome, I can take it.
Post # 3
@ZoeyGirl: I favor sweetheart tables and allowing the bridal party to sit with their dates.
Post # 5
@ZoeyGirl: I agree. I think that if the head table isn’t big enough to fit all the bridal party PLUS their dates then you need to find another option that works. We have a big bridal party so we are doing a sweetheart table and then sitting all the party members at other tables with their dates and other people they are close with. I just want everyone to be happy and comfortable and when I asked all of my bridesmaids, that is what every single one of them said they would prefer. Plus I think that I will enjoy that time with my fiance, it will probably be the only we get to spend just us 2.
Post # 6
@ZoeyGirl: I know what you mean. I was in a wedding and sat at the head table, on the end. The guy next to me could not have been less interested in conversation. So I sat there the whole time looking out at the other tables and seeing how much fun they seemed to be having. I was miserable. My daughter is getting married in January and they will be at a sweetheart table. She wants her bridal party to sit with their friends and families. And as a bonus, she will get a little time to talk to her sweetie!
Post # 7
When SO was a groomsman at his twin brother’s wedding, they had a head table. The groomsmen consisted of SO, SO’s younger brother, and SO’s best friend. Bridesmaids were the bride’s two sisters and best friend. Almost all had significant long term partners. None got to sit with them. I ended up being squashed onto a table of 11 with SO’s parents, grandparents and aunties – it became obvious as the night went on that SO’s mother had asked me to be put on their table, as I was supposed to be put with a group of mutual friends. Still makes me burn to this day – how hard would it have been to seat the bridal party with their partners? They all looked miserable sitting up there, especially the non-family groomsman/bridesmaid.
I voted for head table with dates, facing each other. I understand the concept of the head table, especially when it comes to speeches (you can see the speech maker, plus the bride and groom) and evryone can face each other comfortable to talk. Nothing more embarasssing than the bride and groom trying to eat their meals at what is essentially a ‘stage’.
Post # 8
I was MOH in a wedding last year, and the whole bridal party sat at the head table, and our dates sat at another table together. When I wasn’t eating/ giving my speech, I wasn’t at the head table- I was dancing and hanging out at the date table. Now that it is my big day, I am leaning toward having one BM and GM at the head table with us (mostly because we probably have 16 people in the bridal party and that would be a ridiculous head table). But there is that small evil part of me that wants to make my friend who made me sit apart from FI at her wedding sit apart from her husband- evil I know.
Post # 9
I’m of the opinion that it is incredibly rude to split dates up. I’m also not a fan of sweetheart tables (just personal preference) so our head table is going to be bridal party + dates (about 26 people!!) so we will be on both sides of the head table. I also find the whole “head table looking out at the masses” thing kind of creepy (again, just a prefence) anyway!
Post # 10
I don’t love head tables either – but even worse to me is the sweetheart table. I’m a total introvert and would feel like I’m putting myself and FI on display or something at a sweetheart table.
We are planning on sitting at a normal round table with both sets of parents and our one living grandparent.
Post # 11
Allowing the bridal party to sit with their dates is SO apprecaited by the BP. I remember being a newer girlfriend to my now FI – he was best man at his brother’s wedding and I was SO appreciative of the fact that they opted for the BP to sit with dates. I got to sit at their table and everything – it was super nice
Post # 12
Only two of our bridal party had dates, and they both had other friends coming that they sat with. Personally it wouldn’t bother me for DH to sit at the head table without me, because I’m usually very friendly and happy to talk to others. There are times when I become really introverted and get overwhelmed by people, but having him sitting with me wouldn’t change that.
Post # 13
I never cared about head tables…until I was BM and had to sit at one. I think they are outdated and just rude to the bridal party and their spouses/partners. I also hated that we were on display while we were eating. I don’t understand the appeal!
Post # 14
@HeartsandSparkles: Haha you should keep your original plan and then just “accidentally” put her at a different table. I’m totally kidding though, but I understand the urge.
I just feel like you want your guests to have an awesome time at your wedding, and that should go doubly for your bridal party who’ve put so much time and work into your day. If everyone would rather sit with their dates, then why do we keep having separate head tables?
Post # 15
What do people think who are clicking the head table idea? I feel like most of the comments are agreeing with letting attendants sit with their dates, but the votes are mixed. I’m trying to be in a better state of mind and be less self-absorbed about this, so I’d appreciate hearing from the other side!
Post # 16
I don’t like splitting up dates, and for people who say u are putting yourself on display by doing a sweetheart tables, aren’t you just putting your whole wedding party on display by having them all at your head table. Personally the wedding is not about my fiance, talking to his boys all night, it is suppose to be about me and him, so I like the idea of him and I having our own table and maybe just having the amaid of honor and her date and his best man.