Post # 1
Long story short, my dad is an arse and I don’t speak to him. He will also not be invited to my wedding.
I have an uncle who has been there for me my entire life and I also have a step-dad that I feel started out kind of shakey, filling in on the father figure role, but means well and has gotten better over the years. I feel more on the obligated side to include my stepdad in the father parts of my wedding, but really want my uncle to play the big part. I thought about having them both walk me down the aisle, but it just seems like it would be a hassle, having one person on each side of me. And what about the father-daughter dance?
Any tips or stories from experience would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Post # 3
Well, first off, you don’t HAVE to be walked down the aisle or have a father/daughter dance. However, you said yourself you REALLY want your uncle to play the big part – so why not have him walk you down the aisle, and if you want to do the father/daughter dance, do it with your stepfather?
Post # 4
@kariface: I should have clarified that a little better… If there is going to be a big part to be played, I would rather my uncle be the one. I am considering just omitting the father roles of the wedding. However, I do like your idea.
Post # 5
OMG! I started reading this and I had to double check to make sure it wasn’t my post! hahha. I’m in the same situation where my dad is an a$$. Haven’t seen or heard from him in about 5 years. I had plan on being the bigger person and invite him to the wedding but no one has his address.
My uncle who has been a father figure since I was a child will be walking me down the aisle! 🙂
Post # 6
I know a couple people who had 2 people walk them down the aisle. One person waited halfway, while the other walked the bride halfway up, then they switched off.
Post # 7
I love the idea that your uncle has taken on a father role in your life, and that he means a lot to you.
However, do you think that if you have him walk you down the aisle, and do the “father/daughter” dance with him, your step father will be really hurt?
I think this situation becomes tricky, because although it is your wedding, and you can obviously do whatever you want, I would worry about feelings being very hurt. (Not sure if that occured to you or not, or if you care wither way… No judgement either way… just thought I should point it out)
I would either omit it entirely, or split the duties between them (ie: have them both walk you down the aisle and then split the father daughter song in two, or have two songs) or have one walk you down the aisle and then dance with the other one.
Just my opinion. But, you’re obviously an adult and can do what you want… You just asked for opinions
Post # 8
Our officiant came to our house on Sunday and we actually talked about this. I don’t have any family and there’s really no one I want to walk me down the aisle. So what I am going to be doing is walking by myself, and then FI is going to walk back up the aisle and meet me half way, walk me the rest of the way.
However, if you want your uncle to play a big part, definitely have him do it! 🙂 If you don’t talk to your dad, then he doesn’t deserve the honor of giving you away. You should have someone that you trust and who plays a large role in your life.
Post # 9
My dad passed away, so I’m having my uncle walk me down the aisle. You can definitely have both your step-dad and uncle walk you if you want. It doesn’t look strange at all. More and more weddings have both mom and dad walking the bride down the aisle (or some other variation of two family members). Totally works.
If you only want your uncle to walk you down the aisle, why not have the father/daughter dance with your step-dad?
I’m omitting the father/daughter dance completely, so that’s an option too. It’s your wedding so do what you feel comfortable with. 🙂
Post # 10
I think it’s perfectly fine and really sweet to ask your uncle! If my dad wasn’t there, I’d ask my uncle because he’s been more of a dad to me my whole life than my own dad. Also a friend of mine’s father passed away a year before her wedding so she had a close male friend of the family to walk her down the aisle. You cld then ask your stepdad to do the father/daughter dance maybe?
Post # 11
@jenjen96: Haha! I thought about inviting him anyway, but I don’t want any negative energy on my wedding day. He would probably play nice for the day, but I would be insecure about the situation, just knowing he was being fake. Screw that.
I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have my uncle walk me down the aisle and my step-dad do the father/daughter dance. Slow dancing isn’t really my uncle’s style, anyway. Thanks for the help, ladies!
Post # 12
@Ms.Meghann: Yes, he has been great. My dad didn’t really even make much of an appearance until I was about 13. My uncle has always been there, always supportive, and always helpful. He even bought me my first car. He means a lot to me. <3
Post # 13
My dad passed away when I was 9. Originally I wanted my mother to walk me down as she has been the constant parent/supporter/provider/superwoman my entire life. However, my grandfather has been asking to walk me constantly (my mother never married so I’m guessing I’m his last chance). I’m not particularly close to him and I really feel my mom should do it but i’ve since compromised with him and decided to have him walk me half way, and my mom will walk me the rest of the way. As for the father/daughter dance, I’m skipping it.