Post # 1
I grew up without my dad and he will not be invited to the wedding. When I was little, I always knew my brother would be walking me down the aisle, but i don’t remember if my mom would join in that honor or not. Now I have to make a decision for myself and everyone around me has just assumed that my mom would walk me. I don’t know if that is what I want. To have both my mom and brother or just my Brother. Regardless, I want my brother with me.
What I am torn about is I’m scared I’ll regret not having my mom with me but I also don’t know if that is what I really want because so many people have already implanted their own thoughts into my head like it was the obvious decision to make. No one asked me what I wanted or cared untill now, in which case its only my FI and his mom. I love my mom to pieces, i mean, she alone raised us, but she is also one of those moms who live vicariously through her children and is having trouble understanding it is MY FI’s and MY wedding! She also has a knack for making you think it was your decision to include her in anything because she plays a victim role in her everyday life and that also makes it hard. She can easily manipulate my thoughts this way. My mom is practically having mini melt downs every time she thinks about any aspect of my wedding and really wants to have the “memory” of walking me down the aisle and “un-veiling” me in front of my FI at the end of the aisle. (P.s. I never wanted a veil in front of my face. This is HER wish)
i have an alternative to her walking down the aisle, where she would join my brother and I just before the alter where she will unveil me then step up with us to “give me away” that way she can watch her 2 children.
My FI wants me to make the decision without any influence and says if he finds out it wasn’t what I truly wanted, it would ruine his memory of that moment. I get he wants it to be my decision but I don’t know what to do! Sorry this is long but can someone please help give me some insight?
Post # 3
I actually want my mom and dad walk me down together but worry ppl may think i am nut
Post # 4
I like the idea of your mom joining you and your brother at the altar. It seems like a very fair compromise, and your mom is still included. In the end, it is your choice, and you want to be happy with it!
@gpiglet: I had my mom and dad walk me down the aisle – I don’t think anyone thought it was too out there at all. Also, too bad if they did, because that was what I wanted! 🙂
Post # 5
@gpiglet: you can want what you want and should be confident in your decision. Who cares what other people think! It’s your day! If I had a dad the decision would be easy…
Post # 6
@TrueToSelf: Have you thought about maybe having your brother walk down the aisle, as you had always imagined, and then giving your mum the other important role of witnessing your marriage (i.e. signing the certificate)?
Post # 7
Either way. I always think it is endearing when multiple people walk the bride down the aisle. It shows that there are many people important to the bride!!
Post # 8
I like the idea of your mom meeting you and your brother at the end and giving you away. It sounds like a great compromise and that way your mom can enjoy being able to actually see you walking down the aisle and you’ll get to appreciate the pride and love in her face when she does (if you can take your eyes off your FI). 🙂
Post # 9
First skip the veil. Second have your mom escorted down the aisle- this is her moment. Create a wedding program so everyone knows it’s your mom amd the escort name. Third let your brother walk you down the aisle. When it comes time for the officiant to ask who gives you away your brother can responds “her mother and I do” or your mother can rise and in unison with your brother say “we do” or the officiant can ask your entire side to give you away.
My dad choose not to come to my wedding and my mom thought she would walk me down the aisle. For awhile I liked the idea, but nixed it when it just all seemed silly to me. My brother even thought he was going to do it at one point. I walked by myself. Our officiant asked the communal/ my side to give me away.
Post # 10
Thank you for all of your help… I sat and watched about 2 hours of videos of different people walking down the aisle and pictures too and have made my decision. My brother will be walking me down the aisle where my mom will join us when we reach her seat. she will walk the last two steps or so to the alter where they both will answer we do. she will unveil me while my brother shakes my FI’s hand then he will hand me off to him. I finally feel like a bride now and walk around my house with our chosen song (a thousand years) playing in my head! lol