who signs the thank you?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: who signs the thank you?
    just the bride : (35 votes)
    49 %
    bride and groom : (37 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    42522 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @future_mrs_m:  Traditionally the gifts are for the bride to help her set up a home, so the bride signed her name only.

    I would take my cue from the card. If it was addressed only to you, sign your name.

    If the card was addressed to the two of you, sign both names.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    A “traditonal” Shower is thrown in honour of the Bride-2B… so she should be the one to sign the Thank You Notes.

    IF a Couples Shower is thrown, and gifts then are given to “the couple”… then the TY Notes should have BOTH Names.

    Same with a Wedding Present… they can be written by EITHER the Bride or Groom, but should have BOTH names.

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Traditionally, you  sign any letter you write and your FI signs any letter he writes, individually.  Sentiment can be from both of you, for example,   “John and I want to thank you for sharing our wedding day and for the beautiful …etc.”. Personally,  I sign my own name on everything but greeting cards.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    4941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @future_mrs_m:  Since it’s for your bridal shower, sign them just as yourself. For the actual wedding I wrote out our thank you cards, but signed them as from DH and myself. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1526 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I signed both our names because the gifts will be used by both of us. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsBaldEagle:  +1 I wrote out the thank yous, but I did say “we love the ____ and are looking forward to using it” and then FI signed his name (he likes signing his name himself rather than have me do it for him, lol) 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    2571 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @MrsBaldEagle:  +1 I wrote out the thank yous, but I did say “we love the ____ and are looking forward to using it” and then FI signed his name (he likes signing his name himself rather than have me do it for him, lol) 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Topics like these are why people are confused about etiquette.  In order from traditional to more liberal and relaxed:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/12/books/review/12REEDL.html?pagewanted=print&_r=0

    “Further, I will write them on engraved letter paper (there is, in Miss Manners’s world, no such thing as a thank-you note) and I will sign them with my name only (”otherwise, the day will come when Mrs. Awful starts signing her letters ‘Love from Kimberly, Rhino, Lisa, Adam, Jason, Kristen and Fido,’ and at least one of them is not going to have authorized the sentiment”).”

    http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/after-the-wedding

    “Thank You Notes, like any other social correspondence, are personal messages written by one person. The Thank You Notes you write may be written on behalf of you and your husband, but they are still written by you and you alone. Therefore, only your monogram appears on them. Likewise, you sign just your name at the end of your note.”

    http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/228671/tips-writing-thank-you-notes/@center/272425/wedding-registry-adviser#102906

    “It is customary for just one person to write and sign each note, mentioning his or her spouse’s appreciation (“Karen and I want to thank you…. Love, David”). However, coauthored notes, signed by both the bride and groom, are also acceptable.”

    On the more modern and liberal side the new Emily Post also says that the couple can both sign.  

    It’s not the case the the couple must both sign and is even considered incorrect in finicky circles.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

    Unless your future hubby is there too, only you sign it

    Post # 13
    Member
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Interestingly, the original Emily Post has the bride not only signing thank you letters from herself and herself exclusively, but addressing them to the wife only!  The husband would be referred to, as in “David and I would like to thank you and Victor for…”  but the letter itself would be addressed to Mrs. Victor Smith.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Since it’s shower I would sign it just from yourself. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We had a wedding shower so we were both there so we both signed the cards, however, I wrote them all.

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