Post # 1
Had a meeting with the BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor and was surprised when one of the BMs stated everyone should say something at the wedding reception. I always assumed that would just be the best man toasting, maybe the Maid/Matron of Honor, and father of the bride (possibly). I see no need for every bridesmaid or groomsmen to say something. When I said that no one would be speaking besides the Maid/Matron of Honor and best man, she “jokingly” said they would sneak a mic in. Other BMs also felt like they should say something. My Fiance also agrees that only the best man and the Maid/Matron of Honor should be able to speak at the reception. He doesn’t even want them to speak at the rehearsal dinner. His response was “Why do they all need to talk?” What is usually traditional?
Post # 3
I’ve been to weddings where just the best man & Maid/Matron of Honor give speaches, and I’ve been to them where everyone does it.
The one I went too where everyone gave a speach made it really long and boring for the guest, there were about 8 people who stood up, and each of them took a few minutes and only talked about inside jokes with the bridal party. It was about a half hour of awkwardness and eventually most of the guests ignored the speaches at the end.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It can get really boring for guests if lots of people speak. If more people have things to say, they can do it at the rehearsal dinner. Many people have an open mic at the rehearsal dinner (provided it’s not in a restaurant) for anyone to speak.
We had speeches by the FoB, MoH, Bridesmaid or Best Man, and groom + the FoG gave the blessing. That took long enough. I can’t imagine having asked my guests to sit through much more.
Post # 5
I’ve been to weddings that had an “open mic” for everyone who wanted to speak. I found that it slowed the reception down a bit, since it can go on for a while and it’s not like anyone can dance, or even have a conversation, while the series of toasts are going.
We did this at our rehearsal dinner instead, and loved it. After dinner, my Father-In-Law spoke, and then my dad, and brother, and the best man, and Maid/Matron of Honor, and me, and Darling Husband and a couple others. It was smaller, and more intimate, and was perfect for us.
Some people really love having all the speeches at the wedding. I preferred the rehearsal dinner. People do want to have a chance to speak openly how they feel about you, and it really is lovely, so just decide when and where, and let them.
(And then record it! We didn’t record ours, and I wish we had)
Post # 6
Our best people spoke, and so did my dad. We gave a little two second thank you, otherwise, the rest of the speeches (one of my bridesmaids, one of my husbands groomsmen, and my MIL) were during the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
PS, if you need leverage against your Fiance to convince him not to do it at the wedding, you can always show him the reception open mic scene from Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1.
Post # 8
I haven’t been to too many weddings, but I don’t think there is a set pattern. It’s whatever the couple wants.
Post # 9
@T-Rex: I definitely think it would make the reception long and boring if there were an “open mic”. That would take forever. I’m not trying to bore people. They will already have to sit through the father/daughter dance, mother/groom dance, first dance.
@mrsSonthebeach: I think having an open mic at the rehearsal dinner might be a great idea. And the Fiance is with me on not having an open mic.
@ProfessorGirl: I understand people want to speak about how they feel about us but we’re having an engagement party, bridal shower, bacholerette party, there will be plenty of times to speak outside of the reception. I am no a big fan of speeches but I think the rehearsal dinner might be the best route especially since it will be so intimate. And I will try to record it for prosperity!
@madger: I really hope my father does speak. It would mean a lot.
Post # 10
If we do the traditional wedding route, I would have Fh and I stand up and thank everyone for coming and that would be it.
Post # 11
Most weddings I’ve been to have just had speeches from the couple, parents and best people. I have been to one that had an open mic and I actually thought it was really nice, but I think part of that was that particular crowd. Do what you want and your bridesmaids will get over it!
Post # 12
I have been to a few weddings where everyone had something to say *YAWN* most of the guests ignored everythign and were looking really bored and quite fatigued.
For our wedding i’d be lucky for the groom to stand up and say thanks lol
Post # 13
I would let anyone speak that wants to say something. It’s not about all the guests. I think you should appreicate that they want to say something to you and your Fiance. Even if it is all inside jokes. I actually think it’s rude that you would ask them to be your BM’S but they are not important enough to have two or three minutes to say a few words?
Post # 14
No one. My reception will be absolutely silent.
Post # 15
I think the Maid/Matron of Honor, Bridesmaid or Best Man, and parent(s)
Post # 16
@Candace From BC: How is it rude? I don’t mind them saying a few words at the rehearsal dinner which I think is much more appropriate and intimate. You would have an open mic and that is your personal preference, just because I differ doesn’t make it rude.
@peachacid: LOL. No.
@justvonne: Thanks. That’s what direction we are going in.