(Closed) Who starts the fights?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who usually starts the fights in your relationship?
    I do : (48 votes)
    68 %
    He does : (7 votes)
    10 %
    We both do : (16 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    I’m totally with you mrsbee! I almost always start the fights, but it’s because HE did something wrong! Haha.

    Post # 4
    Member
    596 posts
    Busy bee

    I agree with the both of you!  Haha…women can’t help being more sensitive. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 6
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    those poll results are nuts! 

    Is it because guys avoid conflict, or because we just pick fights?  Ooooh boy, now I’m feeling a little guilty about picking all the fights.  We girls can be such drama queens!

    Post # 7
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Our "fights’ are mostly one of us feeling personally attacked. He’ll say something and I’ll take it the wrong way or vice versa. We’re not being mean intentionally. How we respond to each other is greatly dependent on hormones and who’s having a bad week. For instance, my FI is flying in for Easter. I told him that Friday would be *our* day, and Saturday/Sunday would be family and friends day. Great. He heard Friday/Sunday is family day. Well, I planned for lunch and dinner for us Friday, a quiet night in, some movies, etc, and then planned a surprise birthday thing for HIM on Saturday, which includes baseball tickets so he can see all his friends. And of course, Sunday is easter with his family. So i was thinking "omg we don’t get to spend quality time together, wtf!" Well, he planned a bunch of stuff with his family for Friday and Sunday b/c he assumed Saturday was going to be *our* day when in actuality I made it all about him and his friends. Miscommunication? Of course. But it bothered me (more so than usual that month, and you can guess why) that he didn’t set aside a specific "date" time for us! He ended up finding out about his surprise party on Saturday and shuffled around things so we could have "us" time on Friday. He knew it bothered me, realized that the thing i was planning Saturday was for him, not us, and fixed it. It all ended well, but it was hard trying to explain to him that Saturday was not "Date Night" for us, while keeping it from him!

    Wow sorry if that was super confusing! Just a typical example. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I do.  He never gets mad at me.  He’s so easy going and laid back so I feel like I never do anything wrong! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 9
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I definitely start almost all of our arguments.  I’m much more sensitive and high-strung and he’s much more laid-back.

    Post # 10
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    He does, but he doesn’t mean to. When he drinks, he likes to get in to these deep discussions about important things. When i drink, I giggle and sing along to whatever music is in my head. When we both drink too much, he starts a discussion, which, in my buzzy happy state, I am in no mood to have. Insta-fight. I don’t like important things invading my happy place…

    Post # 11
    Member
    380 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    definately me! He does not like to fight and prefers to let everything go.. then I pick at it and pick at it.. and then he’ll argue with me a little and then just let it go and pretend nothing happened.. lol it’s frustrating sometimes beacause he is not confrontational at all. Like if he needs to confront someone else he usually won’t until the "right moment" presents itself. Then I get annoyed that he hasn’t done it already ..lol

    Post # 12
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    we dont fight but i do get moody and snappy and he has banned coke/cola from the house as as sugar makes me bitch at him for very little reason.

    thankfully my FI is very easy going so he usually either tells me to go have a nap or goes to his workshop and makes alot of noise until im over it.  Since ive given up most of the sugar stuff (and lost 40lbs while im at it) ive noticed ALOT less mood swings which makes a happier home

    Post # 13
    Member
    1573 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    we don’t fight we just disagree sometimes cant call it fighting really

    Post # 14
    Member
    700 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My FI is under the impression that if he doesn’t address an issue, it will disappear.

    Considering that I’m overly verbose and obsessive compulsive, I always want to hash things out.  

    So, I usually don’t do anything that causes an argument, but I definitely am a proactive fighter!  ๐Ÿ™‚  

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I think I do. The only fights he starts is when he gets mad that I havent cleaned up the kitchen or something. We have very differing views on cleanliness and neatness. He sees mail on the counter as untidy and annoying. I see a completely empty counter as weird and un homely. Same goes for bathrom vanity and the top of my dresser!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1357 posts
    Bumble bee

    I definately do. 99.9% of the time. ๐Ÿ™‚

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