Post # 1
As in, who does the cooking/cleaning? FI has gotten BAD about helping around the house. I do all of the cooking, which is great becasue I enjoy it, but when it comes to housework he thinks he’s doing me a huge favor when he takes his wet washcloth to the laundry room. Seriously.
I don’t expect him to do a lot, but is it crazy that I want him to WANT to help do some of the household chores? When I ask him to do something he does it without complaing (it just takes him a while to actually get up and do it!)
I guess I’m just frustrated because I don’t feel like I should have to ask him to contribute. When I bring this up, his solution is for me to hire a maid so that I won’t have to do it either. I refuse!!! Growing up, our family always joked about hiring a maid, but it was out of the question for financial reasons. Now that it would be possible, the idea offends me.
Does your relationship have a good balance when it comes to this, or is my FI just “normal”? Lol
Post # 3
He cooks, does the dishes, takes out the trash, and cleans the bathroom. I clean and vacuum the rest of the house, and do the dishes half of the time. We split things fairly fifty fifty. Except the cooking, he does all the cooking 🙂 I got lucky!
Oh and I’m apparently not allowed to do the laundry, so he does all that.
Post # 4
@squigglybaby: FI does almost all of the cooking, and I do dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. This is a totally fair trade for me, as I hate cooking and can’t be bothered ;P
Post # 5
We split chores and errands 50/50 for the most part!
Post # 6
My FI does about 60% of the day-to-day chores (and is the undisputed chef of the household), but I’m trying to catch up!
Post # 7
I do 100%, but I’m going to be a SAHM, so I think he likes to know that I can take care of the house and work 55 hrs/wk without complaining! (obviously kids will be WAY more hours, but it’s the premise)
Post # 8
He does pretty much all of the cleaning. I sometimes do the laundry and generally pick up after us, but no scrubbing/washing/vacumming. He’s way more picky than I am about cleanliness, so it tends to fall to him. He would come behind me and redo everything anyway when I cleaned, so now… he just does it.
I do all the cooking (including packing lunches for both of us, and making dinner round II if he works an afternoon shift) and anything that would be considered an “errand” (grocery shopping, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, banking, gift getting etc.)
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s offensive to hire a maid. It’s a job that people do to help support their families, too. If you can afford it and don’t want to do the work yourself, there’s nothing wrong with giving someone money to bring home for doing something they don’t mind doing.
However, FI and I are pretty good at splitting the chores except he does a bit more and we hire a cleaning service to come in every once in a few weeks to go over things and to keep us from having to deep clean every week. I would like the place to be cleaner, but I prefer to spend my free time doing something fun instead. When we can afford it, I plan on bringing a lady on a weekly basis.
Post # 10
@squigglybaby: Mostly me, but FH helps out sometimes. He does the cooking though. That’s mainly because he’s finicky about his food and I’m happy with just soup for dinner. Sometimes I wish it was split more evenly, but he’s a super procrastinator..and if I give him something to do I have to nag and remind him for days to actually get it done. It’s less stressful just to do it myself.
Post # 11
@futuremrsk18: I worded that wrong in my OP! I guess “offensive” isn’t the correct word. I hadn’t looked at it as helping someone support their family (How narrow minded am I being?!) Mostly I was just venting because FI used to be so good about helping out and I got accustomed to it. I honestly think he could live in a pigsty and not notice. Grrr 🙂
Post # 12
DH does the vast majority of the grocery shopping and the cooking. I handle the vast majority of the kitchen clean up. I do the laundry and clean the house. DH takes out the trash and mows the lawn.
Post # 13
we split everything depends on the work schedule his main things he likes to do is the dishes laundry and vaccum i organize cook and pickup. Some days we switch off he really is my rock!
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
He cooks and does the dishes / kitchen cleaning. I do the laundry and general picking up. The deep cleaning is shared but I do more (70-30ish). I can’t complain!
Post # 15
I do. My husband deploys a lot so I can’t delegate chores to him. He works. I maintain the house. That’s our agreement.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Ps – I agree with PPs that having someone come clean your house occasionally sounds awesome. Once we have two incomes, hell yeah. It might be snooty to have a live-in maid, but having occasional help is totally normal and reasonable.