(Closed) who throws my shower and backelorette?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Usually its the Maid/Matron of Honor. For myself my Maid of Honor is my cousin who is a younger single mum so she is doing the Lingerie Shower and Bridal Shower (you dont really have to spend money planning these) and my “head” bridesmaid is doing my Bachlorette (usually some money spending involved) as she is in a more financially stable place. As for knowing whats going on i just try to make sure i am communicating with them and they are communicating with eachother.

Post # 4
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s typically your Maid/Matron of Honor or someone from your bridal party. I have also been to showers hosted by sisters and aunts (and other family members).

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Do you have a bridal party?  Usually the bridal party offers to throw you one or both of these…I just threw a shower for my Future Sister-In-Law and I’m a bridesmaid in her wedding.  I guess I thought the bp just knew it was one of their traditional duties, and I felt obligated to do my part?

I would ask your mom to feel out family and family friends if she thinks someone might like to host your shower.  I would definitely feel awkward asking someone myself!  If you really don’t care, though…I would just let it go.  When people ask, you can say “I don’t know; I might forgo this tradition.”

For the bachelorette, it would be less awkward for you to just host it yourself if you want one, or maybe your bridal party will do it.  Again, it’s weird to ask someone to throw you a party.  Maybe they are trying to surprise you?

Post # 6
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Do you have a bridal party? They should know it’s their job. 🙂

Post # 7
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just feel out your bridesmaids a bit and see if they have something planned.  People don’t always realize they need to do it.  Once of my BMs thought (for some reason) that the mother of the bride does the shower.  Just tell them people keep asking you about the shower and bach party, and you’d like to be able to give them some basic info.  Generally the bride knows at least the dates of the two, and also usually the guest list.

Post # 8
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the others, I’m helping a bit with my bachelorette since we’re going to Vegas (ie. expensive and a bit more planning involved) and my mom is helping the bridesmaids with my shower financially since they are all in school still 

Post # 9
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I ran into something similiar.  I’ve never been a bridesmaid and have only been to one bridal shower in the last 10 years so I wasn’t sure who would typically host the shower.  On top of that, my Maid/Matron of Honor lives out of the country and won’t be able to fly back to the U.S. until the week before our wedding.

Luckily my Maid/Matron of Honor and I are incredibly close so I finally just asked her who usually throws it and whether I should be doing anything to assist.  She has since taken the lead and has reached out to my mom, mother-in-law to be, and other bridesmaids to at least help with what she can from Belgium.  I’m not sure who will offficially be listed as “hosting” my shower but I’m so grateful my Maid/Matron of Honor has stepped up to get the ball rolling.

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