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My advice is to pick those who are closest to you and try to keep the bridal party as small as possible. The more girls you have = more opinions and that much more difficult to organize events, getting dresses and all. The girls that are closest are also least likely to disappoint you (depending on what your expectations of bridesmaids are).
I agree that you should pick those closest to you, and don't worry about different stages of life. If you truly can't decide and don't want nine, you always have the option of making it family only- your sisters, FSIL, and niece, and making sure your friends are included in other parts of the wedding.
I ended up with 6 BMs and everyone said it was too many, but so far it has been wonderful and I have no regrets. I've seen people with more BMs than 9 so do whatever you and your FI are most comfortable with :) Also, I picked a color and designer and allowed my ladies to pick their own style and I am thrilled with the result, so if you do have a large party there's an idea to keep everyone happier.
Pick the ones clostest to you and maybe have the others be hostesses or another role in your wedding.
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Hi Bees! Although I have been an avid reader of all of the helpful blogs on this site, this is my first post so please bear with me! Anyhow, I have been mulling this decision over in my head for months now, and have been putting off asking anyone to be in my bridal party until I know exactly what I want to do. Here is the breakdown: I have two sisters, both of whom will be my matrons of honor. Then I planned on asking friends I have from various "stages" of my life: Best friend from childhood, best friend from high school, best friend from college, best friend from after college. In addition to those friends, I plan on asking my fiance's sister as well. My niece, who will be 15 at the time, will also be a part of the party. So in total that is 7 girls, which sounded like a perfect number to me. Then I got to thinking about other girls that I would also love to ask. Two of my closest friends from college (who I still see as often as our crazy scedules allow) are possibilities. I always pictured asking them but am afraid that having 9 girls in my bridal party scares me a bit! I could ask one and not both of them, but then I'd be afraid of hurt feelings. Has anyone else had to deal with this? And if so, what words of wisdom can you provide this newbie bride-to-be with? Thank you!!!