(Closed) Who to invite…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

for the married ones, it is rude to not invite the husbands.  For the ones dating, its not THAT rude depending on situation.  If they live together or are engaged or been together for years, it can be upsetting.  You can say that dure to venue size it doesnt allow for the +1s of anyone but married and engaged couples.  Its tough, Id invite them all +1…

Post # 4
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would think that if you invited a married friend that you should invite their spouse.  I honestly wouldn’t go if my husband wasn’t invited, but that’s just me.  Sometimes in situations like this you have to put the shoe on the other foot so to speak.  And for your friends that just have boyfriends you don’t even need to put a +1 if you don’t want.

Post # 5
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

if they’re married or seriously seeing someone, it would be weird to not invite their significant others. if space is an issue, could you wait to see if any of the oot guests respond no to the std (we had some of those) before you send the local stds out?

Post # 6
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I understand your predicament as we have a small guest list as well (75 are expected to come), but it would defintely be rude to not invite the husbands. If the boyfriends are serious, or the couple lives together, you need to invite them as well. We didn’t allow plus one’s for our guests that were in casual relationships, new relationships or single and just needed a date. So THAT you could get away with, but married couples and those in serious relationships need to be invited as a couple.

Can you trim down your guest list anywhere else? Maybe Great Aunt Mildred who you haven’t seen in years and never talk to? Or, if you really want to invite them (which is sounds like you should!), just consider adding another table, and assume that some people won’t come. Even with a very small guest list (we actually invited 100 people), we had a 75 percent acceptance rate, so keep that in mind as well.

Post # 7
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I could see not inviting boyfriends/girlfriends, but I think it’s different with married couples.  I’d think it was a little weird that my husband was invited to a wedding and I was not.  I think if you want to invite your friends, then you probably have to include their spouses.  Like Miss Chapstick suggested, you might be able to make some cuts elsewhere if you really want your friends there.

FWIW, I wanted to invite some of my grad school friends (whom I met after I had already gotten engaged), but our numbers just didn’t allow it.  I was kinda bummed but they totally understood–and even threw a little Girls Night for me anyway.  If you can’t include your school friends, they’ll probably understand why.

Post # 8
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have you taken into account the ‘declines’ yet? Assuming at least 10% of your guests can’t make it, would that open up room for your new friends?

Post # 9
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Spouses, definitely not.  It’s kind of wierd to celebrate marriage by separating a married couple!  Dating, it depends on the relationship, but it would be nice to invite an established couple together.

Post # 10
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What if you got them together and asked them if they would mind coming solo?  They’d all know each other, you could seat them together, and maybe it could be a fun girl’s thing for them?  You never know, they might be find with it.

Post # 12
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I agree with the previous posters- I think you need to invite the husbands. However, I’m pretty sure that you don’t add “And Guest” to the save the dates. Those should only be in the name of your single friends. (Married couples would be “Mr & Mrs” on both the save the dates and invites.)”And guest” would be added to the actual invites. Since your wedding is so far away, you never know if those girls will all be with their boyfriends. By the time you send out your invites, some of them might be single. Or some other friends might be single, freeing up room in the invite list.

Post # 13
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree that you would need to invite your friends’ SOs. As long as your friends aren’t OOT guests, you could probably get away without sending them STDs at all. For my grad school friends (and my FI’s coworkers, who are also local), we aren’t sending STDs – just the regular invites. In the meantime, you & your family should keep in touch with the OOT guests so you can try to figure out who won’t be able to make it before you need to send out the invites.

Post # 14
Member
48 posts
Newbee

I think if you have a group of friends and you explain the situation and all the women come without dates it would be ok. Personally, if for some reason i was invited to a wedding without FI but I had a bunch of girl friends who were also there alone, I wouldn’t really care. Might even be fun!

Post # 15
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with Juniper22.  I think if you told talked to them all together about it, they could plan and make it a “girls’ night”!  As long as they are all friends with eachother, it could be an awesome time!

The topic ‘Who to invite…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors