Who to invite?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite my estranged family members?
    Yes it is the right thing to do : (6 votes)
    35 %
    No you should reconnect at another time : (10 votes)
    59 %
    Other (comment below) : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    667 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @jennify:  This is a tough one without more information — do you have room in your budget/at the venue to accomodate them?

    My vote would be to invite them. They are family afterall. They may decline, but its a nice gesture.

    Post # 4
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    At the least, I would invite his brothers over his first wife and her children. Would your mother mind having his first wife there? Maybe you should run it past her. I don’t think you’re obligated in any way to invite them.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    You say you think it’s something you “should” do, but you never say it’s something you want to do.  Do want these people at your wedding?  Do you want them to be there for such an important day in your life?  How would you feel if one of them got married and didn’t invite you?  These are all important questions to ask yourself about your relationship (or lack of relationship) with them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @jennify:  Have any of them had a wedding yet? If they invited you.. just trying to gauge. What about any other important life events? Do they ever invite you? Not because it’s tit for tat, but because it gives you a good guage of how they view your relationship with them and whether or not it’s worth it to invite them for the budget. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I have something sort of similar with cousins who we have not been close to since their father (my dad’s brother) passed. We see them on occassion (usually funerals) and always say we need to get together more- so that’s why I’m inviting them. Plus they enjoy spending time with my other cousins who live in the area and will be invited. 

    It’s a little stressful since our budget is tight but I don’t think I’ll regret sending the invitation. If you have the money and space I think it’s a good idea. 

    I may also have a casual get together with that side of the family the night before the wedding so we can have a more intimate gathering. 

    Regarding the sister I will say this. One of my cousins told me that his brother has a harder time getting involved with our side of the family because he feels that my parents/aunts/uncles abondoned them as children. Well, his mother moved a ten-hour drive away and my parents had their own marital issues. But just because they weren’t the best doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy seeing my cousins when they come, and I certainly had nothing to do with that and I love catching up with them. 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Oh well in my cousins cases I was invited to some of their weddings. One eloped and one got married when we were all somewhat distant. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    808 posts
    Busy bee

    To be honest, I think you’ll be so busy that you won’t be able to talk to them much at the wedding so a less pressured environment (like a coffeeshop) could be preferable anyway.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @jennify:  I think at this point you should just not invite them. If you don’t really feel a want to have them there then you shouldn’t. The only people I would say that maybe you should still consider are your dad’s brothers. 

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors