Who to invite to Bridal Shower?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I send FI's OOT aunt's & cousins invites?
    yes, you dont want to hurt feelings : (6 votes)
    86 %
    no, thats being gift grabby : (1 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8018 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Well… etiquette is clear that it is the very definition of “gift grabby” to throw yourself a shower- so you shouldnt be inviting anyone!

    In general, I think courtesy invites are nice. No one is going to drive a full day for a shower unless they’re your BFF, so its fine to invite people as a symbolic gesture of inclusion, knowing they likely wont come.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    42469 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    theEguarantee:  I am assuming that someone else is hosting the shower and asking you for a guest list .(I think most Bees will assume the same).

    Have you asked FI’s Mom what she recommends? She will know how her family members are likely to react.

    Post # 5
    Member
    8018 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    theEguarantee:  haha good. Well I say yes- send an invite! My girlfriends across the country invite me to all their parties, showers, etc just so that I know I am included if I can make it- I love getting them, makes me feel special!

    I say send them all invites, they;ll understand theres no pressure to come.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I had this same problem.. FHs family are 2500+ miles away, so obviously they won’t be able to come.

    I asked FMIL how she felt about it, and she told me that I should invite them, and include a note that says something about all that we ask if your presence or something. She thought that some of the women on FH’s side may be a little put off if we don’t invite them.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8018 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    theEguarantee:  I feel like “gift grabby” is a fear that only exists on WB… (unless youre putting registry with wedding invites or something)..

    But shower invites… all ladies Ive ever know in real life have reacted… “oh how nice, ____is having a shower”. And then did whatever their heart was inclined to do regarding a gift or not. I have never heard “that little greedy grabber is only getting married for presents!!”. That reaction would be way less classy than a long distance shower invite.

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