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Bachelorette parties are less formal that bridal showers, so the rule about not inviting anyone who isn't invited to the wedding is relaxed. At a bachelorette party it's the more the merrier.
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I think Niki is right, that the rules are probably more relaxed because unlike a shower where the whole point is for people to bring gifts (and how awful is it to expect people to bring you gifts who were not invited to the wedding), at a bachelorette, everyone is supposed to go out for a good time. I think it is particularly understandable if you invite more people to a local bachelorette than to a small, destination wedding. So, IMO, you should invite anyone you would be comfortable having with you.
I agree with the previous posters. Invite whomever you want to your bachelorette! The people not invited to the wedding will understand that you are having a small destination wedding and be happy to celebrate with you. If you are worried that they will feel slighted, don't invite them to the bachelorette either.
As long as there is no "gift giving" involved, there is nothing wrong with inviting whoever you want. As soon as you add a registry card to an invitation or a byline reading the brides sizes, you should prob reconsider... Especially since you are having a DW and many people will not be attending the actual wedding anyways.
I can't count how many bachelorette parties I've been to where I wasn't a guest at the wedding. In my circle, and I don't know if this holds true everywhere, it's a "more the merrier" attitude, and everyone splits the cost of the drinks, spa day, or whatever kind of shindig it happens to be for the bride--no gifts, but the bride also doesn't pay for anything.
I agree about it being less formal than a shower as far as who is invited.
But I wouldn't invite friends or work friends that aren't invited to the wedding as long as they know ahead of time.
My wedding was tight and my co-workers knew it so it wasn't awkward come invitation time.
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I think it's okay to invite as many people as you want to the bachelorette party; I agree with other posters that it's less formal. But, I would feel weird inviting people that weren't invited to the wedding - I mean, we'll probably spend some amount of time talking about the wedding, and I would feel rude talking about it in front of someone who wasn't invited. I just asked my bridesmaids to invite my friends and future sisters-in-law who are invited to the wedding.
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I thought it was etiquette to only invite those girls who are 1) invited to the wedding and 2) your close friends to the bachelorette party.
Well, I was talking with my best friend/bridesmaid about it and she said she did't know that! She said she went to her roomate's best friends bachelorette party and wasn't invited to the wedding and didn't think it was weird at all.
I'm staying in Chicago for mine and we're getting a hotel and going to the beach and a Cubs game and there are a few girsl, such as my best friend's roomate, whom I really like but am not close enough with to invite to our small destination wedding. Best friend/bridesmaid said it would be totally fine to invite her. (she also happens to be helping me with invitations cause she lives with my best friend and will be there when we are doing it and really wants to help)
What do you think? And what about some of my other work friends? (I have only been at my current job for 6 months)
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