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Ouch.
I don't think there's any way around it - you've got to send an invite to everyone who received a save-the-date.
IMO you have to send an invite to everyone you sent a save the date to. Now... I'm not sure if you have to send a save the date to everyone you plan to send an invite to (you probably should... but not sure). There are some people that I *have* to invite to my wedding that I"m hoping won't come... so I will prob just send them and invite and not give them the 8 month notice :)
proper etiquette is that you should send invitations to those you sent save the dates to, even if you don't want them to come/they probably won't come.
We're sending invites to everyone that got stds..but also adding invites to some people that didn't get stds (some people didn't need them and wouldn't have understood what it was). I'm giving normal invites to family whom I don't think will come because I know they will appreciate the gesture, but if you're really worried about it, you could maybe send them an announcement instead?
@Corgi - I think it's one of those "all squares are rectangles, not all rectangles are squares" things. Everyone who gets an STD is supposed to get an invite, but there's no need to send an STD to a person who will be invited, but doesn't need one. I think?
eeek. I guess you were really excited about your save the dates and wanted to send them to everyone :) I think you have to send invitations to everyone who got a save the date though.
I think you need to send an invite to anyone you sent a save the date to. We recently sent out our STDs and I purposely did not send it to a few people that I am undecided about inviting (and they are also not close with others who DID get STDs, so they wouldn't realize that they didn't receive one.)
Proper etiquette says that whomever is on your save the date list gets an invite and vice versa. People will surprise you and show up if they really want to be there. Don't assume anything. Either invite these people because you want them there or don't but don't make assumptions based on what you think they will do.
Ditto PPs - everyone who got an STD (hehe) must get an invite, regardless of whether you think they will come.
Pretty much, the people who got a STD MUST also receive an invitation. Think about it this way... with the STD, you have already asked people to hold the date of your wedding. So it's not really fair to then not send them an actual invitation. If you think a lot of these people won't attend, then you're probably right. But they still absolutely need to receive a formal invitation.
Er. I'm actually a tad confused about what you're asking us.
I would say if you sent someone a Save The Date you most definitely should send them an invite unless you know for a fact they will not be coming.
We are sending Save The Dates to all out of town guests and the "English speaking more Americanized" guests in NYC as well. Haha. The others would just be like what the heck is it and what does it say? The non English speaking guests will get the invites only and they're primarily aunts and uncles and close family friends. So I know most likely they will be coming and if not only a handful and it's not like they have to travel in.
If you sent someone a save the date, barring extreme circumstances, they should get an invite. Period.
Even if you think they won't come, they get an invite ESPECIALLY if you sent an STD. if you didn't want them there, why were they on the STD list?
Unfortunately, since you sent them a save the date, you should definitely invite them.
If you are going to be proper about it, you have to invite all the same people. The STD is advance notice so they clear the calendar. The only way around it, as I see it, is to contact the people you don't want to invite and tell them that you are sorry you sent the STD and that you are unable to invite them to the wedding. (But, that's certainly not 'proper etiquette')
Agreeing on all counts... you CANNOT not send an invite to someone who got a save-the-date.
I even sort of wish we didn't do them... some people we were iffy about inviting but ended up deciding to were all "oh... well we didn't get your STD so..." feelings can easily get hurt. If you don't think they'll come, oh well, waste the few $$ on them for the invite!
We are only going to send out 100 STDs while we are inviting about 185 SO it means a lot of people wont be getting a save the date, but were doing this as a way to hopefully cut down the number!!! Our venue only holds 150 and FMILs list continues to grow!!! (it went from 60 to 84 overnight)
oK so the I's have it ..lol...I guess i should just start praying Now , that they don't all come..( i don't think all of them will come , but praying that ..never hurt..) ..
Thanks guys for the help. And yes i was eager to send the save the dates out...i was sooo proud , i wanted the world to see :) hahaha
Hey Brattkatt, I know you've already realized you need to send them all invites since they got a STD, but try not to worry too much about it. It's rare people go to a wedding just b/c they were invited and since the economy is so bad anyone from OOT or who isn't that close to you anymore will most likely RSVP no, assuming the OOT'ers aren't close family, etc.
Good luck and breathe!
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I am sure someone out there must of had this same issue ..i hope cuz i need a solution ..lol...
So we mailed out our save the dates already ( around oct/nov) ..and in another couple months we are going to be sending out our invites...the prob..We don't want to invite the same pple...Don't get me wrong , the majority of the list is the same for both , but there are pple that i don't think will attend , some from out of state , others i'm just not close to, and don't really care if they come or not. So what do i do ? The out of staters are family and friends and the ones i don't care if they come are family , that could care less about . So not sure the proper ediquette for this is ? So if anyone has any words of wisdom for me ..it would be greatly appreciated .