Post # 1
Ok Bees i am sitting with a situation of who will walk me down the aisle. My father passed away 7 years ago so i have my mother and i am an only child. I asked my mother to walk me down the aisle but she refuses. She says that that will make it obvious to everyone she no longer has a partner and that she is too shy to walk me down the aisle. She says me and my hubby can walk down together. I also thought it was a nice idea, before i even asked my mum and i discussed it with him. He was not keen on it he wants the whole experience of seeing me walk down the aisle towards him. I respect that and do not want to take that away from him, its his day too. I am sure tho if i have no one to walk me, he will do it happily, but he wants to see me come towards him and i want him to have that. And i really also want to walk with my mum and i feel she should just do as i ask its our day. Ido not have anyone else to walk me. No brothers no grandfathers. I do have uncles and cousins but not close enough to them to walk me as i want it to be someone very special to me and not just someone i asked for the sake of it. What do you guys think i should do? Do you think im being to harsh for saying she should just do as i ask and walk me down the aisle? To be honest i feel quite hurt because as far as i know its an honor to walk your daughter down the aisle. Do you guys think she may have another reason for not wanting to walk me? The shy excuse does not seem legit, and we will have a small wedding where everybody knows about my dad. Perhaps she feels walking me will cause her emotional turmoil cos she knows it would have been my dad?
Post # 3
This is tough, but I think you should respect your mother’s decision not to walk you down the aisle. I’m sure she has her reasons, be it that she thinks it will be too emotionally painful or she doesn’t want to draw extra attention to the fact that her husband isn’t there.
I think you’re also right not to ask someone for the sake of it. Are there any female relatives or friends who you’re particularly close to? I don’t think you need to be limited to male relatives. If you really can’t think of a meaningful alternative, I would just walk solo down the aisle. Lots of brides choose to do this anyway, so it wouldn’t seem strange or anything.
Post # 4
@cadi12345: Hi there …. how lovely that your husband to be wants to see you coming down the aisle to him – how romantic! Weddings are such emotional events – she may be/ or may get/ upset that it should have been your dad – she could be anticipating floods of tears. There could even be a generational thing about that being your dad’s job and no one else’s. Is it worth asking her to go to the venue with you and just try walking together to see how she feels? If you practice a few times, it might give her time to come to terms with any issues she does have about your dad not being there and by the time the big day comes, she’ll be pleased she did it. x
Post # 5
I am sorry you are going through this..My dad commited suicide couple of years ago and it is a very traumatic experience for me that he wouldn’t be walking me down the aisle ..I always wanted that….but I have a brother who I love..and he agreed to do it for me even though he is a super shy kind..I can’t even imagine how hard it is on you…don’t know what to advice you though
Post # 6
I think you should respect both your mother’s and your fiance’s feelings and walk down the aisle alone, with him waiting at the end for you.
Post # 7
My father passed away when I was very young and I too am an only child. I’ve struggled with deciding who I want to walk me down the aisle. Part of me wants someone to walk with me (my mum/family member etc) another part of me thinks walking alone would be best and then like you, part of me would quite like to walk down with my fiancee.
I think if your mum really doesn’t want to do it, maybe don’t force her. She is probably feeling very emotional about the fact your father isn’t there to do it and may be worried she’ll get too tearful if she did it on the day with everyone watching her. However, I think you could still find a way of walking down the aisle with your fiancee if you think you would prefer this to walking alone…
I know your fiancee wants the experience of seeing you walk down the aisle and it’s very considerate of you to take his feelings about this on board. However, maybe you could suggest you could do a “first look” instead where the bride and groom see each other before walking down the aisle? Just type “first look wedding” into google images and you’ll get loads up – it can be an incredibly romantic and intimate thing to do. In fact it’s even more intimate than walking down the aisle in front of loads of people as it’s just the two of you. Then after your ‘first look’ you could both walk down the aisle togehter? This might be a nice way of giving you both what you want?
Something to remember is that whilst it’s his day too he has to appreciate that because your father isn’t there to walk you down the aisle it might be a difficult thing for you to walk down alone.
Hope that’s helped a little bit, let us know what you decide to do 🙂
Post # 8
@cadi12345: I would agree with PP, it is probably just a combination of emotions and a generational thing for your mom. I would respect her wishes. I really like the idea of you walking yourself down the aisle.
I am so sorry you lost your dad. It is not easy to lose a parent.
Post # 9
I walked alone and ended up really liking that. My father passed away a number of years ago and I really didn’t have anyone special that I wanted to walk me down. Figured it was better to do it myself than have some person I didn’t have that close relationship with.
We toyed with the idea of having FI come and meet me halfway and walk me the rest of the way, but ended up not doing that.
Post # 10
Walk halfway and have him meet you…that way you both (sort of) get what you want and have compromised for/with each other.
As for your mom, she is probably feeling the loss of your father more than ever with your wedding being planned. Please respect that she may not want all eyes on her at such a vulnerable moment…even if they are close family and friends.
Post # 11
Walk down the aisle alone. I did it and you can too! Just focus on him and you’ll be fine.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t force your mom, but let her know that the option is there if she decides to change her mind (which she may very well do at the last minute!).
If you decide to walk alone, maybe you could carry a special keepsake from your dad and/or mom with you/on your bouquet?
Post # 13
why dont you meet your FI halfway? Good compromise with him getting to see you walk toward him but then him giving you the support to take you the rest of the way.
Post # 14
You should walk alone if you feel brave enough!
If your mom isn’t comfortable doing it, don’t force her… If you aren’t close with your cousins or uncles, definitely don’t ask them. I think there’s so many traditions that put pressure on brides because they feel like they need to follow tradition or people will think it’s weird. Every bride and every wedding is different ! If you don’t have someone, then I would say just honour your dad in some way you feel appropriate and walk that aisle by yourself girl! Your mom and your hubby to be will be waiting up there for you 🙂
Post # 15
I was just in a Catholic wedding and they do it all solo. The groom and his men start at the end and the bridesmaids come in single-file. Then the bride enters alone. Everybody exits paired up.
Post # 16
Thanks for all the replies and advice, i really appreciate it, and you put everything in perspective. I think what ill do is maybe ask her once more closer to the time so she know the offer still stands, or have him meet me halfway. Maybe it also will not be so bad even to walk down alone, as it seems it is very common these days