Who typically hosts a Bridal Shower?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Bridesmaids, friends of the mother.  It’s okay if your aunts host it, but it looks a little gift grabby if your mom hosts it.

Post # 4
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Nobody’s really expected to host anything, it’s just whoever offers. In my circle it’s typically friends of the family and not bridesmaids –  I think an aunt is just fine. If your MOH is your sister and offers to throw you a shower, I think that is ok.

I think the line gets fuzzy when it is your mother hosting it, but I’m sure in some circles that is also ok, it just isn’t in mine. At all.

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If sisters are bridesmaids, than that’s fine. And I think anyone else outside of immediate family is also okay.

Basically, if they offer to host, then I’d be grateful and let them host.

Post # 6
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Anyone who offers to host. I’ve seen aunts do it, BMs do it and occasionally mothers do it.

Post # 7
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@alysee:  Pretty much anyone can throw you a shower except you, your mom, and probably FMIL.  I think sisters are ok so long as they are in the wedding party.

Post # 8
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Typically I’ve always seen BMs host it, regardless if they are family or not. My aunt has offered to host mine because my BMS are all away at school. 

Post # 9
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@alysee:  My sister and step-mom are hosting mine (my mother passed away when I was 20). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the mom or family hosting it – I have been to numerous bridal showers like that. 

Post # 10
Member
4043 posts
Honey bee

@alysee:  Honestly, as long as it isn’t you, I don’t see a problem. For one friend, her mother was the only family member in town that had the means/location and she didn’t have a wedding party. Nobody batted an eye or thought it was gift grabby. If the people you invite really care about you, then they really shouldn’t care. Besides, it is an event to receive gifts, hence the “shower” part…so I don’t really understand the whole concern about looking gift grabby if a family member hosts it. 

For my shower, my sister, who was my MOH, and one of my BMs hosted (though my mother covered most of the costs because my sister is still in college). 

Post # 11
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

My MOHs (cousin and BFF) are hosting one, which will probably be at my aunt’s house or the yacht club BFF’s parents belong to. My FSIL is hosting one for their side of the family and some friends which is being held at her church in a hall. Then some coworkers of mine also wanted to do something..so mine are all over the place.

I have heard family like your Mom or yourself should not host it, but I think everything else is okay. I’ve been to many where the aunt hosted.

Post # 12
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Almost every shower I’ve been to has been hosted by the mother, and I’ve been to like 20 showers.  I am wondering if part of that is because they are usually in restaurants and are expensive.

 

Post # 13
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Etiquette has changed on this quite a bit in recent years. It used to be that no one closely related to you would throw the shower, as it looked “gift-grabby.” It’s relaxed now, however; I’d say that the only person who absolutely should not throw you a shower, is you.

Post # 14
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@alysee:  My mom has hosted for my siblings and will host for me as well. It’s something she enjoys doing and it takes the pressure/costs off of everyone else. I think it’s a fine way to do it.

I hosted one for a friend before and I asked her mom to pitch in since I was the MOH and only BM.

Post # 16
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@alysee:  I think the official etiqute says not close family.  In this day and age, I think it’s fine as long as it’s not the bride or her mom.

In my family an aunt always hosts.  For many people it’s the bridesmaids.  I don’t think it’s really considered a big deal anymore if the bridesmaids are sisters.

I think it’s nice if an aunt/godmother/older person hosts as the bridesmaids are going to have to throw the bachelorette party.  Takes the pressure off of them to have someone else deal with the shower.

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