Who "waited" for whom? POLL

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Who waited for whom? You or SO/FI/H?
    I waited/am waiting for SO/H : (30 votes)
    38 %
    SO/H waited for me : (19 votes)
    24 %
    It was mutual. We were both "ready" to commit at the same time. : (30 votes)
    38 %
    I don't believe in commitments : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2549 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Even though I was a waiting bee, I didn’t consider myself waiting for him to be ready… it was more like waiting for him to buy the ring and propose.  We decided on a lot of wedding details early on when we were both “ready” for that kind of committment.  No one waited for anyone to be ready for marriage…  We actually started planning our wedding before he decided to officially propose.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1201 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: A very pretty church.

    Lol, he waited for years (wanted to jump the gun somewhat commitment-wise), then I waited for the ring 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Like PP, I wasn’t really waiting for DH to be ready for marriage, just waiting for him to buy the ring and pop the question. It was a short wait, about 2 months. I knew that once the ring was in hand, a proposal would be soon to follow, because this man often makes me open my Christmas present 2 weeks early. Before that, he was the one waiting while I debated with myself for a year on which ring I wanted!

    We have always been very open about our future plans with one another, and we communicate frequently on “next steps” such as marriage, kids, buying a house, etc. We’ve always been on the same page and I never experienced any moments where I was wondering if he wanted to marry me or when he was going to propose. We both agreed that we wanted to be at a certain comfort level financially and with our careers before we decided to get hitched, and so that’s what we did!

    Post # 5
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I definitely waited for him. He even told me he was never getting married earlier in our relationship. But since we were still both so young (early 20s) I didn’t feel like it was necessary to move on at that time. Fast forward 5 years and I’ve got a beautiful ring on my finger and we’ve set a date. Huge difference between then and now though. We’ve got great jobs and we own a house so it feels like a natural step now. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1473 posts
    Bumble bee

    We were ready at the same time. I had to wait for a proposal and had no idea when it was happening. It happened as soon as it made sense for us .

    Post # 7
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    We both knew from the beginning we would get married and about the time it would happen. If anything it was me who was hesitant to move forward, but I knew I wanted kids sooner rather than later and he wanted to be married first. There were discussions here and there about our plan and then one day we sat down and picked a date. I didn’t have to wait for a ring or proposal because there wasn’t one in the traditional sense.

    Post # 8
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee

    My FI was ready to get married wayyy before I was. We even broke up a couple of times because he was pressuring me for a comittment I wasn’t ready to make. I wanted to date for at least five years before getting engaged, but he was ready after about six months. I came around eventually and we got engaged right around the 2.5 year mark. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Technically, we’re both ready at the same time. Though, I feel like I might have been ready before him, but never mentioned anything about it.

    However, the ball is in his court now and I’m waiting on the ring. Which, drives me absolutely nuts. I’m a very large advocate for planning, and the timing of the proposal affects the timing of the wedding and everything else involved. And, I hate that I don’t really get too much of a say in that.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  va-in-ny. Reason: Formatting
    Post # 10
    Member
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    We both knew we were going to marry each other very early on, it was just kind of assumed, by us and everyone else. Eventually we just said, “hey, let’s get married on Christmas” and that was it. There wasn’t really a traditional proposal and we just got the rings after. I didn’t wait on the ring to consider myself engaged.

    Post # 11
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    The first year of us dating, I was very ready to say ‘I love you’ and move in together. I would say I waited for him to be ready for that. After about 4 years together he was ready to get married. It took us another 2 years to formally become engaged, though about 6 months of that period was speant ring shopping and pre-planning. So I would say he waited a year and a half for me to be ready for marriage, and I waited a year for him to be ready for a committed relationship. We got together young, and the situation was complicate by us working together for the first year.

    Right now I am beginning to get the urge to ttc, but know that we need to wait a bit longer for our fiances to be ready. He hasn’t yet felt the urge so I suspect I will be ready before him, even once we check the boxes of what we want to do before kids! He takes a while to get his head around an idea, or a new stage, but once he is in, he is fully in! I don’t mind waiting for him! We are currently 25(me) and 27(him) so I know it isn’t a rush.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6334 posts
    Bee Keeper

    At the time when FI mentioned getting engaged, I was already thinking of marriage though I thought it would take longer for him to feel the same way. I was very pleasantly surprised that we were on the same wavelength!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2059 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I was definitely waiting. He was the first to bring it up but didn’tpropose for nearly another 2 years. He always had his reasons why he didn’t propose, but ultimately it came down to him just not being ready because a lot of his excuses were still there when he finally did propose.

    Post # 14
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 1975

    weddingmaven:  Didnt know what waiting was before joining the Bee. DH and I planned and talk about our life events. We had a general idea of when we would like things to happen. Obviously its not foul-proof, but we were on the same page with everything. We equally wanted the engagement and marriage to happen/occur when they did.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3195 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    weddingmaven:  

    I never really waited for my husband to propose. He asked me not to move in with him unless I wanted to get married. We were engaged two months later with no pressure at all from me. 

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