(Closed) Who 'wears the pants' in your relationship?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who is more "in charge" in your relationship?
    My SO usually goes along with what I say/want : (47 votes)
    32 %
    I usually go along with what my SO says/wants : (12 votes)
    8 %
    I carry the whip sometimes, but less than half the time : (13 votes)
    9 %
    SO carries the whip sometimes, but less than half the time : (15 votes)
    10 %
    We are an equal democracy! : (58 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    we both wear the pants. We make compromises and usually decide together. I don’t think i could ever be that “controlling”. I don’t think controlling is the right word, but you get my drift

    Post # 5
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    @iarebridezilla:  i totally get what you’re saying. It’s funny though becuase I am such a people pleasure and feel guilty very easily. So if i don’t want to go to a specific restaurant and DH does, I make sure we pick another one so that we both agree on it. So that way, I don’t feel bad about it..it does get a little annoying though trying to agree on one thing!! lol

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We are most definately 50/50 on things. Especially now with a child. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    9625 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’re equal, but it’s easy for us because we tend to agree on almost everything anyway.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5081 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    we share the pants

    Post # 10
    Member
    2117 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    His personality lends itself to usually following my lead.

    However, the longer I’ve been with him, the more I’ve realized that sometimes I just need to shut up and let him handle things — he’s got it!

    Post # 13
    Member
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s pretty 50/50. There really isn’t a dominant one in our relationship. I’m more easy going about things than he is, but he constantly asks me for my opinion because he’s worried he’ll choose the wrong thing and upset me. I usually just go along with what he wants because a lot of the stuff he’s really particular about I have no opinion on, like what kind of kitchen soap we use.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11242 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would love to say that we’re 50/50, but he usually defers to me. I’m the picky one, so for food/entertainment/stuff like that, he asks what I want and we usually do that. Anything other than that kind of stuff, we go 50/50 (FI says, for the stuff that matters, we make decisions together).

    @OneOfTheseDaysAlice:  he constantly asks me for my opinion because he’s worried he’ll choose the wrong thing and upset me

    Haha, this is what my FI does with me.

    Post # 15
    Member
    5227 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would say its 60/40 with him leading a tad bit more. I always steamrolled over my ex bfs, but that is what set DH apart. He didn’t take my shit and didn’t just let me order him around but was extremely eye opening! We both make decisions and plan things together, but with menial things ( tv shows, where to eat like a PP mentioned) he usually makes the call. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    6249 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    I make all the plans, but we are both as stubborn as mules so no one really has any ‘power’ over the other.

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