Post # 1
Talking with my SO about TTC I said he, my mother and maybe my sister would be in the delivery room with me and his mom if she wants to be (I love her so I would be 100% ok with this) and he was shocked and said No, he wanted it to just be us as a family. I understand what he is saying but I’m a wimp and honestly I can’t see not at least wanting my mom in there with us. I think she would be very hurt if she wasn’t, however I love my mom but it’s me & SO’s child so I would respect what he is asking.
I know it’s stupid to even worry about right now because we are pregnant yet but I wanted to know, who will be with you in the delivery room? Have you talked to your SO/FI/DH about this?
Post # 3
@Bazinga: I had a whole slew of people in there with me, but absolutely NO parents!!!
DH was with me. He got me into this, he damn sure better help me out of it!
I had two doulas. I could NOT have done it without them.
The midwife and the nurse were there (obviously).
I had a very dear friend with whom I had marathon trained the year before. She is one of my best friends, always supportive & encouraging, and my biggest cheerleader in some of my most difficult moments during training and racing. I wanted her there to cheer me on, push me, and support me as I labored.
We also had a photographer, who is also a friend, and who also happens to be a nurse in the same hospital where I delivered. She had just gotten off a night shift as we were being checked in, so she went home for a nap, a shower, and a bite to eat and was right back there with us.
ETA- meant to say that I had such a wonderful experience last time that I’m hoping to have the same team with me this time too!
Post # 4
I loved having my mom there for a few reasons. My husband video taped it so she took still photos which I treasure. In fact she took the best photo of us as a family of three for the first time. Also, my recovery room wasn’t ready and they had to move me to triage. The baby had to go to the nursery. I didn’t want the baby to be alone so dh was to always be with him, but having my mom stay with me was invaluable. It would have been awful sitting alone for an hour when I needed the bathroom and my epi out and stuff.
Post # 5
I’m a long way from having a baby but I plan to have DH in there and hopefully my mom. We currently live about seven hours away from her so if we are still in a different state when I get pregnant than I guess she might not make it.
Post # 6
Definitely DH. Maybe my mom but I haven’t thought about it yet. I’m not sure I’d want her there helping me push, but I’d like to have her around before.
Post # 7
I had DH, one nurse, and the doctor.
Post # 8
I used to want my Mom in the delivery room, but now I am re-thinking it.
I kind of like the idea of that moment being just between me and my husband…also, I think sometimes women in the family get really invovled and then the fathers get a little alienated.
DH is cool with whatever I need/want, but I’m just not sure…
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
My husband initially did not want to be in the room with me which was disappointing to say the least. After discussing it he understands why I want him there and he has agreed to be in the room for most of the labor portion; he’s still not sure about the delivery part though. Although I think he’ll get excited and be too busy focusing on me and the baby to realize he’s in the room when it actually happens.
Unless I go fast she could easily get the call and drive the 3 hours to be with me and I like the idea of being comforted by my mom. But as much as I love my mom, I think having her in the delivery room would be a little stressful because she tends to talk too much and sometimes she can be inappropriate so I’m still not decided on this.
As for my husband’s mom, I adore her. I am actually pretty confident that she will be in the room with me for at least some portion of labor and definitely the delivery. She would never ask but I’m sure she will cry when we let her know she’s welcome to join us in the room.
I also have a stepmom that been in my life since I was 14. I don’t imagine her and my dad will drive down until after the baby is born but they may surprise me. I know she would love to be in the room but if she’s in the room then my mom has to be in the room and since she stresses out my mom, it would increase the liklihood of my mom misbehaving so I just don’t think it’s going to happen.
Post # 10
Only DH, my mother would drive me insane (we don’t live close though so luckily it isn’t even an option), and DH’s mother would annoy me too much. She’s one who would comment on every little thing like, “oh, that’s how you’re going to breathe? ok…good for you”. However, if I wanted another person in there with me I’d hope my husband would respect that. I’m the one that’s pushing this thing out of me and needs the support! You could always suggest having a “magic hour” after delivery, that’s what my doctor called it, it’s basically a time that everyone but you and who you want leave the room and give you privacy to connect with your baby.
Post # 11
We are also not yet pregnant but I want to have FI, my mom and my best friend. I went through my niece’s labor with my friend seven years ago and can’t imagine doing it without her. Mom and I are super close so I would want her there as well. I don’t think there’s anyone else I’d want there for the actual labor.
Post # 12
I’m going to have DH, my mom, and my grandmother.
DH is the obvious for me. He’s my rock…also, he got me in this so he better help me get out of it.
My Mom- Eh. I originally thought that’s what I wanted… but lately we haven’t been getting along too well.So I really don’t want her there. But we’ll see.
My grandmother was a labor and delivery nurse for years and years. So if any of my nurses or doctors do anything weird, she’ll be able to explain it to me better and put them in their place. I’ll feel so much better with her being there.
I would consider MIL since that would make her feel more included. Yet, she doesn’t want to fly/drive down only for me to go into false labor just sit around for a few days. So she kind of excluded herself on that one.
Post # 13
I just want my DH there only.
Post # 14
@Bazinga: Im not entirely close with my mom so i had only allowed my now fiance in the room with me. she got pretty angry when she found out that i wasnt allowing anybody in the room but him.She got over it. I was in labour with my daughter for 19 hours. My parents had ended up calling the hospital telling the nurses that i wouldnt tell them anything when all i was doing was waiting to dilate fully and she hadnt been born yet.
Post # 15
I literally can’t imagine anything worse than having my mom in there with me…UGH! That creeps me out so much. Just my husband, and if my little sister is available, she’s a nurse and would be welcome in there as well to help explain to me that everything is normal.
I don’t even want anyone else at the hospital until the baby is born and ready to greet the world. I don’t like the idea of people just hanging out, waiting in the waiting room, for hours on end, wondering what’s happening. I also don’t like the idea of my husband feeling pressured to keep updating everyone. Yea he’ll send update text messages to one point of contact, but it will be that one person’s responsibility to update everyone else and handle questions.
Post # 16
We’re planning a home birth (eventually some day so far we think)
I love my mom dearly but I can’t handle her stress. Not even when I have a clear head. She was there when my SIL delivered her first grandchild and I don’t imagine she’s going to be very fond of my decision but oh well!
FMIL is actually one of the only people Id let in. Unless we end up with some magical reason to invite her and not my mom (hshahaja thats not likely) I don’t think I should though. My mom is going to be sad enough about it, if I leT FMIL come and not her, I’d have a melt down on my hands for sure!!
If all goes as planned, it’ll be me, FI (once he’s my husband) and a midwife and her assistant. I like the sounds of it!