Post # 1
I know that most ladies posting in this board are all expecting/hoping for a new baby in the near future. But I am wondering if any of you have put any thought into what you and your partner will do when you have decided that you are not going to have any more children. Will he get a vasectomy? Will you get your tubes tied? Will you stay on BC till menopause? Have you talked about it at all or are you waiting to cross that bridge when you come to it?
DH and I have 2 girls and for a while we were considering having a 3rd baby. But after much soul searching we are thinking that we are fulfilled with the kids that we have. But then actually taking the step to make something permanent is intimidating too! But I don’t want to shell out $ for BC for the next 20 years either.
Just wondering if you all have any thoughts?
Post # 3
@eeniebeans: I am actually really curious as to what people do in this case also.
No kids here, not even sure if there are any in our future, but the permanent solution talk has to be had eventually.
I should also add that we currently do not use any form of protection other than PO, and that seems to have worked for 5 years….but I can’t imagine doing that for the rest of our lives! BC is out of the question…so that only leaves us with some kind of medical procedure.
Post # 4
We’ve never discussed it actually. Will have to bring it up tonight!
My vote is for vasectomy since it’s less invasive. Will have to see what DH thinks. I’m pretty sure he’d go for it.
Post # 5
Neither of us wants surgery, I’m allergic to latex, and I don’t want to be on the pill forever. It is still up in the air what we are going to do.
Post # 6
Vasectomy. You can still get pregnant when your tubes are tied and if we’re well and truely done with kids then I wouldnt want to take a chance.
Post # 7
I told my husband that I wasn’t getting my tubes tied. He then said, “Well, what are we going to do then?” I said, “It’s up to you.” So I am seriously leaving it up to him. He was put off at first, but I explained that it is WAY less invasive and way safer for him to get a vasectomy rather than me having my tubes tied, even though women more than often times go through it. Vasectomies are out patient procedures that are done very quickly. He seems more open to it now, and if he doesn’t want any more kids he will more than likely go through with it. I know he doesn’t want to use condoms forever, and I most certainly don’t want to shell out dough for BC all the time.
Post # 8
Vasectomy. We’ve already discussed it and DH is perfectly fine with it.
Post # 10
We don’t have children and aren’t currently trying, but this has been discussed. My husband has spoken about being okay with getting a vasectomy, but that could change when the time eventually comes!
I’d really have no desire to continue to be on BC until menopause, so I’d be all for him getting a vasectomy.
Post # 11
In my first marriage (circa 1980) I was married for over 20 Years.
In between babies, and for a bit afterwards (I was still on the fence about having another)… I used a Diaphragm.
When I did make up my mind, that the baby train was done… he got a Vasectomy. We were 36 years old. I knew for sure I didn’t want to risk having any babies in my late 30s or 40s.
(For all the reasons I expressed on another topic here on WBee about having Babies after 35. Sexually women really begin to change sexually in their late 30s and 40s, and I wanted to enjoy that phase of my life without the risk / worry)
With Mr TTR, we’ve used a variety of methods over the years… (he didn’t have a Big-V when he was done having kids).
BC was a greater issue when we met and I was in my mid 40s… there was no way in H3LL I wanted a baby at that age.
Altho my Dr did tell me that getting pregnant and sustaining a viable pregnancy in my late 40s early 50s was highly unlikely. Women who get pregnant in this age group is pretty rare… altho when it does happen we hear a lot about it (“I know someone who knows someone…”) because it is so alarming usually for a woman to find that happening to her at that advanced age. Don’t know many / any woman in that age group who would be too happy with such a development / revelation.
Hope this helps,
Post # 12
Tubes tied and I am happy i did it. Only have one daughter. Would have had more if i didnt have it done and I would have been a single mom of two and three which i did not want. Vasectomy is great if your going to stay with that one partner forever but I wanted to make sure i could not have anymore. Been with my tubes tied (Burned) for over 10 years and never had a pregnancy scare. I am happy with my choice, But a reminder, any surgery IS PERMANET! and very costly to even try to reverse and most of the time is not effective. Surgery is not for everyone, but for me it was the best thing ever.
Post # 13
IUD for a good long while until we’re REALLY sure (assuming those work for me — that’s the post-baby plan and fingers crossed that my body likes that plan) … and then vasectomy for DH. Hell no am I having major abdominal surgery just so his ballsies don’t have to get howt ohh owwww his poor ballsies!!!
Post # 14
This Time Round It does help. As do all the responses. I just wanted to hear what other people have come up with in their relationships- and if we were weird for not having discussed it prior!
Post # 15
He will get a vasectomy! End of story. lol
Post # 16
I’ll get another Mirena immediately after each birth until we want to try for number 2 or 3. Then he’ll get a V when we’re sure we’re done. Depending on what my cycle is like afterwards, I’m likely going to keep the IUD until menopause. My mom had to have a hysterectomy at 41 and my sister has fibroids and heavy, heavy bleeding. I haven’t had a natural cycle in ten years and at the time, they were heavy and unpredictable. So much better with the IUD. I don’t have any issues with it and none of the low hemoglobin levels my mom had to deal with.