Post # 1
Ok so this is just one of those complicated factors that I just try not to think about but I no I have to figure it out. so hear go’s the story and maybe someone can give me an opinion…….
So my father (well the man that raised me) passed away in 2001. well about 3 months before that my stepfather was arrested and my mom divorced him. ok so from 2001-2005 my mom was with someone else. they never married but he was always there for me. Me and my brother are the reason they split up in 05, we were rebelious teens and we didnt have a dad so we took it out on him. well once I got older i appolagized and Know I talk to him more than I do my mom. But my moms present husband cant stand him. My mom wants her husband to walk me down the isle, and there “supposed” to help pay for the wedding. I dont no what to do. My FH say’s I should find my biological father and have him do it but to me he hasnt earned that right and I dont want to throw another dad into the mix. Ive called all of the guys listed above “dad” its like they were all there at a different part of my life. so i just dont no who should walk me. I dont want to walk alone. I want my moms ex to walk me but I also dont want to hurt anyones feelings. I suggested my mom walk me but my grandmother wouldnt hear of it, i no its my day but she’s buying the dress and I cant afford it on my own. So she says A brother should walk me but all together I’ve had 7! 2 half brothers,2 previous step brothers, 2 current step brothers and an adopted brother. So what am I sapposed to do?
I hope that some what made sence. lol. please help. Im about ready to have my MH walk me.lol.
Post # 3
I don’t think any dad here really qualifies as the clear winner, same with the brothers- no one sticks out. You are going to hurt a lot of feelings either way, and even though you don’t want to, it would probably be best to walk down alone.
If your grandma doesn’t want your mom to walk you down the aisle, who DOES she want to do it? Maybe whoever should do it would be very clear to your grandma?
Eventually if people keep offering to buy you things/pay for things you have to accept it with their wants, or do what YOU want without taking their $$. You can’t have it both ways, unfortunately 🙁
Post # 4
A lot of brides don’t have anyone walk them down the aisle. Is that an option?
Post # 5
Wow. I’d walk yourself down the aisle all by yourself in your glorious bride-ness! I agree with kjpugs, tho, who does your gramma see as being so important? And also, nobody sticks out to me as “the” person if you aren’t that close with one person over another.
Post # 6
I’ve heard of ladies walking down the aisle with their fiance and to me that sounds quite nice. Then again, maybe your grandmother wouldn’t like that either. I think walking by yourself might be the best option here given there are so many differing opinions on what “should” happen.
Post # 7
Do you have a Grandfather? That would eliminate all hard feelings,I would think.
Seems to me from what you’ve described,I would have either your Mother or Grandmother (she’d probably love it!) or both of them. Everybody seems to be breaking the old rules anyway,so why not?!
Post # 8
I agree with Miss Starlet. Just walk youself down the aisle (as long as it’s an option). Since many women are getting married older these days they do not need or want someone to “give them away”. You are you’re own woman so to speak.
Post # 9
If I were in your position, I might walk myself down. I’ve seen a couple of brides do that and you could even have your fiance meet you half way or something, if you wanted. That can be really sweet. Honestly, at this point, I think people are doing all kinds of different things, so it’s really acceptable to do something “non-traditional”. I know I had my brother walk me down, because I don’t have a relationship with my dad.
Although, you should try to think about what YOU want the most. If you really want it to be your mom, you should ask her. Your grandma will understand–it’s YOUR day.
Post # 10
well you said that you really want your mother’s ex-husband to walk you, so i think that is what you should do. since you want to involve the current husband as well you could honor him with the father-daughter dance. does that cover everybody? i would leave your actual father out as you were thinking, it doesn’t sound like he deserves that type of honor (i’m in the same situation there). maybe giving each of them a “dad duty” will try and make everyone happy:)
Post # 11
You said your mom wants her current husband to walk you down the aisle and they are supposed to pay for the wedding. Are they actually paying for the wedding? If so, is your Mom’s ex even invited to the wedding?
Who walked your Mom down the Aisle at her most recent wedding?
Is there one brother you are closest to?
Do you have a God-Father or grandfather?
Post # 12
Thank you everyone for the input. Well my grandmothers say my mom walking me down the isle will take away from her experiance of watching me walk down, so im shur she would feel the same if i asked her to do it. My grandfather says hes already walked his daughters down its someone elses turn. I havent talked to my god father sice my dad passed, he called me a spoiled **** well we no the rest. so thats out of the ?. I dont no. I just dont want to walk alone.i have one brother who im the closest to and i no my other brothers wouldnt mind, im just really worried about hurting my mom and dad #4’s feelings. I just want a peacefull drama free wedding.lol. I had planned to have my fathers dad do it, but he passed last year. my uncle isnt going to make it to the wedding andim running out of options. I thought of haveing my best friend do it since he obviously doesnt want to be a BM, but I have a better shot of my family haveing my mom do it than that. they would find it to be un traditional and just wrong. this is just the first of the battle. when they found out my colors were red and black they were completely shocked. and dont get my started with the in laws on my catering choice. Ugh….this is makeing me so badly want to call it off and go to vegas, just the two of us! thank you guys for all the help. any opinions are appreciated.sorry for bad SP.LOL.
Post # 13
First of all – dont take your grandmothers word on what your mother woudl or wouldnt want. Talk to her – she might really love the idea of walking you in which case, I’d go that way. I’d also talk to your mother about wanted her ex to walk you and see what she thinks. If its going to be a drama thing, by pass and go with the bro you are closest too.
Post # 14
get the oldest brother to walk you, I’m sure your other brothers would understand why, the older brother does get the respect! I don’t know it’s complicated!!!
Post # 15
I’d have a chat with your mom – what does she think about walking you down the aisle herself? (Don’t ask her who she thinks should do it and add to the confusion, just ask her if she will!)
It’s horrible that everyone who contributes financially feels they can dictate what happens at your wedding… it may be too late, but stand firm about thanking them for their “obligation-free financial help” and don’t let them dictate what you do on your day!
If your mom declines, and as you say you’re closer to one brother – ask him!
Good luck no matter which way you go! 🙂
Post # 16
I would walk alone or with fiance.