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Check with your state law because I know some people who applied online and got the license to marry. I think in most states as long as you have that license you can legally marry people... but again, it vary's state by state.
Yup, states laws are different...I'd check with your Clerk of Courts!
ughhh that's so irritating!
What about doing the legal part at City Hall, and then having whomever you want (even a friend, relative, etc) do the ceremony?
Hmm, all I could get from the County Clerk was "public officials whose powers include solemnization of marriages." <<< Dug deeper, any ordained official who has a congregation, or JOP. So, no internet ordinations for a legally binding ceremony.
I would call, but they literally don't pick up the phone. R tried to get someone on the phone about a bogus court date notice, and they've shut off their phones except for an automated system to save money.
Illinois is crazy.
@Ex Libris - I'd love to do that, except we have no idea who to ask. The only person I could ever imagine doing well and respecting our belief system is FFIL, but I want him to be able to be a guest of honor and enjoy the wedding... I don't think he really likes public speaking either.
Unless your state requires that the person solemnizing the wedding have an active congregation, I'm sure a secular humanist officiant will be able to do it. From the state code:
Sec. 209. Solemnization and Registration.) (a) A marriage may be solemnized by a judge of a court of record, by a retired judge of a court of record, unless the retired judge was removed from office by the Judicial Inquiry Board, except that a retired judge shall not receive any compensation from the State, a county or any unit of local government in return for the solemnization of a marriage and there shall be no effect upon any pension benefits conferred by the Judges Retirement System of Illinois, by a judge of the Court of Claims, by a county clerk in counties having 2,000,000 or more inhabitants, by a public official whose powers include solemnization of marriages, or in accordance with the prescriptions of any religious denomination, Indian Nation or Tribe or Native Group, provided that when such prescriptions require an officiant, the officiant be in good standing with his religious denomination, Indian Nation or Tribe or Native Group. Either the person solemnizing the marriage, or, if no individual acting alone solemnized the marriage, both parties to the marriage, shall complete the marriage certificate form and forward it to the county clerk within 10 days after such marriage is solemnized. (b) The solemnization of the marriage is not invalidated by the fact that the person solemnizing the marriage was not legally qualified to solemnize it, if either party to the marriage believed him to be so qualified or by the fact that the marriage was inadvertently solemnized in a county in Illinois other than the county where the license was issued. (Source: P.A. 95‑775, eff. 1‑1‑09.)
@Monita - they do require a congregation. :( I hadn't found that yet when I wrote the first post, I added it in... I'm just really disappointed, because we had already "window shopped" officiants. Thanks for posting, though! I think most states are fine, but Illinois is an exception.
You also have a ways to go. My suggestion would be to call an officiant you are interested in, and ask about the legalities. The only thing that looks slightly hinky about Illinois is their concern over which county issues the license. If you are marrying in the city, which I seem to remember you are, you may need a Cook county license and a resident from there.
Thanks, I'll do that... *calming down a bit* will it matter that we're not registered in Cook? We do plan to get married in the city. I've been a resident for two years, but because I'm in college my driver's license is still Kane, where my parents live, as is R's.
I guess what's tripping me up is the congregation thing... because obviously the secular humanist officiant wouldn't have a congregation.
I didn't look too much into the details about Cook, but they do accept out of state couples marrying in state, so I don't think residency will matter, just where you get the license.
One thing to consider is that secular humanist congregations are sprouting up all over the place. There is one here in Sacramento (I think it is not my cup of tea, but whatever people need). So, don't dismiss that possibility quite so quickly.
Another resource is the Unitarians. Plenty of Unitarians are secular humanists (also not my cup of tea), so you might be able to find an officiant through them. Some congregations are more Christian-lite (really hope I didn't offend), and some are more pantheist, and still others are varied or humanist, so you'll have to do some digging.
This is going to depend in part on how strictly "religious denomination" is defined in practice. They may recognize groups that are actually pretty secular. If you have an officiant in mind, I'd imagine s/he has a standard way of dealing with the legalities. If not, you might look for a Unitarian minister - at least in my local congregation, they are 100% open to atheists even as congregation members, and so should be able to respect your beliefs.
ETA - I see I'm not the only one who thought about the unitarians...
@monita - okay, thanks - I didn't even know such a thing existed! It's not generally my type of thing, either, but in this case it might be perfect. I really appreciate you walking me through this. :)
@historienne - we did have a few in mind, but didn't want to bother them so early. I've noticed that the practicing officiants does fluctuate, and so we thought we'd wait until closer to the ceremony.
The UU issue wouldn't be so much with us, but with our families. They're very religious and already are going to be very upset that we want a secular ceremony, I think they would see using any kind of minister - even one from a totally different religious background - as a slap in the face as my uncle is a Lutheran pastor.
UGGGGHHHHHHHHH so freakin' unfair. absolutely ridiculous how much of a joke "separation of church and state" really is. even the JOPs always include some kind of religious reference in their ceremonies (at least all the ones I've been to).
I know, it's so frustrating. :( That put a huge damper on my night. I did email the foundation to ask what previous Chicago/Illinois people had done, so we'll see what they say.
Yeah I'd looked at having a friend of mine do our ceremony. Big no to that as we're a "JoP or Church" wedding state as well. We've got a lead on a JP in the area we're having our wedding, and I've heard he's a absolute dearheart. I just hope he doesn't have a stroke when I tell him no prayer or mention of religion at all. Neither FI or I belong to churches and don't feel like talking about our views with many people, and having something that refers to any particular thing seems hypocritical, so ix-nay on the "Let's bow our heads in prayer." :/
Wow, sorry, don't have any advice, but that is RIDICULOUS.
FI's family has told us they won't attend our wedding if it's not in a Catholic church (both Fi and I were raised Catholic), but we are extremely committed to having a secular wedding. Even though no one in our family is a religious official, I can still see them being really upset if we had it done by a non-Catholic official. So I know where you're coming from.
Ugh! Hope you manage to work something out. Good thing you figured this out while you still have a lot of time left.
Thanks everyone! Just got a sweet email from the international director of the Celebrant Institute, and she said that they are considered non-denominational ministers and have worked with the Cook County government before. I have to work it out with the officiant we decide on, but it sounds like they've found a way to work within the law.
So it's a relief, but it still irks me that it was an issue at all. I understand licensing requirements, etc, but I don't see why a secular officiant who is NOT a minister would be so awful.
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Okay, maybe this is really stupid, but I didn't realize that secular humanist officiants can't actually marry a couple - it has to be a clergy member, or a Justice of the Peace.
http://www.usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/illinois/
We were set on having a secular humanist officiant marry us, but now I'm wondering if we should just as a JOP?
*Sigh* somehow, this doesn't seem fair to me.
Then again, a lot about the marriage process isn't currently fair.
-End rant-