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i havent been to any weddings where they had parents at the head table.
in ours, we had our bridal party and their +1's. 17 ppl at our head table! :O
I've NEVER seen parents at the head table, and I've been to tons of weddings.
We did sweethearts.
Parents usually sit at table closest to the head table with other family members (their own family, not FI's)
We did a sweetheart table, and then to our left was a table for our bridal party and their significant others', and to our right was a table that had our parents and grandparents.
We did a big oval family style table. Had us, the wedding party, flower girls, ring bearers, ushers
You might be better off having these difficult people "host" their own tables. We had my parents and his mom and stepdad at one table with my god father and his wife, and his dad hosted a table with his closest family members (DH's aunt, uncle, brothers etc). My grandparents hosted a table with other older members of my family. the bridal party was mixed around so they could sit with people they felt most comfortable with and their dates. They were all at the tables closest to us but we were at a sweetheart table.
Man I didn't even think about having their dates sit up there!?!? Hmmmmm...we do have two married couples in our bridal party! :)
We had a small wedding party, and they didn't have SOs, so we had our entire wedding party and parents sit with us at the head table. I liked it :)
Ours will be us and some of the wedding party and dates. We don't have room for everyone at our table and I didn't want to separate bridal party and their dates. The ones who will sit at other tables are ones that know many other people.
we didn't have one of those (cheesy) long head tables where you only get to talk to the person next to you. I feel that they seem very "Royalty" like. As if you're watching down over all your guests and the dance floor. IMO.
we just had a few different tables like everyone else. We sat our attendants dates with them since I know that sucks when the husband or gf has to sit alone! We just sat some with us and others nearby. It doesn't really matter since you get up soon.
I've never heard of parents at a head table as a rule.... we're doing sweetheart table, my cousin, sister, and 2 sets of friends did this too, one set of friends whos wedding we were in had just me and FH at their head table with them b/c we were MOH and best man.
It was really important to FH for us to have a little alone time at some point during the day/ night, and I'm ok with it :)
We're having one table for the wedding party and their spouses (all are married) and since all of our parents are divorced, and remarried in 2 cases, they each get their own table with their choice of family and friends.
Anyone else LOATHE setting up seating arrangements? so far it's the only thing I totally HATE about planning. :P
Our head table was us and our wedding party (6 on each side).
My parents were at one table right in front of us and got to choose who sat there (they chose some of their friends). DH's parents were at another table right in front of us and they chose to sit family at their table with them.
@almsotSLC: Really? I found seating arrangements to be super easy. We arranged our 16 table, 135 person wedding in 10 minutes, tops.
Were having sweetheart table, my sister did all the attendants... at all the weddings ive been to Ive never seen parents at the head table.. and mine are actually excited to sit with their brothers and sisters and close friends... its only dinner..
To make this decision harder, my FI just informed me that he thinks parents should be at the head table. He said he'll check to see what his mom thinks, and then if she also thinks so, then of course we'll have parents up there with us.
I LOVE my mom, but our venue isn't huge. We have a cap of 120 people. If we go through with parents at the table, thats 14 people across the front! Grr... at least I have 9 months to figure out seating.
We are doing a cocktail reception with no assigned tables. We will have large and small tables scattered around the rooms with stations in different places as well to help keep it flowing.
At my FSILs wedding this summer her head table was just siblings and their dates. Not the wedding party (siblings were part of party however). I wasnt in the wedding party, but I did sit at the head table which was a circle table.
For what its worth, it really isn't a hardship for us to have +1s for our bridal party at our head table because we only have 5 people total in the bridal party (MOH, 2 BM, best man, GM). Three of the five have people that will definitely come as dates and who don't know many other people there so I'd feel badly sticking them at some random table. The other two are free to bring dates if they want, but they're single. And we're doing a "tuscan style" table which is basically a long rectangular table with us sitting on both sides rather than sitting at a round table like everyone else.
@smileyd: I'm curious why FI wants his parents to be at the head table. Does he want to interact with them or is it a way of honoring them?
From the times I've sat at the head table, I find it's not very conducive to interacting with anyone other than the person directly to your right or left.
BF has said that he doesn't want to have a head table, and I agree with him. I want to be out sitting with my guests, not up there for them all to stare at me loathingly while I eat food and they are still waiting for their dishes.
I kind of want to sit with my family and, since I know they girls who will likely be in my bridal party, won't have really ever met each other, I don't want them to have to sit next to each other making awkward conversation. I want them to be able to sit with their friends or their families as well. Sure we are al adults, but I'm a big softy. :D
I also don't plan on having a seating chart. I think that everoyne is capable of finding a place to sit. I don't want to worry about who can't sit by who and how close they should be to the bar/food/music/ex, etc. I'll just reserve tables for family. Done and done. I think. Now I will probably stress about this at my still hypothetical wedding.
I am voting for the sweetheart table. It is so nice to murmur to each other and 'take a break' away from all of the greeting, hugging, thanking and everything to just have your very first meal together with your new hubby!
I am firmly against any kind of seating that separates the bridal party from their dates. I honestly would consider it a dealbreaker in the weddings I'd been in. To be honest, some of us BMs were soooo different from each other and just really didn't socialize besides wedding stuff or small talk so it would be very uncomfortable to spend 4 hours having to talk to mostly only them. My sis had toyed with the idea and I told her that I would stand up there for a pic but I would bring my plate and drink to whatever table my bf (of 7 years) was sitting alone at (barely knew anyone at her wedding) to eat. I just would never dream of spending the entire reception/meal separated from my love. What's the point of going with him? Luckily, they did a sweetheart table. I also hate the kind where they are all facing you so they can't talk to anyone else except the person next to them and we all get to watch them chew, lol! I would be mortified to be seated up there! It kind of reminds me of Medieval Times...
In all the weddings I've ever been in, gone to, or the one I had:) I've never seen parents up there. Maybe its a regional thing, though. When my ex hubby and I did a seating arrangement his family was very, very difficult to seat because some weren't speaking to others that would logically be seated together! So we did have to do several 'important couple' tables. It was very stressful.
@oracle: He says he's always seen parents at head tables, he thinks it's odd when they're not.
Yes, I'm pretty sure it's a regional thing. I've only seen it at a few weddings.
I always used to think that if parents paid or helped to pay for it then that would be the reason for their being up front, and weddings where they weren't it was because the couple payed for the festivities themselves, which is true in our case.
I'm torn over what to do, Do what I envisioned originally, or bow to what my mom envisions, and my FI agrees is proper.
I didn't have a real head table (it was a round table like all the others). I had my mad of honor/best man and his wife sit with us, plus two friends who fit best at that table because they knew the maid of honor and no one else.
Having parents at the head table is a very British thing. I've been to a few British weddings (and am marrying a Brit/Aussie myself!) and it is always the bride and groom (obviously), the Best Man, MOH, and both sets of parents. The rest of the bridal party is scattered throughout the room, sitting at the table they'd likely be sitting at if they were not a member of the bridal party. I love the idea and want to do it, even though we're getting married in Wisconsin, but mom is totally against the idea as she doesn't want everyone looking at her. I've still got time to convince her though! :)
We are doing a King's table with our bridal party and their SO's. It will be 14 people, but a King's table has you sit on both sides instead of across one side, so it will actually only be 8 people across (we sit together, but then bridesmaids on my side with their SOs on the opposite, and GMs on his side with their SOs across). I worry that some of them will be faced away from the dance floor but it shouldn't matter, right?
I know I'm totally in the minority here but I absolutely hate head tables. I just dont see how sitting in a line on one side of a table is personable. I also happen to really dislike it when couples dont sit wedding party members with their dates. I've been that date before and its so awkward sitting at a table with people you dont know.
With that said, we're also not big fans of sweetheart tables. The way we see it, we're going to be on display the entire day. We plan on only spending a few minutes at our table eating so I would like to maybe not have all eyes on us as we try to woof down our food. Because of this, we have decided to sit at an 8 person round table (just like every other table at our reception) with both sets of parents and FI's brother (best man) and sister in law. Our wedding party and their dates (which happen to total 8 people) will be seated at the table next to ours.
Our parents we're very excited and honored that we decided to sit with them instead of with our wedding party at a traditional head table.
We are having our parents, moh and best man at the head table. the rest of the bridal party will have a separate table
Also I always see the parents at the head table.
I've also never been to a wedding where the parents sat at the head table. We're doing "tuscan style" too. We're talkers so the side by side thing would just never work! Like you, we have a cap of 120, but we did a mock layout the other day and it looked really good! If anything, you could try something like that and have your parents etc spaced out along the table so that they're not together...? That's a tough situation (my bio parents have been divorced since I was 2, but generally get along ok, so I've been lucky so far). Hope you get it all figured out!
We're just having our children with us at the head table. It will be our first dinner as an "official" family.
@CorgiTales: Completely off topic, but we're both in Cbus and I've never heard the expression "tuscan table" before we picked our venue - I couldn't help but wonder where you guys are getting married??
Sweetheart table. I want my bridal party to be able to sit at a reserved table with their significant others, as well as a table reserved for our family..
@TealChocolate: I'm getting married in Columbus also and we are planning to do a Tuscan table as well. I heard that expression from a couple venues that mentioned it to me when I told them I hated head tables :)
@smileyd: I have a rather large wedding party (8 on each side). My venue, however, will provide round or square tables. I thought it would be kinda fun to mix and match round and square tables all around the room. The groom and I, wedding party, and their dates will be in a large head table with 5 or so square tables put together (not like the traditional head table where the wedding party looked over everyone else, though. the party will be seated all around the big rectangle of tables.)
I wanted my wedding party to be together and at the same time include their dates. I've definitely been a date to a groomsman (who is now my FH) that I couldn't sit with. I didn't know anyone at the wedding. I spent the entire time texting him!
We did attendants and their dates. That way their dates didn't have to sit at a random table where they didn't know anyone. We had 18 people at our head table, with chairs on either side (but with open space in front of bride & groom so people could come up and talk or take pictures). That way it avoided the awkward problem where the whole wedding party is looking straight ahead and can't talk to anyone. The table was way bigger than we were planning or originally told by the venue (causing a last minute freak out on linens and decor), but I think it turned out nice. I've attached a picture for fun. :)
60961_428266752034_500852034_5580623_5.jpg (96.7 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old You must log in to post.
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I know this question has been asked before, but I'm wondering what the current brides to be are thinking because I just had a conversation with my mom about this, and she seemed really upset with what we were considering, even though months ago I asked if there were any traditions important to my family, and she said no.
Some background on why I'm doing this poll:
She says it's tradition for the parents to be at the head table, but I say our wedding party is too large. When you have a large bridal party (3-4 each), it's not possible to seat everyone. I said she'd be sitting at the brides family table, and her reply to that was that if she's not at the head table, then both sets of parents should be seating together. I look forward to reading what other brides say!
My parents have been divorced since I turned 5, and they can almost never be civil to each other (Dad, actually is the one who pisses people off). If we do a parents table it'll be my divorced parents, his parents (who have yet to make an effort to come to NS to meet my parents, a 3-4 hour drive), my estranged paternal grandmother ( I really hope she can't make it), her boyfriend I've met once, my paternal grandfather and his longtime girlfriend, and my recently widowed maternal grandmother. FI has no grandparents left. I look at that list and I think "awkward"