Post # 1
Not physically… I mean on a personal level!
While it breaks my heart to say this… we’re closer to his family. Being in a LDR, my FI has only spent about 5 days with my family over the last 3 years. He’s missed the majority of major family events, while I’ve made it to a lot of his. I’ve also traveled a lot to his hometown & I would spend every weekend with his parents and siblings… I feel like a part of his family while he feels like a stranger to mine.
As a LDR couple, are you closer to your family or his? Do you keep in touch with his family via email or telephone or do you just relay messages through your FI?
Post # 3
I’m closer physically and emotionally to my Mom 🙂
I’ve only met his parents once, we spent a couple of days with them on my first visit. We’ve spoken on the phone several times. I think we get along well, they’re very sweet and happy for us.
Luckily, Spike gets along great with my Mom. I am sure he’s closer with his own parents. With the distance, it’s going to take longer for all of us to get to know one another.
Post # 4
Gees, we haven’t officially met each others’ parents yet. That’s coming in January!
Well… he’ll be meeting my parents in December when he goes up for Christmas (our parents live in the same town). Yep, that’s right, without me. They asked if they could have him over for dinner while I’m still in China. And I said yes. And then asked him if it was okay.
Post # 5
Even though I live 45 minutes from his parents by subway…and 15 hours from my family by plane, it’s my family for sure.
With his parents, there’s a huge language barrier and the fact that his family never ever ever wanted to expected to have a ‘foriegn’ DIL. They have warmed up to me, and are now very kind, but I’m still at the ‘exotic’ stage. The extent of my conversations with his family are still ‘what do foreigners eat for breakfast?’ ‘you eat spicy food? but I didn’t think foreigners could eat spicy food!’ (we’ve had this conversation every time we’ve met), or ‘do foreigners like Korea?’ I’m so happy that his parents are more accepting of me than most of my friends’ inlaws, but I really really want to move to the place where they consider me a normal human being. Even FI is treated a little strangely by his family because he has gone outside his ‘proper’ cultural boundaries.
On the other hand, my family is relatively diverse, and adding a Korean to the mix just means one more culture to learn. There’s still a considerable distance between myself and my future inlaws because they are obsessed with my race and culture, but when FI and I are with my family, they focus more on us as people.
Post # 6
His family…we’ve seen them a LOT more than my parents. We do birthdays togehter, etc. Not that I’m closer to them versus my parents, but we do hang out a lot more. I text his sister random stuff and call his mom occassionally for stuff….he doesn’t even have my parents’ phone numbers. =]
Post # 7
It is funny to say this, but we are closer to his family; although not to an extreme. He has sisters and I have brothers so it is easier for us girls to get together, talk, and do “girl things.” I make an effort to stay in touch with his sisters and cousins through email or facebook. He talks to my brothers too, but not as much as I keep in touch with his sisters. I think guys are just different that way.
Post # 8
We are definetly closer to his family. Especially since we lived near them for the past 4 years! My dad and I have a complicated relationship since my mom died. We get along but it’s just strange sometimes.
Post # 9
Thankfully, we are close to both families. But if I had to pick, I’d say we are closer to my family.
Post # 10
we live closer to his family, and see them more often, but i feel closer to mine. his is a little more formal, and in terms of wedding planning, i just feel like we’re on the same page as my parents just so, so much more. like, we just shared our idea for the save the dates, and my parents loved it, and his were like, “why do you want that design? it’s awful” 🙁 we’ve only been engaged a month, but i feel like we’ve already had way more misunderstandings/miscommunications with his parents (and zero with mine)
edit– whoops, i just noticed this is the ldr board…sorry!
Post # 11
I really stepped in $h!+ with my in-laws. My parents are a lot older and his are about 20yrs younger than mine. His brother and sister are closer in age to me – my brothers are all in their late 40’s. I can talk to my FMIL about just about anything and she gets it, she’s still very traditional but at least she understands today’s society a little more.
Plus – I hate to say it but his parents are waaaaaaaaaaay cooler than mine. The first time I met them was when I threw a B-day party for the FI – his parents came to the bar to hang out & stayed till about 3am. My mom & dad are my parents. FI is friends with his parents and I think that’s really amazing. I hope to have the same relationship with my children.
Post # 12
since i was making more money, i was able to make more trips to visit him and in the process, i have been able to develop my own relationships with his family. when i visit, we usually just stay at his mom’s house so i’m there chatting it up with everyone [usually in the mornings as he’s a late sleeper and i’m up with the sun]. when he visits me, he has to stay at a hotel so he doesn’t get the same amount of time with my folks as i do with his.
Post # 13
oh, i voted before reading your explanation. We’re physically closer to his family, but I think personally emotionally more connected to mine. I just have a bigger more tight knit family that spends a lot of time together. The time we were together pre-marriage was near my family so my husband got to know them pretty well.