(Closed) Who’s fiance wore military dress uniform? (didn’t want to bump old threads)

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hey, we’re not married yet but he will be wearing his blues.  He’s worn them for a couple weddings we’ve been to, so I’ve seen what he’s going to look like.  I wanted black suits, but once he decided he wanted a military wedding, I got on board.  And there’s not much to like/not like.  I’ve had a little trouble figuring out what colors I want, bc I don’t want things to clash.  But, got over it and I have no issues with it–I think he’s handsome no matter what he wears!  Plus he’s earned it. And it sounds like you are into the uniform!  good luck!

Post # 4
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

PenguinGuy did!

When we originally set a date (13 November) he was all over the idea of wearing his blues (which are actually black! lol) for the wedding. This suited me perfectly because I really wanted the arch of swords. In the end, our wedding date changed (21 August) so he wore his whites.

On many levels there isn’t a whole lot of difference between wearing a uniform and wearing a tux/suit for the wedding. Admittedly it was cheaper because all he needed were new shoes and medals instead of renting/buying a whole new outfit. Wearing his uniform did allow us to do certain things at our wedding that would have been grossly out of place/not allowed had he not worn a uniform. Those included, but were not limited to, the arch of swords and cutting our cake with his sword.

All of the downsides were directly related to his uniform itself.

1. He wore gloves during the ceremony. Even though intellectually I knew he would, it still came as a shock when I went to put his ring on his finger. I ended up just slipping it on as far as it would go OVER the glove. He left it like that until he could take the gloves off and move it into its real position. This isn’t so much a problem as just something to remember if he will be carrying a sword/sabre.

2. There are certain expectations of behaviour while he is in uniform. Now, I don’t know your future husband, but PenguinGuy tends to act with the same decorum OUT of uniform that is expected while in uniform, so this was a non-issue for us. Just something about which to think.

3. It was white. Nothing matches Navy whites, NOTHING. They are a very unique shade of white. Finding a complementary/matching white caused some stress until I threw my hands up and just went with a dress that looked awesome on me.

4. It was white. We served chicken parm and pasta with tomato sauce. I was stressing out about not getting stuff all over MY white dress let alone HIS dress whites! lol  Oddly enough, the only stain (aside from a bit of dirt/mud on my hem) was from when he spilled some of his chocolate milkshake on his uniform while in the limo. Silly boy.

Since your future hubby will be in blues, issues 3 and 4 that I had with PenguinGuy uniforms are completely negated. So long as you remember that 1. gloves + ring = amusement, 2. He either needs to maintain proper behaviour or have another outfit into which to change for the reception, 3. it is impossible to match colors to uniforms, don’t try. Just go with a color scheme that you want and that makes you happy. The uniforms will look great next to just about anything, and 4. Napkins are a uniform (and wedding gown’s!) best friend.

I say let him rock the uniform since there are no real negatives!

Post # 5
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Penguingal06:  I completely agree on the color scheme.  I stressed a little too much about having everything match at first, but ‘m over it now.  Thankfully I don’t have to worry about getting his too dirty, his blues are blue.

 

Oh, I just thought of another plus.  No boutonnieres! I didn’t really like boutonnieres and I thought they were an added cost, turns out they can’t wear them on their blues. 

Post # 6
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Violet Violet: Can’t wear them on any uniform! I totally forgot about what a great cost saver that was! Curiosity, what colors did you end up choosing? I took the cowards way out and went with black and white (with splashes of pink and green). ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Penguingal06:  I’m still deciding.  I’m using a deep navy (instead of the black I wanted), purple, gray, and pops of magenta.  I wanted to add some bright yellow, since it’s the color of the trim on his blues and I thought that would look nice but I’m really into jewel tones right now.  No idea what my BMs will wear yet though…

Post # 8
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Penguingal06:  I’m still deciding.  I’m using a deep navy (instead of the black I wanted), purple, gray, and pops of magenta.  I wanted to add some bright yellow, since it’s the color of the trim on his blues and I thought that would look nice but I’m really into jewel tones right now.  No idea what my BMs will wear yet though…

 

Post # 10
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Cosmocity–My husband and I are both Guard so I can probably help if you need any info for your wedding. We chose not to do a  military wedding but I have been to a couple. 

My first question would be- Does he want to wear his uniform bc its the easiest thing or does he want to have a miltary wedding? We all know most guys are going to go for the easiest route and maybe not consider all the details. 

The other question would be- are there other military members standing up for him and are they also going to wear the uniform? 

I would think its odd to see the uniform worn with no other traditions being recognized. You can skip the swords but as a minimum most people do a pow/mia table at the reception. 

Here’s a description and a picture, you could just put the description in the program or else have your dj read it off. 

I’ll be glad to answer any other questions if you need any help. 

As you entered the banquet hall this evening, you may have noticed a small table in a place of honor. It is set for one. This table is our way 
of symbolizing the fact that members of our profession of arms are missing from our midst. They are commonly called POWs or MIAs, 
we call them “Brothers.” They are unable to be with us this evening and so we remember them.

This Table set for one is small — Symbolizing the frailty of one prisoner alone against his oppressors. Remember! (ring bell)

The Tablecloth is white — Symbolizing the purity of their intentions to respond to their country’s call to arms. Remember! (ring bell)

The single Red Rose displayed in a vase reminds us of the families and loved ones of our comrades-in-arms 
who keep the faith awaiting their return. Remember! (ring bell)

The Red Ribbon tied so prominently on the vase is reminiscent of the red ribbon worn upon the lapel and breasts of thousands who bear 
witness to their unyielding determination to demand a proper accounting of our missing. Remember! (ring bell)

The Candle, the candle is lit — Symbolizing the upward reach of their unconquerable spirit. Remember! (ring bell)

A Slice of Lemon is on the bread plate to remind us of their bitter fate. Remember! (ring bell)

There is Salt upon the bread plate — Symbolic of the families tears as they wait. Remember! (ring bell)

The Glass is inverted — They cannot toast with us this night. Remember! (ring bell)

The Chair — The chair is empty. They are not here. Remember! (ring bell)

Remember! — All of you who served with them and called them comrades, who depended upon their might and aid, and 
relied upon them, for surely, they have not forsaken you. Remember! (ring bell)

Remember! — Until the day they come home, Remember! (ring bell)

TABLE SET UP:

1. A small, round bistro table 
2. White tablecloth 
3. Single place setting, preferably all white 
4. Wine glass – inverted 
5. Salt shaker 
6. Slice of lemon on bread plate with a pile of spilled salt 
7. Small bud vase with a single stem red rose 
8. RED ribbon tied around the vase 
9. Candle – lit 
10. Empty chair 
11. Bell 

[attachment=1287046,163981]

Post # 12
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

We are having some military traditions at our wedding including what we call the Missing Marine table.  It is our responsiblity as a Corps family to honor those who have gone before him, and those who will go after him. 

We are trying to have an arch, but I can’t afford to feed everyone so I’m trying to find people at work (Pentagon) who will help us out.  I just don’t want an all officer arch. If we don’t have one, it’s ok!  He is definitely wearing his uniform, though.  What’s the point of being a Marine if you can’t wear the awesome uniform? (j/k ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Post # 13
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@cosmocity: The expectations are just those that he has whenever he wears the uniform, essentially don’t do anything to disrespect it and everything for which it stands.

To the best of my knowledge, which is that of a Navy wife, he can wear his uniform regardless of whether or not anyone else is. Also, wearing a uniform does not mean that you are required to have a military wedding. It is, however, required to wear the uniform if you are having a military wedding.

Arch of swords: Different branches do this differently. Keep in mind some branches (Navy for example) require the person being honored to be a commissioned officer. Enlisted personal are not allowed to have the arch.

There are several threads around these parts that give more details on how it actually works. Another thing to consider is that it doesn’t have to be a huge arch of the same branch. PenguinGuy and I had 4 of his friends do it for us: 3 USN and 1 USCG.  It doesn’t necessarily require a ‘crap ton’ of extra people, especially if any of them are friends that would be invited regardless.

POW/MIA table: Not a requirement, but a truly beautiful tribute. PenguinGuy and I did not have this but did decide to donate money to the Navy-Marine Corps Relief fund in lieu of favors.

I did find that the book A Military Wedding by Vanessa Baldwin was helpful. It is not very big and doesn’t answer every question, but it does a good job of covering the basics. Also, I would check out Married to the Military as a GREAT way of getting a crash course in being a military spouse!

Post # 14
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry, we are having 80 people tops, and adding 6 people and their significant others is a lot of people for an 80 person wedding.  We are not inviting anyone from my fiance’s unit right now, especially at such a significant cost.  We have two people from my work coming, but they’re in the Army and neither will probably wear their uniform. 

Hah we’re so jaded!

Post # 15
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My fiance is AF and he’s wearing his mess dress on our wedding! His military groomsmen will also be in mess dress and civilian groomsmen will be in tuxes. Handsome!

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