Who's husbands helped with thank yous?!? How did you get them to help?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Did you husband help with thank yous?
    Yes : (17 votes)
    26 %
    No : (19 votes)
    29 %
    Yes- but I still did the majority : (17 votes)
    26 %
    Yes- we split it 50/50 : (13 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 2
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I just said, “hey babe, we need to get these out soon, will you please sit down with me for a little while and we can bang them out?”

    I find that simply asking nicely and making it fun rather than a chore (we wrote ours while watching orange is the new black) made him more willing to do it. We got 115 done in just a few hours. You can also encourage him with sex, lol.

    Post # 3
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We just sat down one Sunday with a pizza and football on, I wrote the thank yous (all 300 of them) and DH addressed the envelopes. It worked for us. 

    Post # 4
    4911 posts
    Honey bee

    My DH didn’t help with writing the actual notes. I wrote all of those. But he did address the envelopes for me.

    Post # 5
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Boxerlover24:  Ok so this system seems lopsided to most but it works for us…and it is how we have done all the cards, Christmas, holiday, birthday ect….so thank yous came as no different….our system is: DH has horrific handwriting…I mean aweful….poor dear sometimes cant even read his own writing somedays….so here is what we do

    I write and DH dictates..so it did work for us…and we wrote notes as we opened so we could personally thank everyone with a personalized message from each of us…

    it works…plus I write more on a day to day basis for work…so its less odd for me to write a ton in a few sittings…

    we also broke them up and did like 10 a day so we wouldnt get burnt out….

    and I just asked him to get involved….basically…hey huni these are your friends/family/guests too we both need to be involved….so since i wrote he was a trooper…

    Post # 6
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    We just finished our thank you notes.  DH looked up the addresses and wrote them on the envelopes and I wrote the messages on the cards.  I still did the brunt of the writing, but it was nice to have some help. 

    Post # 7
    42135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Of course he helped. We are both adults and will benefit equally from the wedding gifts.

    Honestly, it doesn’t take that long to do thank you notes. People build it up in their head like it’s some monumentous task.

    Pick an evening when you are home together, open a bottle of wine and tell him “We are doing thank-you notes tonight.”

    Post # 8
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I wrote all the thank yous and addressed the envelopes because my DH’s handwriting is pretty awful, he stuck them in the envelopes, sealed them, stamped them with our return address and added the postage stamp. We spread them out and only did 5-6 a night while watching a t.v. show, that way my hands didn’t hurt and I didn’t get overwhelmed. 

    Post # 9
    1491 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I wrote all of them, he signs and seals them. 

    Post # 10
    2428 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Agreed with PPs about sitting down one night and doing them together. Some people work better individually and others as a team. 

    Post # 11
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I wrote all the thank yous from my shower.  It wasn’t his shower, it was mine.  The thank yous came from me.  

    When addressing the invites, I did all the ones we had addresses on hand for during a day off when I had nothing to do.  He dictated addresses to me when we were at his parents’ place (we were stealing addresses from his mum’s book. And Irish addresses confuse me.  I don’t know when to start a new line.  In fact, he said ‘newline’ at one point and I diligently wrote that on the envelope!  We sent it like that.  It was to one of his buddies and he thought it was so funny he refused to let me write a new one.) 

    For thank you gifts, I tend to write them, he has horrid hand writing.  I read it all the time and even I have to work to descipher it.  He stuffs them, licks the envelopes and stamps them.  Fine with me, that’s the gross part.  (We’ve had a few wedding gifts arrive, those we’re doing as we get them.  But I would think we’ll do the same when the bulk of the gifts arrive.)  If I’m stuck for what to write I get him to come up with it and I just transcribe it.  He did sit with me while I wrote all the shower thank yous and helped when I was stumped with what to write.

    Post # 12
    4043 posts
    Honey bee

    Boxerlover24:  I divided them up and gave DH all the one’s for his family and friends, plus a few more. I asked that he helped write them because we both were recipients of the gifts. Luckily, it wasn’t contentious or drawn out.

    I would suggest just sitting down with your DH and doing something similar. Perhaps allocate a time for you two to do them together while watching tv or ask him to finish x amount before November 22. 

    Post # 13
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I got all the envelopes stamped and used our return address embosser.  I put a small post it on each one with the guests name and the gift.  I will write and address the notes for my family attendees and “my” friends and he will do his family and “his” friends. (friends can get tricky because now they are both of our friends, but I split it up by whose friend they originated with, if that makes sense).  I made it easy with the post it system, so all he has to do when he has a few spare minutes is pick up a card, look at the name and gift attached and write a quick note.  We talked about some good thank you card sayings as well so he had a list of nice ways to say thanks.

    Post # 14
    608 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We split them up as well, I did my friends/family, and he did his.  We wrote longish personalized notes for each guest so it worked out well.  We also did about 10 a day each so that they wouldn’t feel like a chore.

    Post # 15
    3248 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We each did 5-10 each night after dinner at the same time until they were completed.

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