Post # 1
My parents are paying for the majority of the wedding. My FI’s parents are only kicking in for that which is assumed (rehearsal dinner, boutonierres and my bouquet). So I want the invitation wording to be very traditional and just state my parents names on it….is this appropriate when his parents are helping a little?
I guess I’m just bummed that they didn’t offer to help with anything above and beyond what is expected, yet are inviting A LOT of people so open bar and all the food is going to cost my parents quite a bit.
Post # 3
Its completely up to you but I would say since his parents are helping out a bit, and out of courtesy for your new in-laws, I would put both parents names on the invites.
We did “Mr & Mrs Brides Parents request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter, Bride, to Groom, son of Mr & Mrs Grooms Parents”
This way you are acknowledging both sets of parents but it is clear that your parents are paying for the majority of the wedding.
ETA – I know how you feel though, it worked out being pretty even but the original guest list was more his side than mine and my parents paid. However, his parents paid for the bar and other things like the rehearsal and brunch. You never know, as the wedding gets closer they might be able to chip in more. Maybe they just dont have the finances to do so?
Post # 4
I would definitely not put their names on the invite. And it might be too late for this, but you and your parents should definitely be able to set guest limits for your in-laws. No one should have to pay for significantly more guests than they would like.
Post # 5
@naangel55 I like that wording as a sort of compromise. I agree that I don’t want to hurt their feelings and it would probably be better to acknowledge them on the invite. It just really hurt my feeling that they didn’t offer anything above and beyond. My parents have been amazing my offering to help without any conditions. But his mom keeps offering up expensive ideas for the wedding and I keep saying “yeah, i’d like to do that, but it’s not in the budget”. It’s like she assumes we have all this money for the wedding that we don’t.
His family is also inviting all their guests (mostly family-but I have a small family) to the rehearsal dinner because she doesn’t think it’s fair to ask them to come for “just the wedding”. I guess I was just offended that she’ll spend all this money to entertain “her guests” and doesn’t feel like they should help with the wedding which is now going to be more costly than I had expected because of the guest list.
I honestly don’t care, it’s on wedding and it’s just this one day, but I guess I just wish his family would have wanted to share in our wedding instead of making it so divided.
Sorry, I guess I needed to vent a little 🙂
Post # 6
We did “My Parents request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Mermaid, to Fiance, son of Fiance’s parents.” My parents are also paying for most of it, but I wanted his fam included.
I don’t think the invite is the place to take out your feelings about who is contributing.
Post # 7
I think that you should use the traditional wording on the invitations where it just lists your parents as hosts.
Just tell your in-laws that you’re having a traditional wedding where your parents are serving as hosts and that their names will be the only ones on the invitations.
A lot of people use “son of …” to acknowledge the groom’s parents but a friend of mine and I were talking about this how we assume that the groom’s parents are partial hosts of the wedding when we see this on invitations and this is why we decided not to list either one of our fiance’s parents on our invitations and save the dates.
Since your parents are footing the bill for the wedding, they have the right to decide how many guests are to be invited to the wedding in total and then from there tell your in-laws how many people they are allowed to invite.
Post # 8
I would either stick with just your parents on the invitation, or “Together with their parents…”
Post # 9
I think we all tend to overanalyze the significance of stuff like invitation wording. Like, I’ve never once received a wedding invite and saw parents names on it and thought to myself OH SO AND SO’S PARENTS MUST NOT HAVE CONTRIBUTED or OH BOTH PARENTS PAID – like, seriously? Nobody does that. It’s about you and your frustrations with them not paying. I think you should go with the “…son of” wording. that way you’re essentially just acknowledging that they are his parents and it has nothing to do with money.
Post # 10
I’d talk it over with your parents to see what they prefer, since they are hosting the wedding. If it doesn’t matter to them, then I think you should list your fiance’s parents on the invitiation like was suggested above. I don’t think “son of” suggests that they are hosting at all.
I can see both sides of the argument, but I’m definitely not in favor of leaving anyone’s name off the invitation just to make it a point that they didn’t contribute as much finanically as you would have liked (or at all).
Post # 11
Thanks Bees, i think i’m going to talk to my parents about doing some sort of “son of” version. I don’t want anything to cause drama. but I also want to give my parents credit for their wonderful gift.
Post # 12
did you ask your parents?
Post # 13
We had the traditional wording with ‘My parents invite you to the wedding of their child to husband, son of his parents.’ They only contributed to the rehearsal dinner and bought his ring but I don’t see why the parents shouldn’t be included by name in this. This formatting does have them as the host, just the parent of the groom.