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I'm going back and forth about the bouquet and garter toss and would love to hear what other bees have to say! I'm not a huge stickler for tradition, but both my FI's and my family are. So, who's NOT doing these traditional things and why? :)
My reason because I hardly ever see it at wedding(maybe its just because im from oz).. but im kinda still sitting on the fence about it!
I hate the symbolism behind the garter toss! It started out as a way to prove to the bride's family that the bride and groom were, er, consummating. That's just a major ick for me, and since I'm not attached to the tradition, we're just saying no. I might do the bouquet toss just because my mom & FMIL love them, and may murder me if I don't. :P
I am not doing garter or bouquet toss. Just not a huge fan...no reason really. I think that it is fine for people to have them, I just don't want to.
I don't think we'll be doing either. As a wedding guest, I'm never excited about the bouquet toss, and neither are my single, female relatives. Also, I think I would be uncomfortable with the garter removal as spectacle aspect.
We aren't having a dj/dancing reception, so I don't think it will seem awkward when we don't gather everybody up for the tosses.
We're doing a spin on it because we don't have a lot of single friends anymore. We're both some of the last of our friends to get married and most of our un-married friends are in long relationships.
I thought about having all the married women come up and then something like having them put the garter on their husbands instead! Something about the older women in my family will make for a good bouquet toss! When was the last time your parents or aunts/uncles had a chance to participate in that stuff?
I won't be doing either also. All of my guests are in their late 30s and early 40's plus..It would seem weird.
we are not doing either because we are doing a destination wedding and will have only approx 30 people present. It is going to be a very casual wedding-- I have always thought of them as something you do with a larger more formal wedding.
I'm not doing it mainly because I personally don't care for participating in it when I'm a wedding guest. BUT, the primary reason is that most of our guests are couples and the single guests basically consist of my MOH and my 13 year old cousins. I think she wouldn't like that very much!
I have never not seen it done.
We aren't doing it
A) My Mr. feels really awkward and uncomfortable with fishing around under my dress for my garter and flinging it to his fam/friends who are all mostly married and really probably don't want to be holding my intimate little something. Can't say that I blame him lol
B) Some bouquet tosses are just plain awkward. Ladies have to be literally prodded and corraled by the DJ or DOC to stand in a clump, everyone moves toward the back so they don't REALLY have to participate. Some girls feel obligated to participate so as not to be rude or make the whole thing seem like a flop to the happy couple. I suck at throwing, and, um, I like my bouquet and want to keep it and I have no interest in having two made.
I think we're just avoiding the all around awkwardness for everyone involved lol
I'm not doing the traditional bouquet toss because first of all most guests at our wedding will be married and secondly I always hated participating in it at other weddings. So to put a spin on it, we are going to tie a gift card and maybe some scratchers to it and invite everyone up for a chance to catch it.
We aren't doing it either. I never liked the bouquet toss and since some of my female guests are older than me, I know they would't appreciate it.
I am considering giving my bouquet to the woman who has been married the longest (my FI's grandmother)
i am not doing either. i think the garder thing is creepy and just wrong. i am not doing the bouquet toss because i just dont like it. i think they are awkward things that people do at weddings that dont make sense to me. so..if it does not make sense i am not doing it :D
I've never been a fan of the garter toss, so I decided against it from the very beginning. My fiance's response to everything I decide against is: "But it's TRADITIONAL!" I don't care! I'm making my own traditions!
As for the bouquet toss, the vast majority of our guests are already married, and I really don't want to shine the spotlight on the few of them who are still single. Personally, I never really liked having to be "one of the single ones" at all the weddings I've attended in the past!
I didn't do the bouquet toss because it always made me really uncomfortable when I was single (even when I had a boyfriend but was unmarried-single). I always liked that scene in Sex & The City when they went to a wedding and just let the bouquet drop in front of them. I sort of feel like that.
And I just don't like the garter thing. I have actually never been to a wedding where they did that.
A nice alternative to the bouquet toss that I considered is when you have all the married couples dance, and then the DJ dimisses everyone based on how long they were married, and the couple left has been married longest (like 50 years or whatever). Then you give them the bouquet. It is a very sweet thing I think.
We're not doing either, we just don't care to participate when we are wedding guests so we didn't feel like forcing the tradition on our guests when we are not that into it.
we are not because of a few reasons. The single girls are dwindling down, so there would probably be like 5 - as a single guest in the past I was never fond of being one of the girls expected to go crazy over catching it, and I also don't want to add to the budget a bouquet to toss. We will do an anniversary dance however
Considering that pretty much everyone who will be there is immediate or nearly immediate family, we didn't feel the garter toss was appropriate. Besides, I've never seen it done before where it didn't look sleezy and that's just not us. I'm not a fan of my FI having to kneel in front of me while a stripper song is playing in a church and grabbing my undergarments to throw at people we know. I might buy a garter for him to find that night though haha! And there won't be any "single" women at the reception who will even be interested in the bouquet toss and I'm not going to make a special bouquet just for that since it's winter and flowers are crazy expensive. Besides, what are you supposed to do after you catch it? Put it in a vase or something?
I'm not doing either - we want to stay away from some of the more "traditional" parts of a reception, so having a bouquet toss doesn't fit in with the style of wedding that we're having... also, my single friends have mentioned how uncomfortable those things make them, so we're more than happy to give it a miss! :)
I'm not doing it because it's just not something done at weddings in the country I live in. Heck, I'm still debating on having a bouqet in the first place!
We're not doing either one. I had so many women say they hate the bouquet toss, so that was enough for me! I wasn't really dead set on the idea any way and I just want people to enjoy themselves. I just wanted more time for dancing too, so the garter toss went out the door as well! I don't think anyone will me them :)... I know I won't!
I'll be doing the bouquet toss to the song, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun hehe. But we won't be doing the garter toss mostly for propriety's sake. I still want to wear a garter and have him take it off, but probably not in front of everyone and not throw it... and all that... my family hates that tradition and neither of my two married siblings did it either. My sister actually did the garter removal privatively in the park outside the church with our mom and the photographer, the pictures turned out really cute!
We're definitely not.
In a nutshell:
(a) Most of our guests are already coupled.
(b) These traditions, in our opinion, serve only to make the single people in attendance feel singled out (no pun intended!).
(c) There is no freaking way that I'm letting The Guy go up my skirt in front of 200 people. Yuck. No thank you.
(d) It just didn't seem like "us", and we're doing our best to stay true to who we are, not just do things because they're tradition.
We are not doing either! Both my FI and I are 40 and most of our friends are married or in a committed relationship. The only single gals will be BM#2 and the flower girls so that would just be wrong! I'm not wearing a garter so that's out too. We are doing an Anniversary Dance and I will give the bouquet to the couple who has been married the longest. We want to celebrate the commitment of marriage!
I have been contemplating on doing either one. I hate being on the spotlight, so having all eyes on me... not sure about that. But I think that I dont want to miss out on any wedding routine. I am not sure...
We didn't do them. There were only a handful of single people at the wedding, and the only one actually interested in the bouquet toss was my 20-year-old cousin. As for the garter toss, uh no. I didn't even buy a garter, so yeah, there was gonna be none of that. We did do an anniversary dance instead, which was fun.
Not doing it. I think it's kinda awkward for guests "Hey YOU'RE SINGLE! Git on over here!" and also the garter part is tacky. FI's brother's wedding the groom was pretty drunk and he was under her dress for a while...while their kid they already had looked on. Gross. So basically I have never had a lovely experience and if someone didn't do it I wouldn't judge!
ALSO I am doing a clay bouquet and I am sure as hell not throwing it :-)
We're not doing it. I've only been to one wedding where they did it and it was awkward and embarassing for everyone. No thank you.
I'm not doing either of them because I'm trying to eliminate the cheese factor as much as possible at the wedding (no offense to those who like these traditions, I just think they're dated and kinda cheesy). Another reason I am not doing it is because almost all of my friends are married. I don't want to embarrass my 2 single friends by having them out there in front of everyone while I toss my bouquet at them. They were quite relieved to know I'm not doing the bouquet or garter toss. It's a win-win all the way around.
My bouquet isn't really tossable (and I'm not paying for a second bouquet just so I can throw it), and I kinda wanted to do the Anniversary dance, so we're doing that instead!
FI was too embarassed to do the garter thing, and I kind of want to keep my garter as a keepsake and don't really understand the whole wearing 2 garters, so we just decided to nix it.
we're not doing a bouquet or garter toss. we had originally planned to and then were like, "wait, why are we doing this? almost everyone we know HATES going out to the floor to try and catch them." so we stopped planning for one. I feel like it's one of those things that if you don't do it, no one will even realize you didn't nor will they miss it.
@Miss Yecnors We're doing the Anniversary Dance too! The DJ will have the "couple who has been married less than five hours leave the dance floor" Love it!! And then go until the last couple standing..I will go over and present the smaller bouquet to the wife and congratulate her.
I think the bouquet toss is OK if there are lots of single women (we will only have a few single women so I would never torture the women like that)
The garter is just wrong in my opinion..in public? In front of family? I don't like the idea-creeps me out actually.
No way was I going to put a big halt on our party to have my grandmother watch my husband fish something out from between my legs. To me, bouquets, garters, cake cutting - all a party foul. Keep the music, dancing, and booze flowing to have a good party.
Because I would literally die of embarrassment if Mike crawled up my skirt and took the garter off with his teeth. Hi, this is a family event. Also, there's hardly any single ladies coming.
Also, my friend's husband who did it said that his wife's legs were sweaty and gross. I don't want Mike's memory of me on our wedding night to be "sweaty and gross."
I am not wearing a garter or having it removed in front of people! Really uncomfortable with that. And there would be kids at the reception! (:
And I don't like the idea that girls are just dying to get married and should fight over a bouquet.
I also don't want to do a cake cutting, but I don't care that much so I might do it to appease my mom. I really dislike the whole shove-cake-in-face thing though!
Chillmer, just read your post -EEWWW!! That's just awful! Huge reason not to even consider doing it for me...
Not doing it bc it icks me out. Does my grandma (and dad?) need to see my FI fishing around under my skirt? Hell no. Do my single friends really want to be paraded out and battle over a bouquet? HELL NO. :)
I'm also really not interested in either. My mom is so sad I'm not doing the bouquet toss, but I HATED having to go up there when I wasn't engaged! So embarrassing!
I would have loved to do the anniversary dance, but FI and I both had a grandparent that died recently, and we don't want to bring up the fact that our grandparents (who probably would have been up there for longest marriages) are now widowed.
Are there any other suggestions? I was thinking of playing an oldie and having couples get up there and dance, and give my bouquet to the couple that had the best moves (we'd rig it to give it to an old couple, I'm sure). Any thoughts/suggestions on anything else to do?
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