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I don't have any friends w/ children, and all my cousins are too old to be my flower girl...so, I asked one of my mom's co-workers if her daughter could do it. I met the lady on a few different occasions, and she gave me lots of maternity clothes when I was expecting...
I sent her a cute card, asking if her daughter could be involved- and never heard back from her. My mom talked to her about it, and she said she would be honored...yadda yadda....
Fast forward. I emailed her a few days ago about ordering the dress for FG, and she responded telling me that they are having problems at home, and they aren't sure where this will take them. And she doesnt want to hold up my wedding plans...
I'm so frustrated right now! We have no flowergirl! It's going to be a very small wedding, w/ only a MOH and BM...but I think it will just be incomplete :(
I'm so sorry! I'll be honest. We never even considered having a flower girl. There wasn't anyone in our lives that we wanted to honor that way, so we didn't see the point. I think the only reason to have a flower girl is if there's a little girl (or two!) that you love and want to give a special place to on your wedding day. If there isn't, I don't think there's really any need for a flower girl at all.
I didn't have a fg, either. If there was a cute little one in our lives, at the time, probably we would have. But there wasn't, and I didn't really mind a bit. I'm a little too anal to be laid back about a fg or rb having a tantrum down the aisle, or something.
I'm not sure what the problem is with Fg's family. But if it's money (and you want a fg that badly) would it solve the problem for you to pay for her dress and other little expenses? Maybe your mom could ask?
** Wait a second. Do you have a daughter? Why not have her as a fg? She looks little (and cute!), but she's your daughter. Lots of babies are in weddings. Someone carries them down the aisle, or pulls a wagon or something. She'd be the cutest.
We're likely not having anyone, because there just isn't anyone special to have. My niece will be about 16 months, which is likely too young. We'll probably dress her up anyways, but I digress. I think there are lots of flower girl-less people out there, it'll be fine :)
We don't have one and while I'm sad to not have a small girl to dress up there is no one we are close to who will be there. FI was going to ask his God-daughter but her dad (his friend) just got hired for a new job starting the month of our wedding and won't be able to travel to the wedding so she'S not coming and while we could have asked friends of the family, FI pointed out that it does not make sense to have them for the sake of it since we've only ever really met the little girls twice.
I also think you should have your daughter do it, maybe an older cousin could carry her down the aisle and hten you would get to include them both.
@mrsmdphd - I'm on the same page as you. FI and I had serious discussions if this girl should do it, since she has no relation or sentiment to us, but we descided to go ahead w/ it... It's nice to know theres another bride w/ no flowergirl though :)
@tanya123 - I was going to buy the dress anyway...thats why I originally emailed the mother. My daughter will be involved, just not sure how yet. She'll only be 10 months old :)
We're not having a flower girl. We have special kids in our life, but they are all too young to be flower girl (our church requires children in the wedding to be five years old). Since none of the kids we are close to fit that category, we chose not to have a flower girl.
IMO, a flower girl is not going to make or break your wedding. Don't worry about it.
We don't have any little girls in our lives right now either. Honestly; if there isn't anyone close to you then it's no big deal. On the other hand; we have about 4 little boys that we can choose from... So we will have a little army of ring bearers. I think it's fine.
@slicey19 - that is a great idea to have an older coulsin walk the baby down the aisle!
Sorry to hear about your situation. My brother just got married and they chose not to have a flower girl and everything still looked wonderful. I'm sure your wedding with be beautiful.
We have a little boy and a little girl in our lives but are not having a fg or rb because I really did not want one. :) You're definitely not the only one.
Yeah, I hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like you're too close to this girl and her family. I think of a flower girl as someone who you are very close to, a godchild or a niece, or even your own daughter, but not just some child who you sort of know and happens to be the right age. We're not having a flower girl, and the majority of weddings I have been to haven't had one either. If the mom is trying to back out of this, she may have felt uncomfortable because she knows you guys are that close, but didn't know how to say "no". I say let her back out and just don't have a FG.
we arent having one for two reasons (and my FSIL actually has a 4 year old) -
1) the venue we are having for the ceremony is a historic chapel and you arent allowed to throw flowers on the floor for safety reasons (its a slate floor and is slippery - we cant have an aisle runner either)
2) i hate to be vain, but shes adorable, and while cute throws insane fits when she isnt the center of attention (shes just a kid so its not like i blame her or anything though) so im afraid that if shes IN the wedding she will draw the most attention - in both a good and bad way. and quite frankly, its supposed to be about the bride and groom.
but its ok to not have one.
my sister didnt have a flower girl because there werent any young girls she knew at the time to do the job.
I had 2 flowergirls initially for our destination wedding, but because of school and financial issues they will no longer get to come (or their parents). But we're okay with it! We figured that might happen with our wedding being so far away! It'll still be fun regardless!
I'm not having a flower girl... We don't know anyone who could be. If we were close to a little girl then we probably would ask her, but we aren't. My sister didn't have one either and her wedding was still great. :)
we never even considered having a flower girl. i have two young nieces who could do it, but i honestly didn't want to bother with coordinating even more people. plus, i want my reception to be adults only.
p.s. i love the idea of having someone carry your daughter down the aisle :) i saw this done once and it was ADORABLE---everyone was oohing and ahhhing as someone carried the baby down.
Thanks ladies!
I see it from a different point of view now :) I know we can still have a great ceremony w/ out one...I just didn't want people to notice I didn't have one, and aske questions lol.
We're not having a flower girl either. I don't think that a wedding is incomplete without one, especially if there are no little girls that are close to your family.
We're not going to have a flowergirl. We don't know any little girls to offer the position to and I'm not interested in having flowers strewn all over my church that we'd then need to clean up. I figure, my cute newphew will more then up the cute factor of the wedding when he brings the rings down the aisle. :)
Don't worry, I don't think it will be weird without one! I have only been to a couple of weddings that DID have a flower girl. We aren't having one for the same reason other bees mentioned, that we just aren't close to any little girls.
BTW your baby girl is adorable! I hope you can find a good way to include her! Maybe a bridesmaid could carry her as a little mini flower girl?
oh no!! You can DEFINITELY skip the FG and no one will ask questions.
We never even considered having one (I'm not real keen on children in general) but I do have some young cousins and I asked my mom whether my aunts would be upset. Her response? "Oh, do people still have flower girls? No, I doubt anyone would expect you to have one!"
Suffice it to say, it's not out of the ordinary to skip the drooling toddler and precariously swinging basket of flower petals.
Just chiming in to say we're not having one either. And we have tons of kids the right age in our family. None of my cousins had them either. I definitely don't think it's expected.
we're having a "flower-baby"--my niece will be about 15 months. but other than her (my brother and sil, who are a groomsman and bridesmaid, will carry her), we don't have any other little ones in our lives that we're close to really, and that's fine by me. fsil tried to convince me to ask the daughter of some distant relative of theirs, but in the 4 years fi and i have known each other i met the girl once. i'm not asking some random little girl to be in our wedding just to have a flower girl.
We aren't having a flower girl. We just are not close with anyone with children in that age range, and it is not worth asking some extraneously related or acquainted person's child just for the sake of having one.
I'm not having a flower girl. There's no one in our lives that is age-appropriate who we are also close with. I'm not concerned and like other responders said, I didn't think it would mean very much to me to just find a girl to do it if we weren't close with her. Your wedding won't be incomplete without one—it's you and your husband-to-be who make the wedding complete!
We aren't having a flower girl either. I also didn't have any children in my family so we just are skipping it. I wouldn't worry about not having one, I think your ceremony will be perfectly fine without one ;)
we are not having a flower girl either. Or ring bearer for that matter and we do have small children in our lives.
I have a nephew (he is also my FIs God son ) who will be 3 by the wedding, and FI has a God daughter that will be 5 by the wedding and we are not including either of them. I made the decision to not include kids in the wedding and i'm sticking to it :)
We're not having a flower girl either- no small children in the family.
We didn't have a flower girl or ring bearer - no small children in the family and we didn't want to have anyone in the party that we weren't close to. We ended up having a no kids wedding, so it worked out well and no one thought anything was missing.
mommie2adelyn: I'm in the same situation. I have 2 girls that I want to have as my fgs but my FI and the parents of the girls are not talking & have to work things out before anything can be discussed. Thanks for posting this, it helped me out too!
I didn't realize that so many weddings didn't have a flower girl. I thought it was the norm.
Just wondering thought, would it be weird if you had a RB and no FG?
We aren't having a flower girl or a typical ring bearer. We just don't know anyone close enough that we would want in our wedding, or even at our wedding. Our "ring bearer" is going to be 12 when we get married, so we are upgrading him to Jr. Groomsman.
Sorry that happened! We dont have a flower girl or ring bearer, we have no kids the right ages close enough to us. It doesnt bother me in the slightest not to have one. I think its better not to force it with someone your not close to you know?
Over the last five years, I've been to sooooo many weddings, and I can only remember two with a flower girl. I never felt the others were incomplete. So I think that most people wouldn't notice or feel that your wedding is incomplete. But, if you really want to have one, I'd encourage you to find a way :-) I love the idea of someone walking your adorable little daughter down the aisle as your FG.
Does it make you feel better if I tell you I don't have a ring bearer? LOL I just lost mine the other day to reasons I can't get into right now. So I now have flower girls and no ring bearer, but I have seen plenty of people get married without children in their wedding.
no flower girl here either, and no ring bearer... just 4 groomsmen and bridesmaids. We just dont know anyone with small children and the youngest person who will be at our wedding is FSIL.. who is too old for a flower girl and too young/immature for the bridesmaid.
So we left that whole thing out, i dont think it'll matter though.
we aren't having one either. no ring bearer - and actually NO kids at our wedding...
we just didn't know of any little girls - and the only little boys are way too young.
You may not even need anyone to carry the baby if by the wedding she is walking just give her a pomander ball and point her towards"daddy" everything will be fine
We're not having a flower girl or ring bearer. I see no problem with it at all!
No flower girl for me. I have a young girl second cousin who would be of appropriate age, but I am not exceptionally close to them. I don't want to have her in the wedding just so I could have a flower girl.
I think if your friend's daughter fall through, then just drop the flower girl. No need to cause yourself addition stress trying to fill that spot. It won't look incomplete & no one will wonder why you don't have one.
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