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I always see post about Parents or FIL's paying for weddings which is great! but I want to know who is paying for their own?
I feel very blessed and very independent that we are paying for are own wedding although my parents wanted to I feel like its my wedding and I should be able to pay for it and not rack up somebody else bill but my own.
We're kind of in between! The FILs and my parents are helping us out (very generously) and we're covering some of the costs ourselves. I think this is becoming more common lately, for those of us who are lucky enough to have parents/FILs willing to help out. So I guess I don't have a box, but it would be some sort of "all of the above!"
@Jessica22580 thats awesome : )
@lilyfaith Its always been common for parents to pay for the childs wedding thats why I did the post because its more uncommon for the bride and groom to pay their own tab : )
@sep - no, I meant sharing the bills between the bride and groom and both sets of parents - I thought that it was traditional for the brides' parents to pay, and the groom's parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner, and maybe one or two other things?
Like I said, we're doing a mash up of help. I'm paying for all the DIY materials, invitations, STDs, the wedding cake, cake stands, my shoes, decorations, the alcohol, and a lot of the other "little" things. My parents are contributing a set dollar amount, and the FILs are contributing things that they wanted (i.e, part of the cost of their expanded guest list, etc.)
Sorry if I wasn't clear!
We're about half and half. Total budget is 18K, my parents are doing 7k, FI's mom is doing 1k, FI's dad is doing 0, and we're doing 10K.
We were planning to do the whole thing ourselves and then our parents offered. Honestly... I feel really bad about accepting the money from my parents. I tried to decline it but my dad said that it would be an insult to him not to take it. Doing a super cheap under 7k wedding isn't an option either, because my mom is all about us doing a fancy schmancy thing and its super hard to even reign her into the 18k! haha. I'm also super grateful for FI's mom's contribution. She really doesn't have a ton of money so I think its very generous of her to offer us 1k.
Ah I see yes ive seen break downs on what the brides parents pay for what the FI parents pay for and for some reason the brides side always pays for more but who really follows the breakdown : )
That would be us! my FIL's are helping out with the cake/dinner. Everything else is all us.
@CorgiTales thats awesome we are spending a good amount too and we are getting help with the little things because my mom just insisted to pay for something haha.
@JustlikeHeaven Haha yes ive had that sad face plenty of times but be greatful you can pull it off not everyone can afford it : )
We are, and we are loving it! Whenever there is a suggestion we don't like..we don't listen.
You want a +1 for certain young guests who aren't dating anyone? Umm, no.
You want me to incorporate that tradition with the uncomfortable symbolism? No, sorry, can't do it.
You want to use your dog as flower girl(??)...well, you bees get the point!!
I am! It can get pretty stressful at times figuring out a way to pay for certain things, but in the end I'll feel proud and accomplished that I did everything myself! 
I think it's great that you are independent and don't want to "rack up someone else's bill"---but I'm also very independent and could afford a lovely wedding on my own. It is deeply ingrained the long line of my family that the parents of the bride always fit the bill. Sure, lots of people say it's a dying tradition, and it's great that people who's parents cannot afford to pay have alternatives. BUT just cause mom and dad are paying doesn't mean we're dependent on our parents---it means they want to doing something as huge and gracious as pay for our wedding.
edit: in many cases, this is something our families have been financially planning on--they would insulted if I did not follow tradition because giving us that gift is something they take great pride in.
@heatherp Yes its a stressful yet good feeling at times : )
@VirginiaMarie of course everyone has their resons....
I am not saying your dependent on your parents but I was speaking for myself and I feel blessed and very independent that we can do it ourselves....I wasnt speaking on behalf of everyone : )
FI and i are paying for about 40%..then my parents are paying for the rest. FIs parents may help out for things here and there too.
we feel lucky both of our parents want to help us where they can...but we also feel more responsible to pay for things because we are older than say, when my sis got married. (she was 24 and my parents paid for everything. everything. )
Like a lot of the previous posters, we are paying for some of it ourselves, and both sets of our parents have each agreed to pay for about 25%. So we'll be paying about half. Of course that could change once my FH's parents find out we're planning on moving in together before the wedding (BIG no-no for them). Hopefully that doesn't drain us of 25% of the fund lol. But that's another story!
It would be nice if my parents could pay for all of wedding, but I know they are contributing what they can and I am very grateful for that. I wasn't expecting any contribution so I am pleasently surprise and thrilled that they have offered.
We're paying for part, my parents are paying for part, and his parents are paying for part! I'd say my parents are probably paying the most, but we're all chipping in.
we had received help from a lot of people for example:
my mom: the cake and everything related to dessert
Inlaws: table, chairs, tent and the wedding will be at their house
best man and maid of honor: DJ and entertainment
so we are very lucky to have people to help us... all the other stuff we will be paying for it
FI and I are paying for it, well he is if I can't find a job. My parents offered some money, but life got crazy after that in their house and so if we get any money from them it will be paying for our honeymoon. If not, then we'll spring for it ourselves.
I'm paying for every penny of our $50K wedding. I can't really say I "wouldn't have it any other way" though. It would have been a nice gesture for my parents to help, as they can certainly afford it, but I don't think the thought ever crossed their mind.
We are paying for the entire thing ourselves. I am not so fortunate to have parents who are able to contribute money to the event, but the little they did offer I requested they use for their hotel and attire. I've been on my own for awhile and saving for awhile, and I don't mind paying for my party. It's one of those it is what it is type of situations.
My parents are paying for the reception site/dinner and my mom is paying for my dress. Everything else we're paying cash for.
We are paying for all of our as well. My mother is ill and my FI parents aren't in a position financially. Honestly, I can't think of one thing that they are paying for.
We're paying for it all as well. As much as we gripe about the price, the big thing is that this would not only be a wedding but a vacation (destination wedding!) for our family. We wouldn't know when we'll have an opportunity to vacay ALL OF US together, so why not?
I feel pretty darn proud to be able to do it - both of our parents had worked so hard, no way we'd make them pay for anything. We're paying for their airfare, attire, hotels, etc etc.
were paying for all of it except for a couple small things. my mom offered to pay for most of the wedding but we figured if we are old enough to get marreid then we should pay for it. plus are parents arent well to do so i cant imagine them having to pay for OUR wedding, tis not their responsibility. not putting down anyone whos parents are paying for it, i think thats great too! :)
We are paying for most of everything. The only thing that is being paid for us are the flowers because my mom wants me to have a really big bouquet and it was one area we could skimp on if we had to. So she's picking up the tab for it. It also helps that our DJ is free. I have been scouring the internet to find everything I could on sale. So it's hard but totally worth it :)
I really do admire the bees who pay for it all themselves, that is awesome.
A year ago I bought a car. My parents are very well-off (not Donald Trump level, but they are beyond comfortable), wheras I am your typical broke grad student (PhD track, so it'll be awhile still). They offered repeatedly to help me with the car, but I was too stubborn....and then they eventually stopped offering. I will be paying for it for the next 4 years (which is fine, lots of people do), but it made my already tight financial situation reach a new level of discomfort. I mean, I can handle it and am still relatively lucky when you look at the world, but it is very tight.
When they offered to help with the wedding I decided not to do the same thing as I did with the car. We are paying for a few things, but they are really covering the big ticket items. And because of it we are able to have a much nicer shindig than if me & FI (also a grad student) were paying. So, I am less proud than I was with the car, but now we are just very grateful :)
Oh on the flip side though, FI's parents are not doing well financially, so we will do the rehearsal dinner (and honeymoon of course!).
We are def paying for bulk of it. FI family paying for out flowers and videography. However we got amazing deal on flowers and a family member does wedding videography for a living.
I voted the second option, although I'm not sure it fits us. Our "oddities":
We're paying for 97% of our weddings & receptions; each set of parents is paying for one Rehearsal Dinner. Both sets of parents could contribute & have generously offered to do so. But we declined for a few reasons:
But, to keep them from trying to find ways to contribute (& subsequently try to use their contributions to guide the vision of the wedding), after numerous offers from each set, we suggested they each host an RD...this is affordable for my parents, equal in contribution, & each set gets to run it how they want without messing with our wedding vision. Plus, it's two less things for FI & I to plan! Everybody wins.
Edit: just wanted to add that FI & I are LOVING planning the wedding together & actually enjoying the budgeting & alocating money. On at least a weekly basis, FI comments that this is fun & he's proud of what we're creating. So I just wanted to share the ridiculously happy couple who are are enjoying their financial freedom. (did I mention that we're not going into debt for the wedding either? So happy about that too!)
@walkunafraid wow thats a pretty penny...have you ever asked them about helping out?
@ des_salazar im sorry to hear about your mom : (
@carmel bride Oh good! yes let them help haha at least your paying for your car (blah car payments)
@Soon2bMrsWheeler its nice to know people : )
@ms.pascua your go girl lol its so nice that a FI who loves planning with you...And about the debt omg I could not imagine going into debt over a wedding if the funds are not in my bank account im def not using a credit card or taking out a loan so kudos on that too : )
Combination. My parents gave us a set $3000. His parents offered to pay for the rehersal dinner.
We paid most of the rest. My mom kicked in on some decor things and ingredients and baking for our cookie table. I think she bought some candy for the candy buffett. My Aunt also contributed to the cookie buffett and bought my clutch. Aunt let me some of jewerly.
FI's parents ended up buying the grooms cake as it was an ethnic cake related to their ethnicity. They also ended up paying the wine bill since our rehersal cost much lesss than his brother's had two years before. His older brother who was overseas and couldn't make it picked up the tab for the Keg.
So it was some of everybody, but majority us, the couple. I don't know our total budget yet, I never added it all up, but I think between 10,000 and 13,000 excluding honeymoon and e-ring.
We're paying for 90% of it ourselves. My mother paid for my dress, and my FILs are paying for the flowers. We were not really expecting either of them to offer, but are so grateful!
We're covering EVERYTHING and I'm starting to freak out a little about the cost!!!
we're paying for our own but my generous parents are providing the honeymoon and my dress. they want to help with more but aren't sure they will be able to. i'm THRILLED to have that!
we didn't expect anyone to help and will not ask for it. we want to have the party, so we're going to throw it!
Our ceremony site and musicians were free but we had to pay for our reception. FIL's are paying for the rehearsal dinner and honey moon. And my family offered to pay for some of the details.We are praying God will meet our financial needs for our wedding. I have a baby sitting job and my FI just does side jobs.
We are. I would say its more a proud thing for me. Basically, if I can't afford something, I don't get it. (Meaning everything, not just wedding) I was raised that way. I wonder what it would be like if I didn't pay for my wedding? It probably wouldnt be my wedding, there would be too much outside drama. hahaa :)
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