Who's paying for your wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Who is paying for your wedding?
    We are entirely : (57 votes)
    32 %
    Our parents are contributing heavily : (50 votes)
    28 %
    Our parents are contributing a little : (44 votes)
    25 %
    Our parents are paying for everything : (28 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    42460 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We paid for everything in relation to our wedding. We also made all the final decisions.

    Post # 3
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Since my finace is older then me, his parents are both passed on so we ( my parents, my fiancee and I) are splitting it three ways, although my parents are putting in the most and I will probably put it second most since I make more then my fiance.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1432 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We are paying for half and each set of parents is paying 25%. It is very generous of them. We try to let them have some say ie letting in-laws invite about 8 family friends I’ve never met. Doesn’t really bother me, the more the merrier! I think my fiance and I would still veto any opinion that we REALLY didn’t agree with despite their contribution. I think we would make decisions the same way, regardless of who is paying. We want to make our parents happy, but we also know that our parents want us to be happy. So it works out pretty nicely 🙂

    Post # 5
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My paid for my clothing, shoes. Jewelery, hair and make up. We paid for the wedding.

    In regards to your FFIL, unless your FI is willing to have a conversation with his father about his contribution I would couny that money out. Once you address and send out your STDs contact thr dad and let him know who made the final list from hus suggested 25 guests. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    BurlapnLace:  Sorry you are experiencing this.

    My parents paid for most of everything. I paid for the photographer, and a couple other smaller items.

    Fortunately, my parents still wanted my day to represent me and let me have the final say on all decisions.

    The only thing that was decided for me was the choice to not have alcohol. Because of several close family members that are recovering alcoholics, including my dad, this was not a big deal to me.

    I think it is crappy to extend a helping hand with conditions. I feel like if someone is paying for a wedding it is supposed to be out of love. I don’t really have any advice for you, just offering some moral support. I hope you  get it worked out soon!

    Post # 7
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    My parent’s are paying for about 2/3 of it by the end. They’re basically paying for the major vendors (venue, caterer, florist, 75% of photographer, cake, and alcohol) and I’m covering everything else decor and DIY wise (very little help from Mr. S which is another issue entirely). That said, I do check in with them on what I’m doing and see if they have opinions but I’ve been very fortunate in that they see my vision and are willing to let me go with it, even though they’re footing so much of the final bill.

    They know that I’m searching for the best deals possible and if I stay on track, their portion will come in under what they paid for my sister’s wedding 8 years ago.

    Funny story – I actually had to argue with them to allow me to contribute to my own wedding. haha. My parents are pretty traditional when it comes to their daughters’ weddings and they paid everything for my sister’s wedding except the dress. My argument was that she was 23 and just out of college/not really established. I’m closing in on 30 and have been in my career field for 7 years – I should contribute to the wedding. Basically, my way around it was to show them the contract costs and then hide everything else. haha

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  MrsEvergreen.
    Post # 8
    Member
    1397 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My mom put in a huge chunk and his parents put in a little, but we also put in more than half.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2126 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Our parents are paying for pretty much everything (basically a 50/50 split). So far, it hasn’t been bad. My mom has been really insistent that I remind everyone, including her, that at the end of the day, it’s our wedding, so we get to call the shots. That’s made me feel a lot better.

    If our parents were super controlling (and/or didn’t have very similar taste to what we like anyway), I’d be worried about ultimatums and holding money over our heads. As it is, I think things will be ok, with a few disagreements along the way.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4596 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My parents have offered a certain dollar amount for the wedding, which would include the reception, my dress, flowers, and photograhy. His parents have said that they would split the cost of the reception (rental, food, music, etc). We do not have a problem shelling out money for certain things (like getting a band instead of a DJ, transporation, etc.), or anything else that would come up that we don’t feel our parents should pay for.

    My mom has already been controlling with the little planning I have done, as she thinks I am going to cost her a fortune. Not true. I am looking for the most bang for my buck,  but also want a nice and fun wedding. It does help that the reception stuff will be split by all, so hopefully that wil alleviate some of her concerns.

    I am obviously very thankful for their offerings. My sister spoke to them this week and was pretty adament that they let us do what we want (we’re both in our 30’s), so I’m hoping that helps some – cos right now going to the courthouse sounds like such a better idea.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    My parents are paying 50-60%, his parents are covering the music and RD, and we’re paying for the rest.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My parents are paying for everything, so I beleive they should have a say. However, they’re VERY into us having what we want, and my mother has only put her foot down about one thing – she wants inner envelopes on the invitations. Which I probably would have done anyhow. They’ve been great. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

    My partner and I are paying for everything ourselves. Between us we only have 1 living parent, my partner’s Mom. She is not in a financial position to contribute and at our ages we would not expect it anyway. She also believes that this is our day and we should make all decisions.

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