Post # 1
Just wondering how many bees are waiting (or have waited) because of career choices. Going back to school, being in professional school, changing jobs, etc can all bring about changes in timelines, and I have read a number of posts by waiting bees stating that their SO is in school or they are waiting to find different/better jobs, etc.
As for us, we talk openly about our future, but we do not feel like it is the time to get engaged and married just yet due to our career choices. (SO wants to start his own business and I am currently an intern.)
My decision to go to med school and do things abroad have definitely influenced the waiting period for us, but SO has commented on how much better our relationship has gotten since I (ironically) started working 60-80 hour weeks! I think that it boils down to me being happier because I am doing something that I love, and that feeling has directly affected our relationship.
While I originally thought that my career choice could have a very negative impact on our relationship, it appears to be having the opposite effect. . .even though sometimes part of me really wishes we were already married!
So what’s your story?
Post # 3
My uni course (medicine) has definitely increased our waiting time. I don’t want to be married while in college. I just know I won’t be able to give a marraige the attention it deserves while still in school.
Post # 4
I’m actually in the opposite boat, so I wanted to share my story, too: we’re getting married sooner rather than later BECAUSE of graduate school. We’re in our last year of our undergraduate degrees right now, and my field–ministry–means that we have to be married before living together (as well as obviously religious reasons attached to my field). We knew we were going to get married, and it made the most logical sense to get married now so that we can save expenses by living together instead of seperately in the same city. We’re definitely both going to be very busy with graduate school, but I think no matter where we are in our lives–school, work, whatever–we are going to be busy, and we love having each other’s support through all the transitions that are coming soon.
Of course, not that I’m judging ANYONE for waiting because of career/school choices: I strongly believe to each their own!!
Post # 5
Hi, for us, it was partly per my request (, i mentioned how horrible i thought it was) i thought it would be redikulously insaine to plan a wedding during nursing school, and wouldnt you know it every girl i went to that tried, either pushed back the wedding or failed out….and then we wanted to get me established in a new job as an RN and would like to get married before i go back and really get into my APRN studies….*i get to take a little time off first*, and he is a farmer so while it does affect some aspects, like right now…its really hard for him to go ring shopping yay for gearing up to harvest…..(my life gets alot easier after this!) so we also have to work a possible future proposal around work for him…. so it does for us more so in a time way…
Post # 6
I think career choices kind of influenced our timeline. I met my FI 3.5 years ago when I was just starting a PhD program and he was working full time but not in school. He went back to school and we will both be graduating this Spring (May 2013). I didn’t know when he was going to propose, but he knew I didn’t want to get married while in graduate school. We got engaged in May 2012 and he thought that meant I wouldn’t do any wedding planning for a full year so I could focus on school, and then I would set the date for ~6 months later and start planning. Geez, men! Of course I started planning immediately, but I’m not worried about it interfering with school. If anything, it’s helping me get through my last year!! I didn’t want a winter wedding and didn’t want to wait 2 full years to get married, so we set the date for Sept 2013 which will be about 4 months after we graduate and move for new jobs (not sure where to yet, but definitely out of state). If we didn’t have school and new jobs on the horizon, we might have gotten engaged and married a little sooner, but no more than a year. There may never be a “right time” (for having kids too!), but there certainly are better times and you want to make things work for your life!
Post # 7
Definitely. If I hadn’t gone to grad school, we’d probably already be married! A proposal is (hopefully) coming within the next six months, but we’re waiting until I graduate to get married.
Post # 8
We wanted to wait until 1) I was out of college 2) he was into a phd program. Finally we’ve met our original criteria, about two years later than we wanted… and we’re waiting little longer now (months versus years) so that we can save enough money to pay for engagement/wedding purchases.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars
I was finishing professional school when we started dating and he had just started his PhD program. We have dated 3 years now and he made it clear that we wouldnt not be getting engaged until his PhD was finished. He defended in mid July…. and I’m still waiting. So, I think it’s coming and I think that school put it off. But, I may change my tune if I have to keep waiting
Post # 10
For us, there will never be a convenient time to get married, so we chose to get engaged when both of us were emotionally ready for it. I was 1 month into a 2 year masters degree and he was just starting his 3rd year of medical school when we got engaged. We’re having a longer engagement because of our conflicting graduate school schedules, but that’s really the only change our careers has had on our plans. We’re getting married 1 week before he officially graduates from med school, and 3 weeks before I graduate with my Masters in Education. So, arguably, we’re getting married right in the middle of all the chaos 🙂
Post # 11
Our respective career/school choices has definitely influenced the waiting.
Even though we had discussed getting engaged since our one year anniversary in 2011, the SO did not want to purchase my ring and his watch until after he completed his undergraduate degree on June this year. He has and the items have been purchased On the other hand, we’re not planning on getting married until 2015 because 1) we wanted plenty of time to save since we want to have a long honeymoon and 2) at this point, if I can raise and keep my GPA up and get funding, I’m planning on doing a postgraduate diploma and my Masters part time from the middle of next year whilst working part time. I want to have LOTS and LOTS of time to plan if I’m going to be juggling all of that lol.
Post # 12
My SO just finished his Master’s degree; he’s still waiting to receive his diploma even though all his final grades have been in for about a month now. We will be waiting because he would either like his raise to be approved at his current job before we get engaged and, preferably, he would like to have a new and better job before we get married. Thankfully, we are still looking at next fall, but there are no guarantees. I know we will get engaged and then married, so I am not worried. Also, I am just getting back to work (adjunct professor and substitute teacher at the high school level) which will help us when it comes to saving for the elopement or wedding.
Post # 13
FI was in his last year of school when we met and he already had a decent job
im a little younger so when we met i was 19 and still in school and not very sure of what i even wanted to do in the end, so i guess i was not on sure footing
im back in school now but i already had one diploma and a first job and we both got a pretty good understanding that i will most likely keep going back to school forever lol
Post # 14
We waited until we graduated from our undergraduate programs last spring. My husband just started medical school – to us, even though we know it’s going to be hard, it was crucial for us to get married so we could have this journey together. We’ve been together for almost 8 years now. If we would have waited until he was completely finished and officially a doctor….we would have been together for an eternity. I didn’t want to do the ldr thing while he was in school – we’re so used to being with each other constantly that it would have been extremely difficult. I didn’t want to move in with him in a strange new city without being married to him. I mean, I would have if we couldn’t have had the wedding, but we’d still be in the same financial situation as we are currently whether we were married or not.
Post # 15
I’m do glad I found this board tonight! My SO and I were just talking about this weekend and I was a little down because we are both emotionally ready and can’t wait to start this next chapter, but we want to be more stable in our careers.
I returned to school. I had my BS in culinary arts and just wasn’t happy so wenthack and got my degree ineducation. Now I’ve never been happier and am just playing the waiting game with my school district while I long term sub. My SO finally decided to go back and finish his degree in history and math. Because he works 2 jobs it will take him a year and a half to finish. Then 3 months ago he tore hisAchilles and things got put on hold again. I envision us getting engaged in a year and married in 2 to 2 1/2 years.
Thanks bees for sharing your stories! It’s encouraging and I’ve been debating just going for my masters, do maybe it’s time 🙂
Post # 16
This is true for us as well. My SO just finished grad school and while he is employed now, he is trying to break into his desired career field, Sports Administration. The poor economy/job market has not helped, and he really wants to be established and comfortable in his career before taking next steps.
I, however, finished up school a few years ago and I have begun to make pretty good progress in my career field (nonprofit marketing). So while I understand his perspective, it is hard that I am ready to settle down and he is still working toward career stability…