Whose fault is it….

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Whose fault is it, when In-laws forget your birthday?
    FI/SO/DH : (22 votes)
    27 %
    In laws : (41 votes)
    49 %
    both : (20 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2665 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    It’s mine. Sorry.  🙂

    I think i need some more info,

    Are they just not birthday people? How is your relationship with them? Have you pissed them off in some way shape or form?  Are they older/ oblvious? Do they just not KNOW when your birthday is?  ect.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @SillyFruit:  That is a sticky situation. Maybe he should call them to say and try to casually mention it? I do see why it would be awkward, but 7 birthdays? That is a lot and maybe he should even say that. Do your parents celebrate his?

    Post # 5
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @SillyFruit:  i can honestly say that i don’t really remember my inlaws’ birthdays and my dh reminds me or just sends them wishes for the both of us.

    i know that he reminds them when it’s my birthday.  if they don’t remember, i honestly am not offended.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8706 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I think this depends on how important birthdays are to you.

    I firmly believe that if you’re above 10, birthdays are optional. If someone remembers, great! If not, well, the world isn’t going to end.

    If they are important to you, that’s all well and dandy but it is a bit presumptious to walk around going, “Remember now, my birthday is next week!”

    I’d have your SO work it into conversation if it’s that necessary, but I personally don’t feel people need to be called up to tell them to wish you a happy birthday/send you things/send a card.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1838 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    i picked both but really, no one?  if they want to remember they’ll write it down–maybe they just aren’t that into birthdays.  my in laws arent super into gifts or anything and def don’t remember my birthday (DH and i have been together 9 years) & i really dont care

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Hyperventilate:  I’m in total agreement with you about this.  However, in my husband’s family, everyone gets a huge special dinner just for them.  This is so important that we aren’t even considering leaving for our honeymoon (late, we’re going in June) on a day that could conflict with my husband’s father’s birthday.  He will be like 67!!!  Who the hell cares??!!  UGH.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    maybe they just dont see birthdays as a big deal for adults i wouldnt sweat it

    DH always reminds me of his families birthdays so i think it should work in reverse too

    Post # 12
    Member
    2665 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    Well then have Fi bring it up when it gets closer to your B-day. or when you see them say something along the lines of ” Fi and i were talking about doing blank for my birthday, its this day”

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    MIL’s birthday is the day before mine, but we’ve never exchanged happy birthdays! And we actually do know when the other one’s is. And we get along great!

    I don’t think its anyone’s fault.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My future ILs always remember my birthday, but I only remember the months of theirs. I’m not great at remembering birthdays beyond the month except for SO and my parents. So, sure, he could remind them a few weeks ahead of time, and they could write it on the calendar. I suppose I vote both.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1549 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Its life. My in laws forget, my parents forget DHs. We don’t even notice half the time…but,. If its really that important to you that your in laws do something then have your husband bring it up in casual conversation before hand … “Wife and I are going out to dinner to celebrate her birthday on Friday”…. I inadvertently do that with my parents and usually its ” omg I forgot it was his birthday!”

    Post # 16
    Member
    3128 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I remember DH birthday because it is on a holiday. I remember my mom’s because it out was our voicemail passcode. I remember my bestfriends because we are 1 week apart and we have been close for over 10 years. 

    For everyone else in our family, my mom sends out a “birthday fairy text” to remind everyone to text, call, or facebook the birthday boy or girl. 

    I think DH should remind his parents (maybe just bring it up in conversation that week?) but try not to take it too personally if they don’t remember!

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