Post # 1
I’m 2 weeks away from my fabulous wedding and I can’t wait for it to be here! Evidently some of our family members are also seeing this as the wedding they’ve never had as well. I am SO not a girly-girl, I’m trying to embrace it for the wedding because I’m sure I’ll cherish the photos for ther est of my life. Anyways, I can’t help but get annoyed with this sort of behavior.
My FMIL told me that she wants to keep her day-of-wedding outfit kept a secret so that she could have a reveal to the family on the wedding day. She wanted the photographer to capture the moment (I told her there wouldn’t be time – not happening). She also plans on carrying her 8 month-old granddaughter down the aisle – mind you, she got the baby a white christening dress to wear (flowergirls are wearing whimsical yellow/silver outfits, me -the bride- is wearing ivory, intentionally no white). I don’t really care about the procession as much, but since we are having a small procession, I had to break it to her that we aren’t having parents highlighted while getting to their seats. I’m sure she’ll still figure out a way to highlight herself and the baby since she wasn’t happy with my response.
I’m only having my sister as my MOH – no other wedding attendents for me – so I told her I didn’t really care what she wore. She got a dress about 6 months ago – I never asked to see a picture or anything. About 2 weeks ago, she told me that she doesn’t fit into that dress and is on the market for a new one. She keeps telling me that the dress she really likes is $300 but doesn’t want to pay that much (basically she’s waiting for me to offer to pay for it). I just don’t say anything, I know she’ll figure it out – but you have any dress to choose from – and it causes such unnecessary drama.
Lastly, I arranged for a stylist to come to do everyone’s hair and my makeup. I assumed no one else would get their makeup done since it’s rather pricey and I’ve never seen anyone else but the bride get their makeup professionally done before. Fast forward a few months – now both my sister and FMIL are getting their makeup done as well as getting false eyelashes. They actually asked if they could get the bridal hair & makeup package that the stylist offers since they wanted trials for everything. My FI and I are paying for all of these services as gifts, I had no idea how quickly things like this can spiral out of control.
Like I said, I’m really looking forward to the entire event – but I can’t wait to be done with this sort of ridiculousness. I can’t wait to go back to my ponytail and running clothes. I’m at the point where I’m not even going to say anything else to these people about how I think they’re not exactly making things easy and simple for me – there’s no point. FI and I can only just complain to each other and try to laugh about it.
Anyone else have similar issues?
Post # 3
Oh my gosh!! People can be so rude!!
You and your FI are doing the right thing; try to just laugh about it!
It is YOUR wedding!
Post # 4
Don’t pay for her dress. And do you have to pay for their hair and makeup? I was MOH at my sister’s wedding, and it never occured to me that she should pay for my hair (I did my own makeup). I’m not offering to pay for my MOH/BM hair/makeup. I’m doing my own makeup, and someone is coming to do hair, but I’m not paying the whole hair bill (unless no one but me gets hair done).
Post # 5
i think some of your family is definately going overboard, but I do have to speak up and say that when I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding she paid for us all to have our makeup professionally done. She said it was so we could get airbrushing that would last all evening. I suspect it was because myself and another bridesmaid hardly ever wear makeup. The makeup made me look a bit weird (my own mom didn’t recognize me until I was half way down the aisle) but whatever.
DO NOT offer to pay for your sister’s dress. She’ll find something.
Post # 6
You need to put your foot down and explain to the MOH and FMIL that X amount goes to hair/makeup, anything above that is on them.
Post # 7
@EastMeetsBarn: I’m not paying for the dress – I could just tell that she was waiting for me to offer. As for the hair and makeup – I had originally offered to pay for everyone’s hair to get done. I don’t mind paying for their makeup, really – but I just thought it was a bit inappropriate to just add on a $75 service to something that was already a gift. Mind you, I was already patting myself on the back for including my FMIL with the stylist…how wrong I was.
@JenGirl: Thanks for the perspective – I’ve never seen anyone but the bride get their makeup done.
Post # 8
My 2 friends that are in the bridal party were super excited about having professional makup done, so that is why I’m having makeup done at all! I am offering to pay for $50 of their beauty for the day of. my MIL is also getting her makeup done, my mom has sensitive skin so that isn’t really an option for her.
My FI is an only child, and my MIL is definetly thinking our wedding is also her time to shine. She’s definetly going a little bit over the top, getting a hair trial and being super excited — buying a dress that is a bit above what she was looking to pay. She does make a little fuss about it, but that just her personality. It sounds like your MIL is taking it a step beyond what I’m dealing with though, because my MIL is very quick to defer to the two of us.
Post # 9
@manako: It’s good to know that it’s not that unusual – I really just don’t want to be going around collecting money from people. This is my FI’s second wedding actually – and his brother was married last year. I’m not sure what’s going on here – I thought it would have been out of FMIL system by now.