Post # 1
I have a question for you bee’s? Is it wrong to have two bridal showers? My maid of honnor was planning on throwing one for both families to attend. ( The groom’s and Mine) I got a phone call from my future mother and law and she want’s to throw me one for just her side of the family. I really just wanted one big one where everyone can meet beofre the wedding. Is it wrong to tell thanks,but no thanks! let’s just have one?
Post # 3
No, I think having more then one is normal. I know a bunch of people have a fmaily one, then one with friends or co-workers. But if you only want one then just tell her you will invite them to the one you already have planned.
Post # 4
I think it’s rude of your FMIL to throw a shower that excludes your side of the family. Maybe that’s customary somewhere but it just rubs me the wrong way.
Post # 5
Well, since you already have one shower planned for both families, is your FMIL going to be inviting the same family members that are coming to the 1st shower? Or is she throwing a 2nd shower for a ton of her family members who aren’t coming to the 1st shower?
If she has a huge family, maybe she’s trying to save your friends from spending a lot of money entertaining them. So maybe she’s just trying to be helpful?
I don’t really think this kind of thing is “wrong” I mean weddings are so completely different. What one person thinks is appropriate, another won’t.
Post # 6
Totally not strange to me. In fact, often times in the south you might have one person throw you a “Linens” shower, one throw a “Lingerie” shower or a “Kitchen” shower. I personally would feel lucky to get only one shower, but it’s definitely not strange.
I doubt they mean to say that they don’t want to meet your family, but maybe to them it’s their way of having an intimate day with you. I would think that they would feel more comfortable telling family stories, giving advice, etc with your family not around.
It’s totally your call if you don’t want to split them (and I think you have a point) just wanted to point out another perspective.
Post # 7
Not wrong at all to have two bridal showers. I am having two but that’s because my mother in law would like to plan one for me and she doesn’t live in the same country. So my mother in law and American family will have a shower and then my family and friends will have a shower here at home. If my inlaws and new soon to be extended family lived near by then I would want them all together so they could get to know each other, etc. However it could just be that your mother in law really wants to plan one for you, which is really nice of her.
Post # 8
I had 2 showers, one that one of my aunts threw for me in the area that most of my extended family lives (so it was just my side of the family) and then a big one in my hometown that the local friends, and grooms family were invited to. I think it’s normal to have more than one.
Post # 9
Nothing wrong with 2 showers. If you have a FMIL that wants to be involved – then I say let her! It’ll help ease some of the financial obligation for your friend.
Post # 10
I think two showers is one too many, but this really comes down to what is considered customary in your social circle. Given the expectation that the bridesmaids and close family will attend all the events, I think having two separate showers isn’t quite fair on those folks. Plus it tends to lead to some “event fatigue” among your guests who, even if not invited (like a co-worker who is invited to one shower but not both) will still hear you talk about it, see it on facebook, etc etc. At some point it just becomes too much going on.
I’d recommend asking your MoH and your FMIL to get together and plan one big shower with a comprehensive guest list.
Post # 11
I am on the same boat right now and it’s causing me stress. My MOH and BM’s were planning to organize me one Bridal Shower (I have about 40 ladies to invite, including family & friends). I found out yesterday that my MIL plans to host one for the women on the Groom’s side of the family (but, kindly, she said my Mom will still be invited that one!!) So she wants me to have two bridal showers and I can invite my friends to the other one.
I was really looking forward to just one big bridal shower, I wanted all my friends and family there together.
I get that there’s a lot of people, so maybe it’s easier to split it up, but there are people who I would want at both (like my Mom, MOH, BM’s) and it seems like asking a lot of them to give up 2 days to attend 2 of my showers.
CAn anyone who has had 2 bridal showers, help me out here?
Post # 12
Two showers is reasonable. You could maybe do three bridal showers, one for yours and fi’s family and one for your friends and one for coworkers.
Post # 13
I think its normal. My friend had one at work, one from her church, and one from her family. I’m having one at work and one with my family.
Post # 14
@May312014: As someone who has hosted huge showers I say have two. It drives me up a wall when I offer to host for a cousin or someone and they end up inviting all their friends and inlaws. And inevitably the MIL has to invite a few more… it just becomes too much. It’s like hosting a mini-wedding.
I think you can invite your mom, sister and BMs to both but I wouldn’t expect anyone to go to more than one. I’m likely having three showers (I have a HUGE family) and hope my BMs can make it to at least one but I wouldn’t expect them at all of them.
Post # 14
Similar situation. Fmil and FSIL started to planned one before the one my family/BMS wanted to hold. They wanted a separate one because they wanted to invite thier friends and extended family. Plus my fiancé parents are divorced so it’s even more tricky.
It’s not something my family does. But are hosting one for everyone. I feel uncomfortable asking for gifts.