- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
ya that is a bit weird. i am all about having the best reception i can afford at my destination wedding. we are having a legal ceremony on the beach, followed by a dinner for 2 hours for everyone (private), then a 3 hour bonfire party on the beach. Also, i made sure to arrive on the same day as most of the guests and rather than staying a full week like most people, i am staying 6 nights and then having a 4 night honeymoon somewhere else. i think that still gives me a good amount of time to spend with my guests. i would never dream of doing it the way you described.
they seem to want the DW experience and in most wedding packages, the bride and groom get a private dinner for two. i have that in my package, but i am not using it. or maybe we will use it a different night, but the wedding day is to celebrate with everyone.
maybe they figure that those who attend are going for their own vacation at the same time. if i were you, that would be the only motivation i had.
I agree that that's a bit odd and, I'll say it, selfish. They want people to come to their ceremony and then leave? I mean that's a lot of money. I guess what PurpleUnicorn said makes the only bit of sense - you get a vacation out of it. But I prefer to plan and choose my own vacations. :/ Meh.
Yeah, I'm completely mystified by the whole situation. But when I mentioned to my husband that I thought it was kind of selfish and I might stay home and just attend the at home reception, he flipped out about how mean I'm being. So, I'm trying REALLY hard to be gracious and non-judgemental... to limited success.
Like, if you really just want pictures on the beach in your wedding dress... couldn't you pack it and have some taken on your honeymoon?
@SapphireSun: I totally don't get where your H is coming from. Seriously, he doesn't see it?? I mean what does he expect to get out of this experience.... Eh. I'm sorry. Maybe it can at least be turned into a nice vacation for you guys, but really I'd be kind of miffed too.
That is not a typical destination wedding. Most have entertainment (reception for their guests) They should just have a private wedding for just them. It is rude of them to ask you to go.
But to answer your other question people have their reasons for a DW. Here is a recent thread:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-did-you-decide-on-a-destination-wedding
My explanation is there as well.
@AmeliaBedelia: I think he sees the selfish part, but thinks it's mean that I would actually consider not attending. I pesonally doubt she'd even notice.
Oh, except for the fact that they're planning for everybody to go to a luau the night before, not as a rehearsal dinner, but their joint stag/staggette. Ie, guests pay for themselves AND the bride and groom.
Oh my it gets worse. You should send her a wedding ettiqette book or something.
@SapphireSun: Seriously? Wtf. Sounds like she just wants to spend loads of money, and have money spent on her. :/ Too bad it's family! Otherwise that would be a big, fat "Hell no." My mom would've slapped me if I'd had an idea like that and been like "Fine, go by yourself."
@SapphireSun oh wow. is she even doing welcome bags i wonder? i spent too much money on my welcome bags. but i couldnt help it. i always kept thinking "well they are spending over a $1000 to be there for my wedding" so i kept justifying spending more money on stuff for them!
Definitely seems odd. I chose a DW because I thought, "If we're going to spend all that $$ on a wedding, I don't want it to end after four or five hours - I want it to last all weekend long!" LOL So yes, for me, it was about maximizing the time and the fun of having all of our favorite people gathered together in one place. We even had the ceremony/formal reception on Friday night so we could relax and spend time with our guests all day Saturday as well as Sunday morning.
At this point, it's probably not worth trying to convince your husband of anything; it will only make you look bad and it won't change the fact that you pretty much have to go since it's his sister. I would just accept it, and make the best of it by planning it as if it were your own private vacation with a brief interruption to attend her ceremony.
@PurpleUnicorn: I'm with you on the OOT bags... I went a little crazy myself. Just kept finding cute, irresistible things to include - to the point that the bags weren't big enough in the end! haha
i am getting married in Turkey, just me and my partner, our kids from previous marriages, and there partners.....8 in total, and considering how much it would have cost us in the UK....we are paying for everyones flight and all-inclusive accomadation to come with us, because we know they wouldnt be able to afford to come if we didnt do that. i am not rich by any stretch of the imagination, and i am not suggesting that its wrong NOT to pay for your guests, but we have decided to do that, and STILL have saved a bunch of money by not marrying in UK.
If we had married in UK we would have felt obliged to invite friends and family from all over the place, costing a hell of a lot of money. we will be going for 2 weeks, and our kids...(adults) will be going for a week. if they want to extend it to 2 weeks then thats at their own cost. but as they are all either just started work and out of Uni, they dont have a lot of money, so we booked them all inclusive too so that if they run out of cash.....they can still eat. i have also booked a few special days out together so that we can spend some fun time together, before and after the wedding day, so they know they are appreciated.
this is just the way we wanted to do it. and our wedding in total has cost less than £7,000, for everything, thats a honeymoon aswell!
but the lady above,! oh my! thats so greedy. i would just tell her i am not going .....end of. if she wants all those people to attend her wedding, then at the very least, stay with them, and show them you appreciate the time and money it cost them to attend YOUR perfect day.
OP - why don't you talk to your sister and ask her if (and why) she wants you there? I agree what she is planning is not a typical DW, but maybe she has her reasons?? (BTW - We are doing a DW because 1/2 of the VIPs are from Chicago and 1/2 of the VIPs are from PA. And we met in FL. And we really like FL. And FL is cheaper than VA. I could go on, but those are the big ones!)
That's so strange. We are doing a destination wedding, but we have events every single day with our friends and family. It's basically like a group vacation, and we are also doing welcome baskets, reception, etc...
We're doing a destination wedding ... we're from sydney australia and we're going to the whitsunday islands ...... it is perfectly legal and it is exactly what we both want. since my FI has a HUGEEEEEE family (who dont even give him the time of day but who all expect an invite) and i have a tiny family we thought we'd just invite who we want, have our wedding the way we want and do it our way :)
we r paying for their accommodation all the guests have to pay for is their airfare, and they get to stay the weekend there on the island :)
another reason we chose it is coz i havent ever been allowed to sleep over or go on holidays with anyone other than my parents, so having our wedding at a special destination seemed ideal :) plus, we get to stay in a luxury resort for our honeymoon!! and then we'll go to our proper honeymoon in europe :)
@PurpleUnicorn: I know what you mean when you say you went OTT on the OOT bags...lol I just had to say it like that! I ended up making a Welcome Bag with a welcome note outlining the events to come plus contact numbers, cactus candy, jalepeno popcorn, and other Arizona/Southwestern themed goodies, plus a bottle of water. These were given to guests as they checked-in to their rooms. My favorite detail of these were the "Eat, Drink and Be Married" ribbons I bought from Michael's to close the bags.
A couple days before guests were due to arrive I was at Sam's Club and decided to buy clementines, bananas, grapes, apples and some hershey's kisses to make a fruit basket. I had these already placed in the rooms. The guests thought this was the hotel's doing and we're all so thankful for it - it really made me feel happy that they appreciated it so much (especially coming from my husband's side of the family)
I think if you are having a destination wedding or having OOT guests, the least you could do is give them some refreshers on arrival.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| rachgirl82 | 33 |
| kate02121 | 12 |
| ndreighton | 11 |
| louiseW | 10 |
| ozpeony | 8 |
| Indecisivebride2012 | 8 |
| Lyndzo | 7 |
| abbie017 | 6 |
| cbeyelia | 6 |
| rivierabridal | 6 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| redband | 1 |
| Suikerbossie | 1 |
| afiggy | 1 |
DH's sister is having a destination wedding, and it's really a concept that I don't understand when all usual "VIP" guests live within a two hour radius.
I'm just curious why you bees that went with this option chose it?
In this particular case they're planning to be officially married at city hall to avoid jumping through hoops of being legally married out of country. They're planning to arrive at the destination the day prior to the wedding, and then are having the ceremony at the destination, followed by a private dinner for just the two of them, and then are being whisked away to their honeymoon that night which she says no guests will even know where they are because they don't want to be disturbed. They're then having a full on country club reception at home a couple months later.
All the reasons that I can think of for why people might want a destination wedding (a great weeklong time to spend with family and friends, opportunity to provide more to guests that are attending at the same cost of a big wedding at home) just aren't in play here. It seems like a lot to ask guests to spend thousands of dollars to come witness an unofficial ceremony.
We obviously have to attend, so I'm trying to figure out some great motivation for this to help me be more gracious about the whole situation.