Post # 1
Talking with my boyfriend lately has made me realize I’m in a rush to get on with the next phase of my life. Instead of just enjoying the moment, I want to move right on to the next thing. Example: I started “waiting” in February/March of this year. I have my heart set on getting engaged by the end of the year – but why? Why can’t I wait until next year? Then, boyfriend told me I could start planning our wedding. We’re shooting for October 2014. A longer engagement, but that’s fine. I got sucked into planning, though, and found my dream venue. But it’s expensive and books up 2 years in advance. Boyfriend suggested waiting an extra year if that’s the venue I really want – but I can’t begin to imagine being engaged almost 3 years. That’s longer than we’ve been together!
And why isn’t he chomping at the bit to marry me like I am him? He says not much is going to change when we get married (though we live together, I disagree – I’ve heard many people say marriage is nothing like living together), so he isn’t in a rush. I’m young (23) and he’s not (31) so that makes my eagerness even more strange. I tell myself that it’s because I just know he’s the one and want to start married life with him…but what if it’s something else? Like, seeking security? I don’t know. Thanks for reading my vent about myself.
Post # 3
I’ve heard that women want to get married when the guy is right. Men want to get married when the time is right. I feel that way with my SO. I am like NOW NOW NOW! He’s like “MONEY MONEY MONEY” haha. His side of things sounds logical, but I can’t help my feelings. I love him and want to marry him. He’s more concerned with financial security first. I guess that’s why we’re different
Post # 4
@newcitylights: Wow! We seem very similar. I am 22, my SO will be 30 this year! I am also shooting for 2014… we have also talked about the Saturday before new years (Dec. 2013), but that’s definitely one of those if-everything-goes-perfectly scenarios. I live with him already, too, and have for 2 years. He is just in no rush. Some days I am not either. Some days I’m content with the way our relationship is… I mean, I don’t want kids for probably 5 years or more, so there’s really no next big thing that we need to be married in time for! For me, I sometimes feel inferior to girls who are already engaged and have been with their SO for a shorter time period than I have been with mine (which is common around here). When we first started dating, after just 2 or 3 months, he used to tell me “with any luck we’ll be married this time next year!”. Of course, I’d have wanted to wait a while longer than that lol but all the same “this time next year” came and went…. and the same time of year another year after that lol… and still no engagement let alone marriage.
I think he is just more secure than me… which is probably a good trait to have. We are planning a life together, and I really just want to be engaged for the validation that this is really what he wants, not just something he says to keep me happy for the timebeing.
Post # 5
It really is a a “emotions” versus “money” thing. Girls are more emotional and its easy to forget about the other things that go along with a wedding other than love. Im in that boat right now. As much as i WAAANT a wedding like NOW, money is also an issue. Its gonna be all me and my SO paying for it, and while we have decent jobs, enough for a wedding in a time frame that I would like is not possible. I just gotta get through it and know it will happen. I dont understand the feeling either. I guess its a little bit wanting that day for me and him. Not in a “everyone look at me and my stuff” selfish way. Me and my SO have been through a lot of ups and downs in our lives and I so bad want that one day where we just get to enjoy and celebrate eachother.
Post # 6
Darling Husband and I had dated since I was 14.
By 18 I was ready to be engaged. I talked about marriage, weddings, rings etc until I was blue in the face.
He proposed when I was 19. We were married when I was 21.
I’m 23 in a few weeks so I am still very young.
I realise now though that waiting longer would not of killed me. I had an amazing wedding and lots of fun planning it but that is over for me now. Once it is done, it is done.. you can’t do it again so drag it out as long as possible. This is an exciting time, relish every minute of it (even the waiting!)