Post # 1
I thought that being engaged was going to be a blast but boy was I wrong. I was going to get a dress, pick a venue, have fun with my girls while enjoying this sweet stage before marriage. Now that Im a few months into it, I still am unable to commit to ANYTHING besides the dress. I spent weeks looking for venues, researching all day online and visiting them, trying to find one that would be a good value because FI and I are paying for everything. We got a great deal on a country club venue thanks to my FSIL who has worked there since being a teenager. They have graciously held the date for us without a deposit. But now my FMIL and my own mother have decided that we should not spend the money for this place and should instead be focused on a house or our future because this is “only one day” of our life. I was hurt when I found out they felt this way, because they are not helping us financially with the wedding, and because I love them both and I feel like they arent supporting us at all. I had a rough day last week so when I got home, FI surprised me and took me on a sushi date(my fave) and the next day, FMIL told me, I needed to decide what was more important, sushi or my wedding.
So now, Im questioning everything. I almost just want to elope and have an amazing destination wedding with just the two of us there because there would be no stress involved in booking it and getting on a plane and because Im not sure if we will be able to afford a nice honeymoon as it stands right now. But Im sure it would be hurtful to them, and my BMs have already purchased their dresses. Im not sure what to do at this point. We can have a country club wedding on the terrace with a reception in the ballroom for about $5000 with a full plated meal and a drink package for 90 people and in my opinion this is a steal. Its less than half of what they would charge anyone else to do it there. And after reasearching other places around here, I just cant find anything that even compares to that price, short of just having a church ceremony and a reception with no food, drinks, or wedding coordinator.
I dont know what advice I am looking for! I am just wondering, is wedding planning supposed to be stressful? What would you do in this situation?
Post # 3
Wedding planning is stressful. Like everything else about marriage, it’s nothing like the movies or what you see on TV.
Your venue sounds like an AMZAING deal. It’s your wedding, your life, and your money and you should do what will make you happy.
If you wait a year or two to buy a house, so be it. It’s not the end of the world. You will only get one chance at having your wedding, and if that’s what’s important to you, then do it your way. Yes, it’s a lot of money to have a wedding. The wonderful thing about money though is you can always make more of it.
As to the honeymoon, a few days alone at a B&B or a cottage out of town can be just as nice as something more extravagant. You can always delay taking your honeymoon.
Post # 4
Wedding planning isn’t stressful, it’s everyone else’s opinions that make it stressful. Seriously, be prepared for more unsolicited advice because you’re going to get it by the bushel. The way I see it is, it’s your money and your wedding and as long as you do what makes you happy and is within your budget, you shouldn’t be made to feel bad for your decisions. Best of luck and remember try to have fun with it.
Post # 5
NO! You should not be changing your plans because of other people influencing you. If a wedding is important to you and your fi, there should be no reason for you to change those plans because of other family members deciding how you should spend your money.
I would be so upset if my fmil or even my mom would make me feel badly for going out to eat dinner and making me choose between sushi and wedding. ugh.
In the end, nobody but you and your fi are paying for this, and if it’s good for you, it should be great for them. Also, the venue you got really is a steal! I think you should be firm about your decision (if you are ready to make that decision) and run with it! You have your dress, and if you want this venue, put a deposit down and shut everyone up!
You’re stressed out because others are stressing you. Show them who’s boss and that should make things a lot easier. I went through very similar in the beginning of wedding planning and when I stood my ground, things got easier and more enjoyable!
Post # 6
@SeaSalt: Thank you, I needed that!
I do feel like everything should be what we want since we are paying for it. My birthday is Friday and Im hoping that we dont get any unsolicited advice by anyone telling us what we should or shouldnt do on that day either.
Post # 7
@MissLacy: You’re welcome. We’re paying for our wedding ourselves too, and have no one telling us what to do, and I feel stressed and overwhelmed at time.
You have your whole life to take beach resort vacations. If you can’t have one right after you wed, it’s ok. It’s not the end of your life, it’s the begining. 🙂
Good luck and GRAB THAT AWESOME VENUE!!!!