Post # 1
Our friend and his new gf started dating July 31st and they just announced that they are pregnant on FB,. We are pregnant too, but were due April 27th and haven’t told many people yet since I’m only 10 weeks and we want to be engaged before we announce it. As soon as I read the announcement all I could think about was that they were stealing my thunder. A couple months ago our other fiends got engaged and I was so upset because I for sure thought we were getting engaged and then they did and I didn’t want to follow right behind them! I was excited that I could be the only one having a baby and not this! I know it’s selfish but I want the spotlight FOR ONCE. This was my only chance and now it’s gone, I know it’s bitchy but really?!? According to my math, they got pregnant after two weeks of being together!
Post # 3
I’m going to be upfront, I don’t see this thread going well.
People do not steal other people’s thunder. A couple’s decision to get engaged or procreate isn’t up for debate and/or attempting to undermine anyone else’s. I’m glad you understand how irrational it is and I hope that you’ll eventually see the light of having a friend who is pregnant and experiencing what you’re experiencing as a positive thing!
Post # 4
@beekiss: I know that it’s stupid but I always feel like I’m second best always following behind people. Like why can’t I be first for once
Post # 5
Life sucks sometimes. Just remember that you are bringing a child into this world. That’s all that matters, not who steals your glory.
Be happy. Some women can’t even have children.
Post # 6
Because life is not a competition, OP. And I doubt people will be less interested in you, or less happy for you, just because you’re not the first one in their entourage to live this experience. Why don’t you wait and see how they react when you announce it yourself ?
Post # 7
Sorry to say but you’ll never be the first. You’re not the first person ever to be engaged or have babies. Happiness isn’t a race.
Post # 8
@Ninteenthchance: Whoever is first doesn’t win a prize! People who legitimately care about you are going to be very excited!
Post # 9
I doubt you got preganant because your other friend got engaged, did you? Were you trying to steal her (non existent) engagement thunder with your pregnancy? Of course not, because that’s totally insane. Same thing here.
Also, as a general observation, I’ve come to notice that the “thunder” people talk about isn’t real at all. The people who are engaged/getting married/having the babies are over the moon. Everyone else emits a “yay!” and then they’re over it. It’s not really a thing.
Post # 10
@Ninteenthchance: No one is the first for anything.
Post # 11
People don’t have claims on life events. You’re having a baby, so I hope you can understand how petty this is. Maturity and perspective are needed here, and are needed as a parent. I hope you can find some happiness for your friend and realize that your own happiness shouldn’t be dependent upon events and circumstances, but rather on your own inner perspective. Read this, maybe it will help.
Post # 12
You are in a hormonal and vulnerable state. I’m going to give you a pass on this one (one time only though!). You need to remember that you are in a STEADY and commited relationship and are happy about being pregnant. Maybe they will make it, maybe they won’t, either way it’s going to be tough for them learning about each other and learning to be parents. People will be happy for you when you announce both your pregnancy AND your engagement. You will be in the spotlight because it is about YOU, and people who love YOU will care.
I’m due on April 26th by the way, so I’m in your boat, 30.5 weeks to go lol!
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@Ninteenthchance: I would honestly feel bad for someone who got pregnant 2 weeks after being together. Seriously?!
And you’re not bitchy. I have a theory that 99.9% of us are attention whores, deep down. Ain’t no thing.
Post # 14
I am fairly certain DH’s cousin is pregnant and so are we. It is a first child for both couples. They haven’t announced yet and we have only announced to family (in other words, my MIL put it on her facebook…). I can’t lie, at first I was a little perturbed because I thought that people may be less excited if we were pregnant at the same time. Common sense prevailed- if his cousin is pregnant I will be super thrilled and it definitely won’t take away from people’s joy about our baby.
Post # 15
Even if you announce after you’re engaged, people are still going to do the math (if they’re that narky about it) and know that it happened before you were engaged.
Waiting is hard, but I guess you just have to think that these girls might have had a hard time with waiting too! Teny probably went through the same issues, it’s just their circumstances are slightly different and so have announced their engagements sooner. It’s not a race, and I’m sure you feel your soon to be FI is the best of the bunch, so try not to feel too down about it.
And congratulations! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy.
Post # 16
@Ninteenthchance: A friend had the same due date as my first. It didn’t matter, we laughed and compared. And then she gave birth first. Again, it didn’t matter. Your family and friends will be over the moon regardless. Just breathe, and be happy for them. You are overthinking this.
p.s. And another friend got engaged after me and got married 2 weeks before in the same church. Again it didn’t matter.