Why am I such a bitch?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m going to be upfront, I don’t see this thread going well.

People do not steal other people’s thunder.  A couple’s decision to get engaged or procreate isn’t up for debate and/or attempting to undermine anyone else’s.  I’m glad you understand how irrational it is and I hope that you’ll eventually see the light of having a friend who is pregnant and experiencing what you’re experiencing as a positive thing!

Post # 5
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Life sucks sometimes. Just remember that you are bringing a child into this world. That’s all that matters, not who steals your glory.

Be happy. Some women can’t even have children.

Post # 6
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

Because life is not a competition, OP. And I doubt people will be less interested in you, or less happy for you, just because you’re not the first one in their entourage to live this experience. Why don’t you wait and see how they react when you announce it yourself ? 

Post # 7
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Sorry to say but you’ll never be the first. You’re not the first person ever to be engaged or have babies. Happiness isn’t a race. 

Post # 8
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Ninteenthchance:  Whoever is first doesn’t win a prize!  People who legitimately care about you are going to be very excited!

Post # 9
Hostess
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@beekiss:  +1. 

I doubt you got preganant because your other friend got engaged, did you? Were you trying to steal her (non existent) engagement thunder with your pregnancy? Of course not, because that’s totally insane. Same thing here. 

Also, as a general observation, I’ve come to notice that the “thunder” people talk about isn’t real at all. The people who are engaged/getting married/having the babies are over the moon. Everyone else emits a “yay!” and then they’re over it. It’s not really a thing.

Post # 11
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

People don’t have claims on life events.  You’re having a baby, so I hope you can understand how petty this is.  Maturity and perspective are needed here, and are needed as a parent.  I hope you can find some happiness for your friend and realize that your own happiness shouldn’t be dependent upon events and circumstances, but rather on your own inner perspective. Read this, maybe it will help. 

Post # 12
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You are in a hormonal and vulnerable state.  I’m going to give you a pass on this one (one time only though!).  You need to remember that you are in a STEADY and commited relationship and are happy about being pregnant.  Maybe they will make it, maybe they won’t, either way it’s going to be tough for them learning about each other and learning to be parents.  People will be happy for you when you announce both your pregnancy AND your engagement.  You will be in the spotlight because it is about YOU, and people who love YOU will care.

I’m due on April 26th by the way, so I’m in your boat, 30.5 weeks to go lol!

Post # 13
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Ninteenthchance:  I would honestly feel bad for someone who got pregnant 2 weeks after being together. Seriously?!

And you’re not bitchy.  I have a theory that 99.9% of us are attention whores, deep down. Ain’t no thing.

Post # 14
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I am fairly certain DH’s cousin is pregnant and so are we. It is a first child for both couples. They haven’t announced yet and we have only announced to family (in other words, my MIL put it on her facebook…). I can’t lie, at first I was a little perturbed because I thought  that people may be less excited if we were pregnant at the same time. Common sense prevailed- if his cousin is pregnant I will be super thrilled and it definitely won’t take away from people’s joy about our baby. 

Post # 15
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

Even if you announce after you’re engaged, people are still going to do the math (if they’re that narky about it) and know that it happened before you were engaged. 

Waiting is hard, but I guess you just have to think that these girls might have had a hard time with waiting too! Teny probably went through the same issues, it’s just their circumstances are slightly different and so have announced their engagements sooner. It’s not a race, and I’m sure you feel your soon to be FI is the best of the bunch, so try not to feel too down about it. 

And congratulations! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy. 

Post # 16
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ninteenthchance:  A friend had the same due date as my first. It didn’t matter, we laughed and compared. And then she gave birth first. Again, it didn’t matter. Your family and friends will be over the moon regardless. Just breathe, and be happy for them. You are overthinking this.

p.s. And another friend got engaged after me and got married 2 weeks before in the same church. Again it didn’t matter.

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