(Closed) Why am I the only one saving money…

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly, financial responsibility is a very big deal to me. I wouldn’t marry someone who was irresponsible about saving vs. spending. If I was in your shoes, I would keep saving secretly, but tell him that I’m not saving for the wedding any more because I won’t marry someone who can’t be financially responsible. Maybe it will take realizing that there won’t be a wedding without a change on his part before he starts actually making the change. Of course, I would only recommend this approach if you have already clearly talked about the issue and your feelings. Otherwise start with a really honest and forward conversation about it. 

ETA: What exactly is on the list of things he needs to pay for? Are these things actually totally frivolous, or are they not exactly optional at this point? I can see his side of things if what he has to pay for is something like car payments for a car that was an irresponsible purchase to begin with, but is his reponsibility now. 

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Are some of his excuses valid? I think different people define different things as being irresponsible. FI and I had a talk about his phone bill when we first got engaged. He had some outrageous plan that he was paying twice a month what I was paying for my plan. He seemed to think it was necessary and didn’t agree with me that he should get a cheaper plan to save money. I let it drop, but later he came around to my side of things and has committed to me managing our finances in the future.

Perhaps you could sit down with your FI and figure out some things he could cut out or save money on? 

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