Weddingbee Boards
I had a large bridal party and I was very upfront with what was expected from them, and I was very careful to provide timelines for everything. It was time consuming but everything worked out well with the bridesmaids. I was very lucky. I'm sorry you are going through this!
I'm sorry too. Unless a bride specifies that she is paying for their dresses, I think it's understood that the Bms will be doing so. If they had an issue with this, they should have been upfront with you. And it is unfair that they are pulling this when commitments have been made, and is difficult for anyone to pull the plug.
If it's a huge deal, you could tell them that you can't afford to pay for their dresses. (Maybe call their bluff, if you think they are bluffing.) But be prepared form them, to possibly back out of the wedding.
I'm having problems with my MOH and I only have 3 BMs total. The other 2 girls already purchased their dresses, but my MOH says she's broke. Um hello? She makes $10k more than me and just bought thousands of dollars worth of furniture from Crate and Barrel and new clothes.
Girl i'm on your side with the annoyances. Mine are pretty much driving me crazy and I can't watch a wedding movie without crying for atleast 15-20minutes, so my man is trying to ban me from them
I'm a bit too early in the game to be having major issues with my girls BUT picking dresses is already turning out to be annoying. They are paying for their dresses and I'm not helping because I just can't, and I've never been a BM and gotten any help on the dress front so I'm not doing it either. Basically I'm making concessions already because I want everyone to be able to pick the type of top they like (majorly different body types and heights in my group) but they need to be all the same length and color. That is non-negotiable, and yet I'm getting a little bit of attitude about it. Also there's one girl that I'm not making a BM because she has a massive (and IMO ugly) tattoo that covers her entire upper arm and my wedding is in late August and the dresses will all be sleeveless. So she's all upset with me for not making her a BM - my MoH no less! - and some of the others are whining about color, dress cost, etc. and I just wish everyone would shut up and go with it because that's what I've always done when I've been annoyed as a BM. I feel like that's part of the territory - if things annoy you, you keep your mouth shut to the bride and complain to the other BMs. Grrr.
Well, if you saw my other post, you know how I'm feeling. Actually, I shouldn't really complain. My biggest sources of stress have been my sister (who will be more than 8 months pregnant so most of her issues are pretty understandable) and my BFF/MOH. Everyone else has actually been pretty awesome.
Definitely vent away here on these boards...we all know how you feel to some extent! And it's good to know that none of us is alone in having some BP nightmares. Sometimes I read posts about how other people have these awesome BM's and I wonder if there's something wrong with me :)
My FI cracked me up this morning. He was like, "Well everyone knows that brides can be demanding. You're supposed to smile and nod to the bride, and then talk about her behind her back. That's what everyone else does. She definitely isn't following protocol." Hee...
My BMs STILL haven't ordered their dreses, although they are not getting typical BM dresses from a bridal shop but gee whiz, the wedding is less than 2 months away. I have called, e-mailed, tried to get them together for lunch, etc. Everyone is too busy. Fine. I am sick and tired of worrying about their sh*t and have finally decided I can not stress about them anymore. I got my outfit and accessories, the flowers, their jewlery, the venues and did the invitations myself. Now I just need to get the rings, record the music for the pig roast (day after wedding party) and make final arrangements for the food. They were oh so excited at the beginning and now they are too busy although none want to drop out. I NO LONGER CARE! If they show up for the rehearsal and wedding, great! If they don't, I'm still getting married anyway!
grrrrrr... me too!
I understand that i am the first to get married and so no one has a clue what is expected....but thats half of why it bothers me so much! I know 2 years down the road i am going to be expected to throw bachelor parties and squeeze into ugly dresses and tie potpouri, and yet when it was my turn everyone gets off scott free because i am the first?
i am a designer so i am making all of their dresses, i am so laid back i am letting them pick between three colors and any design they want as long as its knee length.
ALL i asked them to do was send me their measurements (as everyone is all over the country) and i would take care of it.
yesterday my MOH called and said, umm i got your message but i dont have a measuring tape so i guess well just have to wait until i get back in mid- july (3 weeks prior to wedding)
and another one said, i cant give them to you yet because i am going to lose weight, can get them to you in a few weeks???
so i guess everyone just presumes that i have sooo much free time planning a wedding alone and all that whipping up six dresses 2 weeks before my wedding will be no biggy.
HAH
Yeah, it was good to write that because venting always helps! I did feel bad though because I had a couple of the girls chip in after I wrote that and help out with some stuff, so its not all bad. But if I had to do it all over again, I would have picked a much smaller wedding party and saved everyone the stress of buying an expensive dress and saved myself the stress of getting people to get things done. I think my fiance also regrets pressuring me to have a large wedding party because he's the one who gets to hear me complain about it;) But I'm going to just "let it be" and worry about myself and my awesome wedding, which is what every bride should do!
ive only been in one bridal party for one of my best friends (not friends anymore) but it was a nightmare and mine has also been a nightmare to deal with. its really sad when bridesmaids dont pull their own weight and others get blamed but when you are in a group of a bunch of girls you don't know, you think we are all old enough and mature but the thing is no matter how old you are some people are just immature
bluespurrs: I can TOTALLY relate. I have been trying to get all four of my BMs to come shopping together for their dresses since April and it has yet to happen. There's ALWAYS something more important that comes up.
I'm getting really fed up too. The dress is in the 150$ range from what I last saw. All they have to do is try on dresses from the same store I got my dress which is easily accesible from the subway station. They try on their style, check the size, and order it in the color sage in chiffon. That's it! But no, they can't take 2 hours from 168 during the week to do that. I am truly disappointed.
@fizicsGirl - I love that your FI said that, haha! That's gonna be my new motto :)
All I can say, is I know how you feel... I'm just starting to see it now... but one of my BMs hasn't returned a single call, text or FB msg in over two weeks. And I. Am. PISSED.
I'm considering writing out a List of Duties for all my BMs (though it would be directed toward her) so that she understands come dress fitting time she can't just fuck off for a month and not bother to give any kind of explination. UGH. (I can feel my inner Bridezilla waiting to come out)
You think you have drama? My oldest friend of 25 years, who already bought her bridesmaid dress and her daughter's Jr. bridesmaid dress, told me 2 days ago that she didn't feel like we had anything in common anymore and couldn't stand up for me at my wedding in October!! As if I don't have enough to stress over! I have been so upset and talked about it with several friends. Do you think it's in bad taste to ask another friend, one I should have asked before?
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| KMSull | 93 |
| MissAsB | 70 |
| pmerr | 61 |
| crebre80 | 47 |
| amanda.lynn | 44 |
| Jessie516 | 34 |
| LatteLove | 32 |
| PurdueGrace | 30 |
| daydreamwanderer | 30 |
| eryepye | 30 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| caszos | 6 |
| Miss Chapstick | 3 |
| hellohellohello | 3 |
| monitajb | 2 |
| AmberEyes | 2 |
| bvig | 2 |
| moderndaisy | 2 |
| Tulip61110 | 2 |
| Nlmiele | 2 |
| Mimi29 | 2 |
I'm definitely beginning to understand other women's annoyances with bridesmaids on here after experiencing my own!
Half my bridesmaids procrastinated and haven't gotten their dress yet and the wedding is in 3 months. Because of that, they have to pay an expensive rush fee just to get it here by the wedding. Not my fault, but I seem to hear a lot of complaining about that.
Two of the bridesmaids asked me to pay for their dress because they can't afford it right now, but every weekend I seem to see tons of pictures of them on facebook spending $$$ at bars and on clothes. Plus the fact that my fiance and I are broke from the wedding and the nerve of them asking me to pay for it is pretty ballsy.
One of my bridesmaids that lives in another state told me she would be able to make it to my bachelorette party if we planned it on a certain weekend. Bachelorette party is planned and oops! she forgot she has another girl's wedding to go to that weekend.
Another bridesmaid is a control freak and is trying to control every aspect of the wedding and is getting offended when I politely decline her very tacky ideas.
Basically, when we started planning the wedding, I wanted one or two girls up with me because I love my friends but I know their situations and their personalities. My fiance couldn't fathom less than 8, so we comprimised on 5. Bad idea. Now I am dealing with my friends personality "quirks" and you can bet my fiance is hearing about it.
Basically, ladies, YOU should decide how many people you want in your wedding party and if you have a smidge of doubt about any of the girls, just say NO! Its not worth the stress or putting friendships through the stress.