(Closed) Why are decisions so hard to make???

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

A few things.

I would tell FI, too bad you want who you want on your side so it has to be uneven bridal parties ๐Ÿ™‚

Maybe you could do black dresses and ask the girls to wear a certain colored shoe and/or sash? 

If you choose a color, order a swatch of fabric so you can show the color to the girls you choose.

The good thing about tuxes is you know they will match. If you choose suits each guy will not have the same suit. And if you do mismatched dresses and mismatched suits it will not have the cohesive look you are going for. That and the groom often gets his tux for free.

Favors. Do you want to give something? Something edible is always popular as is doing a donation in lieu of favors (just be sure the guests know this somehow)

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Don’t fret!  You still have a lot of time!  ๐Ÿ™‚

Have you considered getting a very small wedding cake and then a regular sheet cake that will be sliced up in the back to be served to the guests?  I hear that’s pretty cost-efficient, as long as your venue doesn’t have a hefty cake-cutting fee.  People always say cupcakes are cheaper than a cake, but based on prices I’ve looked at in my area, the price difference isn’t substantial (unless you’re getting clearance grocery store cupsakes or something).  But if you had cupcakes you’d avoid a cake-cutting fee since people can just grab their own off the tray.

As for the BM and GM attire – what’s your color scheme and how formal is your wedding?  I’d be inclined to just leave the menswear decision up to FI (that’s what I’m doing – I told him I figured normal suits would be fine and he replied, “What?  No, if we’re having a wedding we should wear tuxes!” – so I told him to be my guest, one less thing for me to plan!)

I don’t really get this whole “black is a man’s color” thing.  That’s the first time I’ve heard of that.  I think cocktail-length black dresses are great bridesmaid attire if it suits the tone of your event.  If you go for colors and the mismatched look, I think you’ll want to stick with one color, or maybe two that complement each other well.  You can have a palette of varying shades in one color, which looks really pretty.  Or you can pick one particular color and shade at a chain store like David’s Bridal or Alfred Angelo and tell your BM’s to pick whatever style dress they like in the color “crimson” or “clover” or whatever color it is that you pick.

Definitely doesn’t matter if the number of attendants on each side are even.  My advice would be to not even make that a consideration.  Just pick people who are important to you.  I’m having all four of my sisters since they are all important to me (and I feel like it would be really jerky of me to pick and choose among my won sisters) as well as my two closest friends – though one of my sisters may actually end up standing on my FI’s side because they are really good friends as well and she thinks it would be cool.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I told her she can do whatever she wants.

I sort of feel like favors are on their way out.  If they’re important to your family, I guess you should do them, but I don’t think I’ll be doing favors at my wedding.  I feel like nobody ever keeps them (that is, if they even take them home, because so many are left behind at the wedding), and I don’t think anybody would notice if there weren’t any favors.  So it seems to me that it has the potential to be a very wasteful expenditure.

At a year out, though, I think you have a good deal of time before most of these decisions need to be made.  I’d say pick your bridal party now, but put aside the cake and BM dress issues and go get a massage first.  ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 5
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yes I am having the same problem except take a look at my date. For you it seems like you cna decide that you definitly want a cake since you said that you didn’t really invision cupcakes at your wedding and that you are in love with cake toppers. So I think its pretty obvious that you should choose cake.

As for BMs why don’t you tell your FI to choose one more GM so that you can have all 4 BMs. Tell him that either he excepts that its uneven or he chooses one more GM because its easier to ask someone to be in your wedding then it is to choose who you will not be asking. If he refuses to get another GM and insists on even numbers then do family in the wedding party that way no friends who were not asked will feel bad.

The GMs can wear the black tuxes tha your FI wants as long as your BMs are wear long dresses no matter what color the dresses are. If you really want them in black then tell your FI that he gets to choose what the GMs wear and you get to choose what the BMs wear. If you want them to wear lite colors then choose a few light colors that all look good together and tell them that they can choose any of those colors.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

double post

Post # 6
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Here’s what I do: sorry, I didn’t read the whole post cuz I’m at work and can’t focus for some reason lol.  If it’s stressing you out, walk away from it for 24 hours.  It doesn’t have to be done RIGHT NOW.  Here’s what I usually do:  print pictures of what you’re trying to decide on.  Put them out next to each other.  Leave them there a few hours/a day.  Come back and see which one catches your eye first.  Lots of times, we ignore our gut about what we really like and end up picking something we don’t.  Don’t think about it as “OMG I gotta decide!!!”  Just think of it as “hmm which do I like better?”   Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
643 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One, you have a lot of time to make the decisions, yay!

Two, not to devalue anything you are stressing over, but remember all of the things you are stressing about are totally optional and many other than you or those in the know aren’t likely to remember or care (cake, or cupcakes…both a good thing! tux or suits….they’ll look good either way!)

Take your time choosing your girls. I have an 11 month engagement and took 5 months to ask my girls, and STILL have small bits of regret in my decisions.

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