- 3 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius
I have a fairly large friend group, when I moved county to be closer to FI and eventually move in together (3 years ago) I had no friends in the area, but quickly made friends with all of FI’s friends partners. FI’s groups of friends is huge, people he grew up with, people he went to school with, people who lived in the same village as his mum etc. Most know or have met each other but there are inevitably going to be some ‘clicks’ in any large group. I am outgoing and bubbly, I tend to get on with most people and so have found I am just friends with everyone from every group, which has it’s good and bad.
I find that there is a lot of bitchiness between some of the groups of girls, and usually I stay out of it is much as I can, however recently there seems to be one girl ‘singled out’ and I feel a bit stuck in the middle. This girl is very shy, only comes out of her shell when she has been drinking. Over the last few weeks there has been more than the usual amount of get togethers involving everyone, including my birthday party, a friends party and a batchelorette party. She turned up to them all, but sat there miserable, wouldn’t speak with anyone, didn’t say hi/bye, didn’t say thankyou to the hosts etc, so this rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way.
I had a sneaky suspision at my bday party a few weeks back that she was pregnant, she wasn’t drinking when usually she would, she wasn’t eating much and looked a bit off colour, as well as a slight bump I thought I saw. So sure enough she announced last week she was 13 weeks pregnant, I went over with a card and to see how she was she said that’s why she had been so ‘off’ the last few times I’d seen her. Most of the girls congratulated her but said she was always rude and miserable anyway. She really rubbed one particular girl up the wrong way when she came to her bday party, didn’t say hi, didn’t bring anything, didn’t come up and say happy birthday, didn’t say thank you, and left without saying goodbye. I underdstand the frustration and how it may come across to some people, but I also know this girl and know she has been feeling pretty ill and feel bad for her, she is shy and find it hard in large groups of people. I’m not saying that is an excuse for being rude, and before I have thought she really should try to make an effort if she decides to come to a social occasion.
This week she pulled out of my batchelorette weekend in 3 months time due to ‘being pregnant’. It’s a lovely house by the beach with a hot tub, afternoon tea, a few games and food/drinks in the evenings not like it’s a big weekend or anything, nethertheless I said that’s fine and whatever she feels comfortable with. I had to tell the other girls as with the lesser number it meant slightly more per person, and they all started with the ‘why isn’t she coming’, I told them she was worried about going, being 25 weeks pregnant by then, she has mild epilepsy but means she is a little higher risk and generally atm she isn’t feeling good so just didn’t want to let me down at the last min, however they have all started being a bit nasty and saying stop complaining, also that it would be better without her etc!
These other girls really aren’t nasty people, I have always thought they are some of the nicest, down to earth people I have ever knows, and haven’t really ever seen this level of bitchiness from any of them over the last 3-4 years, except for now. I understand this other girl has upset some people, I don’t want to take sides as I am friends with everyone, I have tried to calm everyone down and say don’t speak about her liek that, she is my friend, she has some social issues, a lot stemming from the epilepsy (she has fitted before in front of people, you loose control of your bodily functions too, and so she is always embaressed it will happen and people will see).
Not really sure what to do!?