- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
I just want to know why people are so judgmental? Even the priest I was hoping would marry us. My Fiance and I are both catholic and, although I am somewhat “new“, we would both be heartbroken if we end up not getting married in the church. But at this point in time, I don’t think I want to get married in the church. At least, not in my home parish anyway. People I have talked to about my Fiance and I getting married haven’t exactly been warm and welcoming. Which is a complete shock to me, considering how wonderful everyone had been when I was interested in joining the church.
I knew my fiancé for quite a while before we even discussed getting into a relationship with each other. He has told me things not even his family knows, and I’ve told him things nobody else knows. We can talk to each other about anything. Literally, even if it’s too embarrassing, painful or whatever to talk to anyone else about it. We’ve talked more about life AFTER the wedding than any actual planning of a wedding. We have discussed where and how we will live before and after we get married. And we already know what we expect from each other after the wedding (and we are both happy with those roles), who will be in charge of finances, when and how we will start our family, even how we will discipline our children and how we will handle arguments. Several months ago, we did the FOCCUS. We had already discussed and decided on most of the things it asked us, and the few we hadn’t thought of, we have since talked about. So it’s not like we are rushing into a marriage unprepared. Everything seems great so far, huh?
The thing that turns people off to the idea of him and I getting married? He is currently in prison. When he was young (18, 19), he made some stupid choices and got caught. He did his time and was released on parole. He had a good job, his own place. Everything was going really good for him. He had about a month of parole left when a “friend” of his asked him to get him a computer. Fiance knows A LOT about computers, so it wasn’t an unreasonable request. People were always asking him for help with different computer related issues they had. Fiance went to get the computer for the guy and was even talking to him on the phone at the store to make sure he got a computer that the guy wanted, and that he didn’t spend more than the guy wanted. Well, it turned out that the “friend” had given him a check from a closed account, and instead of saying he gave him the wrong check or something, he said that Fiance had stolen the check and forged his signature. So Fiance got charged with felony forgery and other related charges. Parole violation. They sent him back to prison. I took Fiance to the PC store to get the computer, so I know for a fact what happened and that the “friend“ was a liar. Plus hand writing analysis proved the “friend” had signed the check himself and the case was dropped. But, even though Fiance hadn’t done anything wrong, they made him stay.
I am not a naive person, like people seem to think, and I am defiantly NOT stupid. Before even getting into this relationship, I made for sure that I 100% completely trusted and knew my Fiance. I even went so far as to look him online so see if he was telling me the truth on his previous charges (the ones from 10+yrs ago) when we were “just thinking” about dating. I had been hurt and lied to so much before that, so at the time, I was suspicious of pretty much everyone. And he completely understood, and even encouraged me, to “check him out”.