- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2017
Fi and I have been engaged since Easter, but we didn’t have the money at the time to get the ring. I was meant to be going home to Canada in August so I asked Fi if he could get me the ring by then, so I could go home to celebrate with my family and friends.
When I arrived home, I got a good reaction when telling my parents of the engagement. THey were happy for us (although a little unhappy I waited 5 months to tell them – Although they understood why… being that not having the ring didn’t make it seem real and that I wanted to be able to tell them in person).
The problem is that I am not getting the reaction that I wanted from other people. I told my grandmother about it when I was at lunch with her and she was just silent. She kept silent because she didn’t want to say anything bad. What she wanted to say was that he wasn’t Jewish. What that means is that it is not acceptable for me to marry FI. My mother had to tell her when I left the table to let me make my own decisions and be happy for me.
My friend came over to surprise me and welcome me home for my vacation and because I was not expecting her, she showed up while I was looking at bridal mags with my mom. I wasn’t planning on telling her about the engagement right away, but was sort of forced into it given the cirucmstances and again had a much less than enthusiastic response. She didn’t even smile. Asked me to tell her again what I said – as if she didn’t believe what I said the first time. Fi and I have been together 2 years, and my friend is one of the few I was in contact with regularly since I moved overseas. Was it too much to expect for her to at least be happy and show it? We caught up for about an hour and there was not one mention of Fi, the future plans, etc or even a CONGRATULATIONS at least! This was a very surprising thing for me, as this is actually a good friend of mine.
I also was forced into telling my sister (by my mother and father, as they felt it would be better for her to hear it from me than from someone else). I was dreading telling her about it actually, as I knew more or less what her response would be and her response was pretty much as I imagined. Something along the lines of “I don’t know why you expect me to care, you live overseas and no one will be coming to your wedding”. No congratulations, not happy for me, and just really flat out mean comments. Her husband came over and I told him about it and at least he showed some enthusiasm and happiness for Fi and I (Fi stayed in Australia for work) and so I said to my sister that this was the tpye of reaction I was hoping to have from her – nothing extravagent, just some enthusiasm and support! Her response to me, in front of my parents and her hubby was that her hubby was only reacting that way because HE DOESNt CARE ABOUT ME.
So now I just feel awful – what was supposed to be really happy news is turning to s**t. I feel even worse about it because Fi was trying to hard to be able to get me the ring before I went – because I kept pressuring him to do it so I could go home to celebrate with my friends and family. Looks like that was a big waste of money for him (when he was actually trying to save up for a deposit on a house that he now will need to wait a few more months to save up for) and a really hard punch in the gut for me.
My father would like to officially announce the engagement but with the reactions I have been getting from peolpe close to me it makes me want to hide under a rock and run away and get married without telling anyone anything.
At least my parents are on our side.