Why are smaller people not allowed to feel bad about their weight?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Ibblet:  In general, it is because it is easier to gain weight than lose it (unless you have a medical condition). For someone who truly struggles with weight and is 30+ pounds overweight, it is a bit annoying to hear someone who has a body I would want to have complain. I honestly do think, “yeah, I wish I could be as fat as you.” In general, I don’t want to hear anyone complain about their body. If you’re unhappy, do something about it. That’s why I’m trying to do.

Post # 4
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know what you mean.  I’m usually a size 2/4 but if I ever complain about needing to lose 5 to 10 pounds a friend of mine gets all grouchy at me and says, “Shut it, I don’t even want to hear about it.”  She’s perpetually 20 pounds overweight but I don’t see why it makes any difference. You and I can encourage each other!  😉

Post # 5
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Ibblet:  I think its becuase when you are smaller those 15 lbs shows waaaay more than if you are a bit bigger to begin with. So its harder for bigger girls to understand why “just 15 lbs” is frustrating for littler ladies. FYI you may want to edit and state that this post has to do with body image, just so all bases are covered 🙂

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Your friends sound totally immature. Who makes fun of people for skipping ice cream? It’s just because they’re projecting their own insecurities onto you.

15 lbs is a lot for someone who is 5′ tall. I’m 5’4″ and trying to lose weight… so I can relate. I still fit into a 6-8 (which isn’t huge by most standards) but I feel fat, you know? And yeah, 15 lbs for me is the difference between two sizes, easily.

So I get it.

I suppose you should just try not to talk about it. You can’t talk about certain topics with some people.

I get the other side too.. reminds me of an unrelated example – I was totally struggling in math back in high school, borderline failing. It would piss me off to no end when my friend who always did well in math would be like “omg, I did soo badly” and they ended up with over 80% on the test when I would be close to failing lol. I think it’s all perspective really. So I think unfortunately the best course of action here is just to not mention it, whether that’s fair or not.

Post # 7
Member
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Ibblet:  In the same way as when your friend who makes $1mil/year complains about having to pay $200k in taxes and you roll your eyes and say “well I’d be plenty happy with $800k!”  They’d be more happy with $1mil!  You’d be more happy to be a 2/3 and your friends would be plenty happy to be a 5/6. 

It’s always frustrating to see someone complain about having something you want.  Or another example – someone who is TTC hears a friend complain about an unexpected pregnancy.  From a different perspective it would be both the best thing and the worst thing.  You can understand each other and still see it differently.

Post # 8
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Little_Hedgy:  Isn’t it obvious this post is to do with body image or am I missing something? Lol

Post # 9
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Ibblet:  we all live in our own hell. 

Post # 10
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Barn

I think also because size 5/6 can be considered small, especially when you factor in, “Small compared to ___ size”, as your friend seems to be doing. 

Post # 11
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with MrsPanda99. I hate when people talk about weight loss and their struggles. I am yet to meet a woman who never ever in her life experienced a weight problem whether it is weight gain or weight loss or muscle loss or just toning up. We all struggle, but no need to complain about it. There is so much that could be done to solve whatever problem you have. OP, I can assure you if you were a bigger girl and wanted to lose weight, there would still be people who would roll their eyes when you talked about wanting to look better. Good for you for wanting to look better, but don’t take it personally. There will always be people who will look better that you and there will always be people who would kill to have your body. That is just how it is!

 

Post # 12
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MrsPanda99:  +1

 

I’ve struggled with weight alot in my life. It’s hard to hear someone who doesn’t look like they have an oz of fat on their body complain about being overweight.

I will say though, watching RHOC this season when Slade told Lydia she needed a cheeseburger, I could tell that was hurtful to her. It’s just as hurtful for someone to tell a thinner person they need a cheeseburger just as it is to call someone fat.

Post # 13
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

Because as smaller women we are supposed to just deal with others bashing us for our weight. It doesn’t matter if I am watching my weight or not, which I do and I eat healthfully for a reason.

 

The other women at my work will sneer at me and make nasty comments about how “she’s on a DIET, look at her.” when I eat healthy food.

 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told to go eat a hamburger or asked if I’m anorexic or if I’ve puked yet that day. 

 

I am a size 00 and thus apparently society thinks that I deserve to be verbally abused about my weight. I’ll never be confident in the way that I look simply because other women are constantly shaming me for being smaller than they are and telling me that I’m too skinny and that it’s unattractive. 

Post # 14
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I deal with this problem, too. People don’t understand that being a jerk about it, just because THEY think it’s silly for you to feel that way, is JUST as bad as someone judging THEM for their weight.

True, we should all be confident in our bodies, but you know what? You and I have just as much right to complain about gaining weight as everyone else. 

And, as you mentioned, 15lbs is a HUGE deal. I used to be a 1, and I’m now a 5. I have just as much right to want to fit in my old jeans and shorts as everyone else. 

Post # 15
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Ibblet:  I know what you mean. We are all our own worst critics. My boss and several of my co-workers were trying to lose weight a few months ago and they continuously brought up my small size in conversation when I would walk past their offices “If only I was as lucky to be as skinny as her”, “She never needs to watch what she eats”. Initially, I didn’t say much and just fake-laughed it off. One day, I decided to stick up for myself and I replied by telling them that I am in shape because I have a healthy lifestyle, I watch what I eat, and I exercise several times a week. No one at work has mentioned my weight or body since!

Post # 16
Member
9220 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@musician32992:  That’s terrible.  Once, when I was younger, I got treated very badly in an exercise class at a gym.  These ladies were hissing at me, “Get out of here, you don’t belong in here, you’re already skinny, you don’t need to be here.”  I was seriously about to cry.

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