Post # 1
Ok this post really has no rhyme or reason other then I just need to ask one question and get a little irritation off of my chest.
Why are there some woman that are just plain out mean, wrong, apathetic, and just out and out bad people???
I have a certain friend (lets call her Sarah) that has always been this way since middle school. She’s one of those “friends” that you don’t completely pull away from because she gives the meaning to “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer” thing. I mean this girl is just nasty. And I usually dont let people bother me and I haven’t let her bother me in years but just recently a mutual friend of ours is getting married and this Sarah sends out invites to the bachelorette party over facebook and the invite is visible to everyone invited. In the description she specifically points me out and say’s “We will be carpooling but unfortunetly, Missflipflops you cannot carpool with us. Wish that you could. Sorry!” and doesn’t give any explanation. So am I suppose to be the only one who has to follow behind the rest of the party? I asked why and I haven’t gotten a response back. I know it seems trivial but I know that this is just her way of trying to get me out of the party. Anyways I’m not going because I am pregnant and a bachelorette party is just out of the question for me right now. I’m feeling so irritated about this because a week after the party I am doing the bride and Sarahs hair for free for the wedding! The other night I had them both over for free hair trials and bought dinner! The bride helped me pay for dinner but as soon as we started ordering Sarah says “I dont have any money!” And then she proceeds to order for the rest of us! (We got takeout, and ordered delivery)
I know Sarah is a bitter person. She always has been. This situation is just the very tip of the ice berg. Her boyfriend wont even propose to her and they have been together 2 weeks longer then I have with my husband. I know shes super jealous that I don’t treat people the way she does. I also know how highschool this is all sounding and I am so sorry for that! I just really needed to get this stupid situation off of my chest! Thanks ladies for reading!!!
Post # 3
Wow. Sarah sounds like a five-year old. 😛 I would need to vent after all that, too!
Post # 4
I don’t understand WHY exactly you NEED her in your life. Cut her off. I know you have friends in common but if you limit your time together to when you and other friends are hanging out, then it might be better.
Post # 5
Awww, I’m sorry you are dealing with such difficult and negative people! That is never a fun situation to be placed into. Especially as adults, it is tough to deal with those “high school” problems, although it seems like they still tend to happen more often than tehy should. I would definitely recommend limiting as much contact as possible with Sarah. She does not sound like a super great person by any means. Just ignore her the best you can, which I know can be hard when she is being so nasty to you. Be the bigger person and rise abover her childish antics. Best of luck!!
Post # 6
Agree with bRooklyn.
“Keep your friends close but your enemies closer”?? Um, why bother?
A lot easier to just not have enemies.
Post # 7
When I come across mean women, I just tell myself they’re jealous. It’s either that or I try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they’ve had something traumatic happen to them that made them that way.
I have a co-worker who LOVES to brag/talk about her family, vacations she goes on etc. Whenever someone else tells them they’re going on a vacation, she gets this weird look and doesn’t say anything like “oh that sounds awesome” or “have fun!” She just says “oh okay” or something to that effect. She never thanks or congratulates anyone when big things happen. It’s so frustrating and I believe it’s because she’s jealous, but I also know she has issues with her husband.
Post # 8
I’m in the boat that says there’s no need to have enemies. Sorry, but friends and people that care about you should not treat you mean because of jealuosy or any other reason.
Post # 9
Sorry I hit send too fast. Meant to say Good luck and I realize that situations like this can be difficult!
Post # 10
I wouldn’t want anybody like that in my life. Especially, since she’s not family. Why bother?
If I were you, I’d see the other friends when she isn’t around.
Post # 11
Life is too short to have ‘friends’ like that. Chalk it up to personal growth and maturity and put some distance between you guys post-wedding. Seriously – that girl needs to grow up and it’s not your job to do. Focus on your DH and your soon to be child (congrats, btw) and realize that life will always be filled with people who are dealing (or can’t deal) with their own issues and they are toxic to everyone around them.
Post # 12
Sarah and I don’t ever hang out alone, call eachother…etc. We just have a TON of mutual friends so we end up seeing eachother alot. I definetly dont go out of my way to keep contact with her. Up until about last year I think we went 2 years without seeing eachother. It just seems that whenever something is going on the requires us to be together that she targets me. Shes always been out to get me. And she will go out of her way to do it. I’m to the point where I’m wondering if I should just stop hanging out at any group things because she might be there. I don’t go out of my way to talk to her. I have really no interest in her what so ever. She just goes wayyy out of her way to do something to me.
P.s. I’m ONLY doing her hair because she is the Maid of honor and the bride asked me if I could. I thought we could be adult enough to get through this…but maybe not???? Grr I haven’t felt this way since highschool!!! I feel so immature!
Post # 13
Ahh, brush it off girl. It’s obvious that her nasty demeanor and comments are just a mask for her own insecurities. It makes it sting that much more when you don’t give in to her.
But I agree with the other ladies that there really is no need for people like this in your life. You should be surrounded by people who care about you and love you!
Post # 14
@MissFlipFlops: thanks for the additional details about the dynamics of your interaction. Honestly, I’d call her out on her BS when it goes down. Don’t let her walk over you by not reacting to her bad behavior! One or two times of calling her out on her rude behavior should do the trick.
Post # 15
Oh I missed your last post. But Oracle’s right, maybe she will be embarassed that you called her out and leave you alone.
Post # 16
Here is a quote from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements that gave me a little perspective:
“Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”