(Closed) Why are the bridesmaids the biggest headache of the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think it’s just natural with when a group of girls that some of them will cause drama. ppl don’t really think of other ppl until they’re put in the other person’s shoes! i’m going to assume that these two BM’s are not yet married?

maybe they don’t mean to be selfish, i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man that def didnt know etiquette and rules and have learned so much about the whole wedding planning process since becoming engaged.

HUGS to you that this stress may pass and yes, your wedding day will be perfect! (unless ur BM’s are not normal, sane girls)


feel better soon dear!

Post # 4
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Honestly, it’s because they are selfish, somewhat jealous, or just immature.

Post # 5
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I had that problem…..I kicked her out.  She was someone who would scrutinze every single thing I did (and everyone else for that matter) and just thinking about all the crap she would say just gave me anxiety and I didn’t want to deal w/ that on our special day.

Post # 6
27 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

Don’t worry about them. You have been so accommodating. If it was too expensive for them to participate in your wedding, it was their responsibility to say so, not yours. Maybe they are reacting to different stress in their lives. Don’t let it get you down. I am guessing that these are two people who have been difficult at other times in your life, not just in regards to your wedding? At any rate, just brush it off. Don’t let it bug you. 🙂

Post # 7
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with everyone else…it sounds like you’re doing your best to be nice and work with them, and unfortunately not everyone is willing to put the same amount of positive energy out that you are.

My friend is having a similar challenge right now…she’s getting married in August, and has 6 bridesmaids (I’m one of them).  It’s more or less been me and one other person helping her with everything, and everyone else is too busy with their own lives, or not responsive to her requests, and I know she’s been frustrated.  And her solution has been to focus on those who are being helpful and have minimal intereaction with those who aren’t. 

It is a bit of a bummer to not be able to rely on the people you hope are supporting you…and sometimes you have to focus on what’s best for you, namely relying on those yoiu know you can.  And, if others are being challenging (won’t buy things, can’t buy things, complain too much), it’s okay to say something like, hey I know you’ve been expressing challenges in paying or whatever, blah blah, is this something you want to do/can afford to do right now?  Because if not, I would like to know so we’re not all stressed, or something like that.  It could be that your bridesmaids didn’t realize what is entailed in being a bridesmaid and dont know how to tell you they don’t want to.  So open discussion is always a good option.

I think ultimately, this should be your time to enjoy yourself and have fun and keep the stress level as minimal as possible (which is hard sometimes).  So, focus on whose positive and making you feel positive, and as much as possible, disregard the stressful ones. 

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